


Nothing Else Matters

by Geektaire



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-10-26 20:05:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 54,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10793817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geektaire/pseuds/Geektaire
Summary: Sometimes it's just a moment. A single choice which changes everything from then on. Sometimes it is the choice to allow a friend to walk away when you know they're hurting... sometimes it is to choose to find that friend and comfort them.What would have happened if Daryl and Carol hadn’t pulled away after he came back from the initial confrontation with the Saviors during the fall of Alexandria? What would have happened if instead of drifting apart, they had found their way back to one another ?Well... why don't we find out?.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to all of you who helped me through this one. Especially to CharlotteAshmore that is an amazing beta and kept me going when I started to want to drop this for other stuff.... 
> 
> This is finished, I will post maybe twice a week... but rest reassure this whole thing is sitting complete in my GD and ready for you guys to read it.

 

 

He knew there was something wrong the moment she stiffened as he laid his hand on her shoulder. Her whole body tensed, and she hissed as he softly pressed her shoulder a little harder. 

 

Her eyes looked up at him pleadingly, she didn’t want to do it in front of everyone, she didn’t want to seem weak in front of everyone. At his small nod, he could see how some of the tension drained from her body and there was gratitude in her eyes. 

 

He would let it go for now, but just for now. Things had always been hard in this world, but they had been close this time. Too close. When he had heard the noise from the road, the need to go back to Alexandria, to go back to  _ her  _ was all he could think about. Nothing else mattered, nothing but coming back for  _ her _ . 

 

“Rough day, huh?” Her snort and low chuckle made part of the weight on his chest disappear, she just shook her head at him a little before pushing away from the pillar she had been standing against and walking away. 

 

There was a lot to be done. He tried to keep an eye on her, but work didn’t seem to allow him, ever. Bodies were scattered around, young and old, people he had never met in the couple of weeks they had been there. People Carol probably knew by name and backstory by then. People that, knowing her, she was already mourning. He couldn’t help but shed a tear when he took the small body of the boy he had seen hanging around Carol, taking him and putting him in one of the graves which had been made for this. 

 

It was then when he knew he needed to find her. He had no idea if she knew about Sam yet, but she was going to find out eventually. And losing yet another kid, even if they would never be Sophia, would hurt her deep into her very soul. And he couldn’t pretend anymore, not after almost dying for the fiftieth time. 

 

He was not going to stay away. He refused to stay away. He had stayed away long enough, he had no idea what had happened, but he knew it was bad just based on how things were now. He had slowly let her hide behind her little Suzy homemaker disguise and push him away. He was not going to allow it anymore, never again. 

 

Glenn gave him a knowing look when he murmured where he was going, and before anyone else had a chance to say anything, he was off looking for her. It didn’t take him long to find her. 

 

Her bedroom door wasn’t closed all the way, as if she hadn’t been expecting anyone anytime soon. And other than them there wasn’t going to be anyone else for some time. Michonne and Rick were going to be at Carl’s side until he regained consciousness, and Tara was taking care of Little Asskicker. He had walked up the stairs as quietly as usual, not wanting to wake her up in case she had fallen asleep. 

 

She wasn’t asleep. 

 

The sound of his sharp intake of breath made Carol jump and turn to look at him, trying to cover her naked back as she did so. But it was too late, he had seen. 

 

Her shoulders and head dropped as she let her shirt fall, her back to him once more. 

 

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. The right side of her back, from her hip to her shoulder was an ugly blue color. He couldn’t move as he watched her shoulders start to shake, as she wrapped her arms slowly across her front, shielding herself from the outside. But letting him keep a watch on her back, as if unconsciously knowing that he would always watch her back, always. 

 

When the sound of her sobs reached his ears, it was like whatever hadn’t let him move suddenly disappeared. In three strides he was kneeling behind her in the bed, his calloused hands softly touching the edges of her bruises. Softly, barely touching really. 

 

From up close he could see that it wasn’t just that huge bruise, there were more, many more. Scattered all around, from her back, to her arms, to the part of her chest he could glimpse from behind her. His best friend was in pain, and if her tears were any indication it wasn’t just physical pain she was battling. 

 

“Are they all dead?” Carol didn’t seem to have heard him, her sobs making it even harder for her to breathe. Slowly, trying not to spook her, Daryl took a deep breath before he put one arm around her waist, making sure it was a lot lower than where he shouldn’t be touching, and pulled her to him. 

 

She stiffened in pain, but she allowed him to pull her back against him. She sagged against his chest, turning her face a little to hide it in his neck. 

 

Daryl tensed, he had never been this close to another human being in his life. The closest had been that hug he had given her when they found each other again, or when he had carried her out of the tombs all those months ago. But never like this, this was more intimate than anything he had ever felt in his life. 

 

He wanted to run. 

 

But he didn’t. 

 

Instead, Daryl put his other arm on top of hers, across her collarbones and pulled her closer. His shoulder throbbed with pain, and he was sure he wasn’t supposed to be doing that with his stitches brand new. But she needed him, and he needed her. 

 

It took her a long time to calm down, he wouldn’t have realized night had fallen if she hadn’t started shivering from the cold. He blushed when he was suddenly reminded that she was half naked in his arms. 

 

“You’re cold,” Daryl murmured as he slowly moved away from her, blushing as he looked everywhere but at her. “You should take a hot shower; it’ll help with the pain.”

 

Carol, her back still to him, nodded, groaning in pain as she slowly stood up. “I’m going to…” Daryl shook his head, swallowing as he quickly moved towards the door. 

 

“Daryl…” Carol calling out his name made him look up, blushing again when he saw her looking over her shoulder with a small smile at him. “Thank you.”

 

He gave her a small smile, nodding towards the bathroom before he made his quick escape. He needed to take a shower himself, and get them something to eat. She had pushed her way into his heart when he needed her the most, when he was at his lowest. And now it was his turn to do the same. 

 

He owed it to her; he owed it to  _ them _ .  

 

-.-.-

 

It had been a difficult couple of months for her, for  _ them _ . The weight of everything that had happened since the prison fell was suddenly brought upon her shoulders, all the losses were suddenly so tangible that she didn’t know why she hadn’t just folded and checked out. 

 

No, that was not true. She knew why, and that reason was currently stealing one of the still hot cookies from the cooling rack and eating it in only one bite. 

 

“Daryl!” She whined, mock exasperation in her voice. The worst part was that he knew she was not mad at him; she could never be really mad at him. He just grinned, before he moved his hand to steal another one, grinning even more when he was able to do it with just a mild swat on the back of his hand from her. “Those are for everyone.”

 

He said nothing, the corner of his lip raised in a small smile she knew she was unable to not reciprocate. The last two months had been hard for everyone, but they had been a little less difficult for her with him by her side. 

 

And he had not left her side for the first week after what had happened. He had been her silent companion, knowing when he needed to push and when she just needed him to be there. Slowly, after many nights spent without sleeping, one by one her sins seemed to pour out of her. 

 

And one by one, as if by confessing them she had found forgiveness, the weight she felt upon her shoulders, upon her very own soul, started to become lighter and lighter. It was during that second week when the truth about what had happened to Mika and Lizzie had come out. 

 

Carl had been brought back home that day, and it was possibly the fact that it was yet another child she had been unable to help; that the girls made an appearance of her dreams. She had woken up to find herself sobbing against her pillow, knowing even in her dreams that no one must hear her plight. But apparently ‘no one’ didn’t include Daryl Dixon. 

 

He had been as gentle as the day he’d found her half naked and bruised up, as he silently laid on her bed beside her and brought her head to his chest. 

 

And she had let it all go, she had told him about Karen and David, about how it had been mercy and not coldness which caused her decision. 

 

She talked about Ty, about telling him what had happened and about putting her life in his hands. And she had told him about the two little girls she had failed, about how guilty she felt for ignoring Lizzie’s sickness; and for how much of a monster she was for having murdered a little girl under the claim of being ‘for the greater good’. 

 

He hadn’t said anything at the beginning, and that had only made Carol cry harder. She knew there was a possibility he could hate her forever for what she had done. But as usual when it came to him and his ability to see the good in people, even in her, she wasn’t wrong. 

 

It wasn’t until a few hours later, when the sun started to lighten up the sky and the birds started to sing, when she had finally run out of tears and was close to sleep as she let his heartbeat lull her into sleep, that he finally spoke. 

 

And in just a few sentences he just made her world shift on it’s axis. His logic was solid, if she was a monster for protecting their family, for killing for them, for him? Then he was just as big of a monster as she was. He was as undeserving of love, and compassion, and happiness as she was in that case; since he had killed almost as many people as she had. 

 

Her immediate reaction was to scold him, he was the best man she had ever known. He was the best man she had ever loved, and she was not going to stand there and allow him to call himself a monster. His knowing smile as he told her ‘likewise’ made her cry again. 

 

But this time they were tears of healing. 

 

The next big step was the day when he finally found out what had happened  _ that  _ day. When he found out the reason for her bruises, or at least the biggest one, hadn’t been the wolves or the walkers, but Morgan slamming her against the concrete floor in the basement of a building and knocking her out. 

 

Morgan had approached him with questions, questions on who she was and what she had been before the ‘turn’. Questions Daryl definitely didn’t approve of Morgan asking. He had brought it up with Denise and Tara, without even meaning to. 

 

And Denise had been the one to slip up. He might have reverted to angry scary Daryl, as Glenn had called him once, but he had gotten the whole story about Carol’s injuries. And the next time he had seen Morgan approach her, he had seen all the signs. Her stiff posture, her eyes looking everywhere for a way out; the unshed tears in her eyes. 

 

He hadn’t told Rick why Abraham had needed to drag him away from Morgan. But Carol’s tender touch as she’d wiped the blood from his face was worth every blow Morgan had been able to land.  _ She  _ was worth every blow Morgan had been able to land.

 

And that had been what brought them to that moment, to share cookies and smiles before he left on a much needed run with Rick. 

 

“Those are two cookies less that you and Rick will be taking with you, just so you know…” There was a teasing smile on her face, and Daryl felt his heart beat faster at the sight of it. 

 

“Awww, c’mon,” he murmured as he moved closer to her. “Don’t be like that…”

 

“Like what? You’re the cookie thief.” She was looking mock stern, but her eyes were smiling. And that’s what mattered to him. 

 

“How about I look for some chocolate for you while I’m out?”

 

“Are you bribing me, Mr. Dixon?” He could feel his face flushing at her teasing words, but he couldn’t help but raise his face and smirk at her. 

 

“What if I am?”

 

“I might need to report you to constable Grimes for that…” Daryl could feel his smile widening as she took a step closer to him while he did the same. 

 

“Did you call?” 

 

Daryl jumped away, moving to pick up his bag quickly as Rick entered the kitchen. “I’m gonna go see Denise about the medical shit.” He murmured as he hid behind his hair, not even giving her a second glance as he practically ran away from their home. He had no idea what he was doing, but it had almost felt like something important. It was something important, even his virgin ass knew that. 

 

He couldn’t help but laugh on the inside at Denise, the girl was as lost as he was. But at least, from what he got, she had actually done something. She was doing something. The soda suddenly jumped up a few steps on his priority scale. He was bringing back that, and chocolate. Those were his two allowances.

 

When he got to Rick, he was already sitting inside the car they were going to take with them. He was sitting there, eating some of Carol’s cookies. “These are good…” Rick smirked as he saw Daryl’s annoyance on his face, as he snatched the bag away from him and stuffed it in his bag. 

 

“They’re for later,” Daryl grumbled as he tried to look inconspicuous around them. 

 

“She had to go back in because Judy started to cry; she waited as long as she could.” There was no malice in Rick’s voice, and Daryl shrugged as he opened the passenger seat and dropped himself on it. “She told me to tell you, ‘Nine lives, remember?’ whatever the hell that means.”

 

“Everything,” Daryl said softly as he looked up at her window and saw her waving at him with Little Asskicker on her hip, “it means everything.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, special thanks to CharlotteAshmore, Lovesdaryl and alatarielgildaen, for putting up with me during this story. Especially to CharlotteAshmore. Thank you babes.

**Chapter 2**

 

She couldn’t help but laugh a little when she saw Morgan change direction when he saw her walking down the street. After the ‘chat’ Daryl had had with him a few weeks before, the man had finally stopped bothering her. She felt that it should bother her, that it wasn’t until a man had beat him almost to a pulp that he had stopped bothering her. But it hadn’t been any man, it had been Daryl, and that made all the difference. 

It was weird not having him around, after two months where they were practically attached to each other’s hip; there was an emptiness in her chest where his presence usually was. The day was average for what a ‘normal’ day was for them now. She quickly climbed up the stairs leading to their home, smiling at Carl as he greeted her when she walked into the kitchen.

As she prepared Carl’s and Judith’s breakfast, she couldn’t help but think that it hadn’t been only Daryl who had brought her back from where she was, from a moment which she now, with the passage of time, had realized might have been decisive in her life. It had been all of them. The love she got from all of her family. Judith’s smiles, Carl’s corny jokes, Glenn’s teasing; all of this was what had kept and was keeping her from spiraling back into that darkness which had threatened to consume her not so long ago. 

“Carl, would you mind bringing your dirty laundry down so I can take care of it?” Carol asked the boy, a smile of joy on her face as she glanced at him - he was looking better with each day that passed. He was still gloomy at times, the combination of what had happened to him and hormones not being a great one sometimes; but he was a good kid, he loved them. And she loved him. 

“He should be learning to do his own laundry by now,” Michonne teased him as he moved to go up the stairs, the sound of him bouncing the ball against the floor following him all the way up. “You coddle him too much.” There was a smile on her friend’s face, so Carol didn’t take it the wrong way. 

“That’s my job.” Carol smiled at Judith as she gave her another spoonful of her breakfast. “Daryl and I are here to spoil them, it’s yours and Rick’s job to rear them.”

“But spoiling is the fun part!” 

“We’re the fun aunt and grumpy uncle; you are the parental figures.” Carol couldn’t help but laugh as Michonne blushed at the notion of her and Rick as a couple. “And don’t try to deny it, Miss I-ran-out-of-toothpaste.”

“I did!” 

“She even stole mine,” Carl grumbled as he moved to drop all the dirty laundry off in front of the room where the machine was. “Didn’t she raid your bathroom too?”

“No.” Michonne’s eyes twinkled with mischief as she looked at Carol. “I didn’t because the scary redneck uses hers, and I have no idea what he keeps in there. Don’t want any surprises while opening one of those drawers…”

Judith slapped her hands together as she saw Carol throw a tea towel at Michonne. 

Their laughter could be heard from across the street. 

She spent most of her day in the company of Judith only, and if she was honest, she didn’t mind one bit. The little girl was growing so incredibly fast, and she was looking like her mother more and more each day. So she spent most of the day telling Judith stories about Lori, about their time together. The day gave way to dusk, and it wasn’t until then that she felt someone else listening to her stories. 

“Thank you,” Carl said softly as he moved to take Judith from her high chair and into his arms. “Sometimes I just can’t…”

“I understand.” Carol’s eyes were soft as she put a hand against Carl’s cheek. “She would be so proud of you, so proud.”

“I miss her; I miss her so much that it hurts.” Carol couldn’t do anything else but open her arms to him, careful not to crush Judith between them as they hugged. “I’m glad you’re here with us, Carol.”

“I’m glad I’m here with you, too.” She smiled at him as they pulled back, pushing a strand of his long hair behind his ear. “Now scoot; go outside and give that little princess her milk while I clean here.”

“Carol,” Carl said softly as he lingered at the door, “I really miss Sophia too, and you can talk about her with me and Judy if you want to.” 

Carol’s smile was heartbreaking, as a single tear rolled down her cheeks. “Thank you, Carl, I would like that very much.” 

The boy gave her a smile as he left her to compose herself on her own, her hands shaking and tears streaming down her face, but she felt at peace. 

.-.-.

It wasn’t like he was trying to be creepy, going up the stairs as silently as he could. But he had seen Rick and Michonne sitting on the sofa, and he was not his friend who seemed to enjoy breaking up special moments. 

Her light was still on, and her door was ajar, so he softly pushed it open, smiling when he saw that she had fallen asleep while reading. Silently he moved inside her room, the latch catching with a soft click as he closed the barrier behind him. 

“Daryl?” Carol said sleepily, her eyelids fluttering as she fought to wake up. 

“Shhhhhh,” Daryl murmured as he crouched beside her, taking her book and putting the bookmark in it’s place before closing it and setting it on top of her nightstand. “Go back to sleep.”

“You’re late.” Daryl couldn’t help but chuckle as her blue eyes met his, teasing while half asleep. 

“Sorry, ma’am.” Without even noticing, his hands had moved as if of their own accord and pulled her blanket to cover her better. 

“I can make space for you, Dixon, if you want to tuck me in better.” 

“Stop,” Daryl chuckled as he moved to stand. “Just gonna take a shower real fast.” 

“Better yet, I like my men smelling fresh and minty.”

“Stop.”

She had moved to the other side of the bed by the time he came out of her shower. He was so tired, and if the noise he heard from across the hallway was any indication the worst thing he could do right now was share a wall, the one behind the head of his bed, with Rick at the moment. 

Slowly, and keeping strictly to his side of the bed, Daryl climbed into Carol’s bed, turned off the light, and fell asleep soon after. 

None of them had any idea of what morning would bring. 

It was definitely not what it actually did. 

Carol had learned to go from fast asleep to wide awake in the blink of an eye. It was something they had all needed to learn to survive, and for both her and Daryl, it wasn’t something that was easily forgotten from  _ before _ . 

The sound of Carl’s voice woke them from their deep slumber. Daryl would later silently thank the heavens for that wake-up call, since it had helped him avoid the torture that would have been if they had needed to address their sleeping arrangement. He clearly remembered going to sleep on his side of Carol’s bed, and somehow, he had woken up using her chest as a pillow and hugging her to him like she was a giant teddy bear. 

The fact that they had ended up jumping off the bed, grabbing their guns, and sprinting out the room only to find Carl aiming his gun at the jackass they had brought in the night before? That had just given him the perfect excuse not to talk about it. 

Carol wanted nothing but to calm Daryl down; he was upset. Upset at the man sitting at their table, upset at having him roaming around their homes, upset probably at having been woken up the way he had been. And he was letting everyone know about it. 

Their eyes met briefly as she took a chair across from where he was standing with his back against the wall. He didn’t feel safe, he needed the comfort that knowing no one could jump at his back gave him. She hated the man sitting at her left a little for taking that from him. 

“I saw your arsenal,” the man, Jesus, said as he looked at Rick and then at Daryl. Daryl, who was shifting his weight from one leg to the other, anxious energy pouring off him. “I haven’t seen anything like that in a long time.”

“You’re well equipped, but your provisions are low. Very low for the amount of people you have.” Jesus was talking, but Carol’s eyes were fixed on Daryl. She was waiting for the signal that told her she would need to step in; he wanted to beat the man beside her to the ground. She wasn’t sure she was not going to let him. 

“Fifty four?”

“More now,” Maggie answered. Tense silence followed. 

“Well…” and Jesus chose the worst thing to say to try and break it. “I appreciate the cookie, my compliments to the chef.”

“Those are mine and you can take your compliments and shove them up your-”

“What Daryl means is that you better ask next time, alright?” Carol interrupted her irate counterpart before things could escalate even further. 

Jesus looked from the pissed redneck, to the innocent looking woman beside him and smirked. “Sorry, ma’am.” He looked from Rick to Daryl. “We started off on the wrong foot…” - Daryl scoffed, looking chastised when Carol shot him a look - “but we’re on the same side, on the side of the living. You and Rick had every reason to leave me out there, but you didn’t.”

“Not because I didn’t want to,” Daryl grumbled, blushing when he felt everyone’s eyes on him.

Jesus chuckled. “You wouldn’t. I come from a place that’s a lot like this one. Part of my job is to search for other settlements to trade with.” 

Daryl took a step closer to the table, looking a little less grumpy about things. “I took your truck because honestly, my community needs things, and both of you look like trouble.”

Carol tried to stifle a chuckle when Daryl glared at her. 

“I was wrong,” Jesus added, looking at Carol softly before turning to look at Rick and Daryl again. “You’re good people,” - a look at Carol and at Michonne - “and this is a good place. I think our communities are in a position to help each other.”

Carol continued to look at Daryl as they discussed the arrangements with Jesus. He still looked troubled, but he also looked hopeful. 

And she believed it. She believed in what he did, and she believed in him. 

-.-.-

It wasn’t that he was avoiding her, because he wasn’t; and he really couldn’t, as they traveled together in a fucking camper. But as he looked longingly at Rick and Michonne, he just couldn’t face her. 

He felt like a fraud, he wanted what his brother had, he wanted to have what Rick and Michonne did. He wanted it more than anything. But he was afraid, he had never let himself feel anything like what he was feeling now, and it terrified him. 

He was willing to go to the ends of the earth for her, and they were only friends. What would happen if he ever took that step? Would she even want to?

“Hey…” Daryl looked up from where he had lost himself in thought, looking at his hands. “Are you in there?” Daryl scoffed, looking down as he tried to hide behind his hair. “You should really let me cut that mane of yours, I don’t know who’s worse yours or Ca-”

Both of them looked up as the vehicle started to slow down. “Rick! What’s going on?” 

“There’s an accident, up ahead.”

“It’s one of ours!”

-.-.-.

She could see his worried look as Rick handcuffed Jesus, she knew what this was about. He worries, he always does, and always would. 

“I’ll stay out here with Maggie.” There was a look of gratitude in his eyes as he accepted her extra handgun, putting it on the back of his pants. “Go.”

Her eyes followed him as he entered the building, fearless when it came to this; so afraid when it came to matters of the heart. He had been hurt so much, just like she had. They had both lost so much, but they had found each other, and that was the most important thing. 

“This better not be a trap,” Carol growled at Jesus, as she moved him away from the door. 

“It’s not, I swear.”

In the end, there was no need to shoot anyone. They were on their way soon enough, the space being a little tighter, but nothing too bad. Daryl was stiff as a rod as he sat beside Carol; there were more people now. People he did not know, and obviously people he did not trust. His knee was jumping up and down nervously as he kept glaring at the people around him, around them. 

It wasn’t until Carol softly put a hand over his knee that he stopped; she didn’t even look at him, but her touch was enough to calm him down a little. Even just her presence was enough to calm him down so he wouldn’t do something rash and stupid. 

She had almost always been able to do that. 

“Hey,” Daryl looked up as he heard her speak, only to see that she wasn’t speaking to him. Carol had ended up sitting in between him and Abraham, and while her left hand was still resting on top of his leg, her attention was on the man at her other side. Abraham turned to look at her, and even Daryl could see the anguish in his face at whatever the stranger had been saying. Without another word, Carol moved her free hand and grasped Abraham’s, squeezing it softly while giving him a smile. 

Abraham returned her soft smile before looking at Daryl and giving him a nod. Daryl put his hand over Carol’s on his knee, glad that she was by his side. Always. 

The vehicle rolled to a stop, and Daryl couldn’t help but groan at Rick’s driving as they got stuck in the middle of the road. “Should have paid more attention to the road than to Michonne,” Daryl grumbled softly to Carol, trying not to drop his gruff expression as he heard her chuckle in response. 

“We’re here,” Jesus declared as he got up from across them and moved to open the door. One by one they got out of the RV, and looked at the walls of what was ‘The Hilltop’.

Daryl got out first, raising his arm as Carol took the small jump to avoid falling into the hole filled with mud, steadying her slightly when she slipped. 

“Good?”

“Thank you, Pookie.” There was that teasing smile on her face once again as she patted his arm and moved away. He was sure he was ten different shades of red by then, but he needed to get his head back in the game. They had a community to meet. 

It wasn’t anything impressive in Daryl’s opinion. They made sure they were armed to the teeth and they started to make their way towards the gates. The rifle in his arms felt weird, out of place; but this was not the moment to mourn the loss of his crossbow, not when his family depended on him being ready for anything. 

Carol was sure to cover his back. Daryl as usual was up front, weapon ready to protect them in case anything happened. And it was her duty to protect him, him and Maggie, since she knew he would jump in front of a bullet for either of them. 

He needed to have someone that would do the same for him. And she liked to think she was that someone. 

“Stop right there!” Weapons were drawn and Carol took her position at Daryl’s side. This was her place. 

“You gonna make us?!” Their guns never left the two men standing on top of the fence. 

“Lower your weapons, they’re with me. Freddie is hurt.” Jesus turned to them and said, “Sorry about this, guys. They get anxious standing there not doing anything all day.”

“They can come in once they give up their weapons.”

“Why don’t you come and get them?” Daryl snapped back, sneering at the men on watch. 

Carol shook her head as someone else intervened. She had a bad feeling about all this, and all she could do was to stay close to Daryl and keep him safe. She could hear Jesus talking with Rick behind her, but Daryl never lowered his gun, and so she didn’t. 

“Open the doors, Kal.” At Jesus’ order, she lowered her gun. Daryl didn’t, though, and she softly moved to rest her hand on his back, over his shoulder blade. As he lowered his gun, she could feel his muscles moving under her hand, the feel of him sending sparks up her arm. 

They followed Jesus inside, with Rick, Carol and Daryl at the front of their group. 

Carol couldn’t suppress a sharp intake of breath as she saw a man walking down a cow. Daryl’s eyes were on her quickly, the question clear in his eyes. She shook her head. “They have cows,” she said. She didn’t even try to hide the wonder in her words. Daryl rolled his eyes, huffing as he moved to grip his gun more firmly as they continued on their way in. 

The place wasn’t as impressive as Alexandria, or at least they weren’t living with the comforts that they were back home. But they had animals, they were already harvesting things, they had made a forge. In that sense they were months ahead of where they currently were back home. 

Solar panels and bullets were great things, but they needed to start planning for the future. For when they ran out of bullets and the panels no longer worked. And the Hilltop, by ending up around a nineteenth century house and stables, had done just that. 

They followed Jesus inside, and she couldn’t help but look around in wonder. She had always been interested in history, up to the point where she had gone to university to study it. But that seemed like something — just like this house — from another life. It didn’t matter now that she had been a scholar, or that she had given up everything because of Ed and later Sophia. 

She couldn’t help herself though; as they all made their way inside, her brain immediately started to catalog the things in front of her. From the furniture, to the art on the walls. She would have loved seeing this before the turn, she would have loved sharing this with Sophia and — she looked as Daryl frowned while looking at the paintings — with him. 

“People are living in here and in the trailers?” Daryl heard as Rick continued to ask Jesus questions, watching as Carol touched the furniture softly, the look on her face letting him know she was somewhere else. Somewhere in the past. She gave him a smile when she caught him looking, and he wanted to do anything in his power to keep it there. 

The doors beside him opened, and there were no other thoughts in his head other than the fact that there was yet another stranger in front of them. And one that looked sleazy as fuck, at that.

“Jesus, you’re back!”

And the man was an asshole indeed. The man, whose name was Gregory,  made them scatter away from his presence under the pretense of them getting cleaned up; and they followed Rick’s example. Daryl glared at the man, until he was able to let Carol go up the stairs, following straight after her. 

He at least could enjoy the view. And by that, he meant the small smile on her face once they were out of Gregory’s eyesight, as she looked at each of the paintings lining up the walls. It was the smile he was looking at, just that. 

It was the fact that Abraham was also looking at that same ‘smile’ which made him elbow the former sergeant in the stomach as they reached the landing. There was no need for everyone to enjoy that ‘smile’ as much as he did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi! In [ Tumblr ](http://geektaire.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your kind words, you guys rock.

**Chapter 3**

 

Carol found him outside after she had gotten cleaned up. She had waited with Michonne and Maggie, after the men had finished. Although knowing Daryl, he had just pretended to do so and escaped as soon as possible. It wasn’t like he didn’t wash, because he did. He just didn’t like the idea of people catching him in a compromising position, which was why, since he had started to use her ensuite, he had stopped avoiding showering as much as he had before. She loved him no matter how he smelled, though. 

 

“Hey,” Carol murmured as she knocked her knee against Daryl’s side, before moving to sit beside him in the shade at the side of the house. He grunted a greeting, shifting to the side a little to make room for her to join him. She sat there beside him and watched in silence, just as he had been doing. 

 

“There are fewer people than back home,” he said, and Carol tried not to smile as he called Alexandria ‘home. .“And fewer kiddies too.” 

 

“The place seems easier to protect too.”

 

Daryl made a noise of agreement, his blue eyes observing closely. Looking for things out of place, for weakness. “That prick was right though, there ain’t many fighters.”

 

“They’re vulnerable, that’s why they need the ammo,” she said, to which he nodded in answer. “It will probably come down to who needs what the most; them the ammo, or us the food.”

 

“We would have had food if that asshole hadn’t fucked it all up.” 

 

Carol patted his shoulder, trying not to rile him up against Jesus once again. She knew Daryl, and it was going to take him some time to trust their newest acquaintance.

 

Rick opened the door and whistled at them, breaking their little moment. What waited for them inside, wasn’t good news at all. 

 

Gregory had said no, and that took them back to square one. She saw Daryl’s shoulders drop in defeat as Rick accepted Jesus’ proposal, and she wanted to comfort him. He still felt guilty about the food lost the day before; she knew his mind and how it worked. In his mind, everything was his responsibility, and every failure was his failure alone. 

 

The arrival of the missing party broke their little meeting. And everything went to shit after that. 

 

As Carol stood in the middle of the yard, looking at Rick covered in blood pointing his gun at Jesus’ head, she wondered if their leader had really come back from it all. She had been worrying so much about what she had had to do to stay safe, to keep her family safe, that she had blocked what everyone else had needed to do. 

 

Rick could have stopped the man without killing him, but he had seen no other way out. Seeing that, was a sobering moment for her. She wasn’t like that, every man she had needed to kill, every woman; had been because there was no other choice. There wasn’t. 

 

It wasn’t like Rick enjoyed it, but he was sure as hell freer with his killing than she could ever be. She never wanted to get to that point. And she knew she wouldn’t; she would first leave them all behind rather than forget that life is precious. Precious enough to kill those that truly threatened, but precious in the end. 

 

“You okay?” Daryl asked her softly, as the people around them moved to help the injured. Carol nodded sharply, her eyes still on the dead man on the ground, on the woman crying over him. “Hey...” Daryl’s hand touched hers, and she finally moved her eyes to his, “you okay?”

 

“Got to be.” 

 

He scoffed at her answer, squeezing her hand softly before he moved away to help Abraham up. He was back at her side sooner than she expected. “The crazy son of a bitch is fucking laughing, as if he hadn’t been about to fucking die.”

 

“To each his own, Pookie, to each his own.”

 

In the end, they had a deal. They were going to take on this group, The Saviors, and because of that the Hilltop would give them enough food for the time being. Food and “one of them cows,” as Daryl put it. Carol helped carry the supplies they were given, as Daryl went off to get the man who would take them to Negan’s compound. 

 

She would have to talk to him later; not right then, but later. She had a really bad feeling about the whole thing, and she just wanted to run it by him. 

 

“Did you ask for the cow for me?” Carol teased Daryl as he dropped on the bench beside her, chuckling as he avoided her eyes. “You didn’t have to.”

 

Daryl rolled his eyes, as he picked at the hole on the knee of his pants. “Are you sure you’re up to this?” They had talked about it, about her guilt over what had happened, about what she’d had to do for their family. What they had all had to do. 

 

His voice was low, and he looked around before he moved nearer to her, an arm over the back of the seat, allowing her to be closer. This was something between them. No one else’s opinions mattered but theirs. 

 

“As you said — ” Carol swatted the hand that was making the hole in his knee bigger with his fidgeting, before moving to grip his hand tightly, “ — sometimes killing is the only option, and our family has to survive.  _ You _ have to survive.”

 

His head was ducked, so when she looked up his blue eyes were right there. There was barely any space between them, and she knew that if she moved to close that space, he would let her. “ _ We _ have to survive.” His whispered words made her shudder, and her breathing quicken. She felt, more than saw because they were so close, as she started to move forward. 

 

The sound of Rick slamming the RV’s door closed made the two of them aware of where they were sitting. And both looked away, blushing.  

 

Carol noticed that he didn’t put his arm down, allowing her to settle better against his side as they started to move. She watched with a smile on her face as Glenn looked in wonder at the sonogram in his hand; he looked utterly mesmerized. 

 

It wasn’t until Michonne passed the picture to Daryl, who moved it so she could see it too that she noticed that his arm had left the back of the bench and was now around her shoulders. He knew what seeing the picture in his hand would do to her, and in his own little way he let her know he understood, and that he was there. 

 

“That’s the baby,” Carol said softly and only for him as she traced the small shade on the picture. “It’s really small right now, and it looks more like a bean than a baby, but that’s Maggie and Glenn’s baby.” Her voice broke at the last word, and she felt as he hugged her closer to him. Her eyes met Maggie’s and they shared a smile. 

 

She turned and laid her head against his chest, and the sound of his strong heartbeat under her ear lulled her to sleep. They had a lot of work to do, but for now, they were safe and together. And nothing could touch them as long as things stayed that way. 

  
  


-.-.-.

 

Daryl glared at Glenn when he wiggled his eyebrows at him, as they both had their women sleeping against them on the way back The smirk on Glenn’s face meant trouble, meant he was going to get teased by the younger man until he couldn’t take it anymore. But he was done running, he was done letting things like embarrassment and their past hold them back. He was not willing to go back to the place they had been before, he was not going to give her up. Not for anything. 

 

Daryl watched as Glenn woke Maggie up, and tried to look like he wasn’t following his example as he woke Carol up. 

 

“I want you to pass the word around, I want everyone to meet us in the church in an hour,” Rick said from the front, looking over his shoulder at them as he waited for the gates to be opened. “We’re letting everyone know of the plan, so you all know what to do.” 

 

Since they were living in the same house as Rick, they were the last ones to be dropped off. The mood was contemplative, no one saying much as they scattered around to get changed and get ready. They were going to war. 

 

When Daryl came down again, he found the house empty. There was no Judith babbling away, no Carl and his damned ball, not even Michonne and Rick being a pain in his ass. And there was no Carol either. 

 

They had left early that morning, which had disrupted their routines. And there was one routine he knew Carol stood by. Not a day passed that she didn’t visit Sam’s grave. There was a sense of urgency on those visits too, as if the boy would miss her if she didn’t visit. He hurried his pace as he saw Morgan walk through the trees which led them to the cemetery.

 

He stopped for a moment as he heard Carol saying something too low for him to hear from where he was standing, followed closely by Morgan raising his voice enough for it to travel to him. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell Rick?” 

 

Daryl growled as he overheard Morgan daring to ask that to Carol, and appeared suddenly behind him. “Because you forget, she told me.” 

 

He was expecting Morgan’s reaction, so he ducked in time to let the surprised man’s staff fly over his head before he pushed him with all his strength. Daryl’s chest was heaving as he sneered down at the man in front of him, “I thought I had made it very clear? You don’t talk to her, you don’t look at her, you don’t even dare to breathe around her.”

 

Morgan stood up, using his staff as support to do so. He refused to look at Daryl, who took a step to the side to keep himself between Morgan and Carol, not even letting him look at her. Morgan looked away, nodding before turning on his heel and leaving.   

 

Daryl took a deep breath, tightening his fists to try and get his hands to stop shaking as he forced himself to calm down. He didn’t want her to see him like this, even though she had seen him like this millions of times by now. She was still dealing with everything, and she didn’t deserve to have to deal with his bad temper too. 

 

Carol chuckled softly when Daryl startled as she ran her hand down his arm, to his closed fist. Her small hand — so fragile looking beside his thicker ones — covered his fist, feeling as he started to relax his grip as the seconds passed. 

 

“What did he say?” Daryl turned, opening his hand until he was able to clasp her hand in his; as they both looked down at Sam’s grave, at the cookie on top of it that she took the care to place every week. 

 

“Not much, you got here in time.” Carol started walking away from the gravesite, and towards the church. “My hero.”

 

Daryl chuckled, shaking his head as he did so. “Stop.”

 

-.-.

 

Rick nodded to them as they walked in, taking a seat in the second row in front of Tara and Denise. Carol patted Daryl’s thigh as he sprawled down on the bench, rolling her eyes when he sprawled even more. 

 

The door closed behind the last person in — Morgan — to whom Daryl mock saluted. Rick started his spiel; that they had gone to the new community, and had made a deal. The deal could potentially kill them, but so would not actually making it because they had no food. And Rick was right, these “Saviors” would come for them, sooner or later. 

 

Carol felt Daryl tense up as Rick asked for objections; she could feel his hand, which was resting behind her on the bench, move slightly so he could touch her back, as if reminding himself that even after everything Morgan had done to her, she was still there with him. They both knew Morgan was going to object, but yet Carol couldn’t help but grip Daryl’s thigh as they all heard him stand up in the back. 

 

Daryl turned to glare at Morgan, but Carol kept her eyes up front. Jesus gave her a small smile which she returned. Daryl might want to sock that man often, but he didn’t seem all that bad in her books. He was at least reasonable. 

 

“You’re sure we can do it? That we can beat them?” Morgan asked behind her and Carol refused to turn to look at him. Daryl seemed ready to stand and go beat him up again; she could tell from just how tense he was. 

 

“What this group has done, what we’ve learned, what we’ve become — ” Carol dropped her head as Rick continued to talk, closing her eyes tightly as unwanted memories started to flash in front of her eyes. 

 

Seeing Sophia walk out of that barn. Mika’s dead body on the grass. Lizzie crying as she pointed a gun to the back of her head. Sam’s tiny arms around her waist as he tried to hide from his father. Blowing up Terminus. Watching as the wolves killed their neighbors, killing without stopping to think of anything else. It all came back at once. 

 

“ — all of us? Yes, I’m sure.” Rick finished, 

 

Morgan said something in response to Rick, but she wasn’t listening anymore. Her chest felt tight and she wasn’t sure if she could continue to draw breath. “You need to breathe,” Daryl murmured into her ear. She felt him gripping her hand as his chest was plastered to her side. He was trying not to bring attention to them, failing fantastically when he noticed that Jesus was looking at them with worry. “I’m here.” He rested the side of his face against the crown of her head, closing his eyes and trying to breathe slowly once he noticed she was trying to copy him. 

 

“Sorry,” Carol whispered as she moved back a little, raising her face and giving him a sad smile. Daryl didn’t say anything, just rolled his eyes at her. She did notice though, that he was sitting a little straighter, and his arm was still around her shoulders. 

 

It was Morgan’s next words that seemed to break the spell completely. “They always come back.”

 

“We’ll take care of the walkers,” Rick said dismissively. 

 

“I’m not talking about the walkers.” 

 

The only sound in the room was of Carol’s heavy breathing. Daryl started to stand up the moment she did, but the hand on his shoulder stopped him. As he looked up at Carol, he could see her strength, but also her pain. And his chest clenched at the amount of both he saw in her. 

 

“You’re wrong, Morgan,” Carol said as she turned to look at him, “you have been wrong since you got here, and the worst part is that you don’t want to see it.”

 

“Killing is not the answer.”

 

“What would have happened, if your mistake, if your stubbornness had killed Denise that night? Would you carry Carl’s life in your hands? Would you take responsibility for that?”

 

“Carol?” Rick asked, as he took a step closer to where she was standing, stopping only at the look she gave him. 

 

“We don’t have to do this, Carol.” Morgan said raising his voice. “You don’t like doing it, there’s no need to do it.”

 

“That’s where you are wrong,” Carol’s voice shook, as tears broke her words. “We have to do it. It’s true, I don’t like doing it, and I wish we didn’t have to. But there are times — like the wolves — when there’s no other option.”

 

“These people haven’t done anything to us yet!”

 

“Yes they have!” Everyone jumped as they heard Carol raise her voice, for some of them this being the first time they had ever heard her scream at anyone. “They already have! They tried to take Daryl, and Sasha, and Abraham from us! They would have killed them!”

 

“You don’t know that!”

 

“Abe?” Abraham seemed to sit up straighter as Carol’s eyes and attention turned to him, “Please tell Morgan what the man you met on the road told you, verbatim if you can.”

 

“I would rather not, ma’am — ” Abraham gave Carol a pointed look “ — ladies present and all.”

 

“A summary then, we need our friend here to get an idea of what’s happening out there.” Carol had turned to look again at Morgan, her eyes cold. 

 

“Said they introduce themselves by killing someone from the community — ”

 

“That’s what they did to us, killed a sixteen year old boy without provocation,” Jesus interrupted, getting a nod as a ‘thank you’ from Carol. 

 

“And that we needed to take them back to where we came from. When we started trying to come to an arrangement they pulled their guns on us, and if it hadn’t been for this crazy redneck son of a bitch and his motherfucking rocket launcher, we would have never made it back.” Abraham looked at Carol. “Ma’am.”

 

“Thank you, Abraham.” Carol took a deep breath, letting her eyes linger on the people around them, on Rick, before returning to Morgan. “I don’t enjoy killing. And, yes, there are cases where it can be avoided. But people like that? People that associate with men who beat a sixteen year old child to death with a baseball bat? Just to make a point? Those people do not deserve the benefit of the doubt.”

 

Morgan swallowed heavily as he looked down, before sitting at once. Carol was breathing hard again, as she moved to sit down beside Daryl once more. Her heart was racing, and her hands were shaking. Yet it felt like she had lifted a weight off her chest by doing that, and she knew there were going to be more questions than before, but she had gotten that out of the way. 

 

No man would ever have that type of power over her. 

 

“Carol is right,” Rick added after clearing his throat to try and dissipate the uncomfortable silence which had befallen them. “These type of people are not going to negotiate with us, so the idea is that we hit them first, and we hit them hard. But we have to make this decision together. Who else thinks we should talk to the Saviors first?”

 

Daryl glared at Aaron as he suddenly stood up, as if daring him to speak against Carol,  _ his  _ Carol. Aaron shook his head at him, before turning to look at Rick. “What happened here, we won’t let that happen again.” He turned to look at Daryl and Carol, acknowledging them both. “If it hadn’t been for Carol’s quick thinking, there wouldn’t have been a community to get back to, so I’m not going to let that happen again. I won’t.”

 

Aaron gave Daryl a small smile and a nod which he returned. His partner was on their side, and that was something Daryl would not forget anytime soon. Having friends other than his family was something new for him, and he was learning every day. But he was glad he had Aaron in his life, that he had Eric as well.

“Seems like it’s settled,” Rick’s eyes never left Morgan’s. “We know what this is. We don’t shy from it, we live. We don’t all have to kill — ” Daryl found Carol’s hand, entwining their fingers “ — but those that are staying here, they have to accept it.”

 

The doors slammed behind Rick as he made his dramatic exit. The sound of voices started to be heard as people began to move out of the church. There were things to plan, people to see. Yet Carol and Daryl didn’t make a move. 

 

Jesus was one of the last to leave, the sound of the door closing behind him echoing around the two of them. 

 

“Proud of you,” Daryl murmured, voice still soft, low, even if they were the only two people left. “That asshole needs to keep his mouth shut, if he’s not willing to lose a couple of teeth the next time.”  

 

“Don’t fight because of me,” Carol answered, her eyes on the cross at the back of the church. “Not worth it.”

 

Daryl snorted, shaking his head as he started to get up. “Not worth it,” he mumbled to himself chuckling at the stupidity of the words, as he moved out of the pew and towards the middle aisle. Carol didn’t move though, she continued to look at the cross, nothing but sadness visible in her face right then. 

 

“C’mon,” he murmured as he stood looking down at her, just before he extended his hand to her. “It’s getting late, we need to get ready for tomorrow.”

 

When Carol didn’t move, Daryl didn’t either. She seemed lost in her thoughts, the fierceness she had showed when she had stood up and talked Morgan down, seemed to have disappeared completely behind the sadness and hopelessness that poured out of her. 

 

“Hey,” Daryl said as he finally moved to sit next to her again, “talk to me.” It had taken time, two months of fighting against each other, and against themselves, to get to where they were right then. They both had lived hard lives, and they both had learned the worst way possible that opening up, letting people in, caused pain. 

 

But this time around, after he had found her that night two months ago, he had bulldozed his way through her walls and hadn’t allowed her to erect them with him on the other side. He was on her side, and always would be. And if she needed to talk, then he would listen. 

“We’re going to kill them.” There was no doubt in her words, but they were not devoid of emotion. It was then he noticed silent tears were running down her cheeks. He didn’t move to cradle her into his arms as he itched to do; he just continued to sit beside her, shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh. She wasn’t breaking down, she was standing strong. And he would stand strong beside her as long as she allowed him to.

 

“We are.”

 

Carol sighed at his answer. She knew it needed to happen, but that didn’t mean all the years where religion was ingrained into her head didn’t play games with her. She didn’t enjoy it; she didn’t like killing. But she knew it was needed. 

 

“You can stay here,” Daryl murmured as he looked down, at where his hands were resting against his knees. His right knee started to bounce nervously, unable to raise his eyes to look at Carol. “You don’t have to.” 

 

“And leave you to get your crazy but cute redneck ass into trouble? Think again, Dixon.” 

 

Daryl snorted, finally raising his head to find her looking at him, a smirk on his face. He knew he was probably ten different shades of red by then, but he just shook his head. “As if you’re any better.”

 

The side of her mouth dropped, and she sighed just before dropping her forehead against his shoulder. “I can do this, I have to.”

 

“You don’t have to. You don’t.” He repeated his words from before, and for him they were true. She had done enough for one lifetime, and if she wanted to stay safe here taking care of Judith and Carl? He would make sure she was able to. 

 

“Where you go, I go, that simple.” Her hand had moved to grip his tightly and when he turned to look at her, he suddenly found her face to be closer than he expected. “Daryl-”

 

“Daryl! Rick needs you!” 

 

Carol groaned, laughing as she dropped her forehead against Daryl’s shoulder once again. “For fucks sake,” Daryl muttered against the top of her head as they heard Glenn yelling for him. “It’s like he’s doing it on purpose.”

 

“Did you have any plans, Dixon?” Carol was still chuckling as she stood up. The smile on her face making him almost break into one. Her eyes were still red from crying, her face blotchy, tear tracks still on her cheeks. And yet, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

  
“One of this days, I’m gonna do the same to him.” Carol barked out a laugh as she heard Daryl’s muttered words, still laughing as she moved past him and out of the church, certain he was coming with her. There was no doubt on that. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 

Even if they had barely stopped all day, even if when she went to bed she was dead tired and about to nod off over her dinner, when the time came for her to sleep, it just wouldn’t come. 

 

The same thoughts just ran through her mind, over and over and over again. She knew what the next day would entail, knew what she would have to do. And her stomach churned at the thought. 

 

She had cried until she had no more tears after she had had to put Karen and David down. Karen was so out of it she hadn’t even noticed; she had been gasping for breath as blood came out of every orifice in her body. David hadn’t been any better. She had cried all the way as she’d dragged them to the inner courtyard, cried as she’d set them on fire, cried as she had gone to take a shower and get rid of all the blood. 

 

She had cried with Lizzie as well. 

 

Carol sighed as she pushed off her blankets and sat up in bed. There was no way she was going to get any sleep tonight. Her mind continued to wander as she got out of bed and started to get ready. It was still the middle of the night, but she needed to find something to do. 

 

She knew the rest of the people living in the house — Rick, Michonne and Daryl — were still getting all the information they were going to need from the guy at the Hilltop. But she had been exhausted, and Daryl had talked her into going home to get some rest. She had faith in their abilities, whatever they came up with, and she also knew Daryl would run it by her with enough time for her to chime in with any ideas if needed. 

 

Leaving the house felt like being set free. She hadn’t noticed how claustrophobic her room was feeling until she got out of the house. The sound of the crickets in the night chasing her dark thoughts away. She started walking away from the house, with the intention of doing a full circuit, and maybe by the time she was done, she would be able to catch the rest of the guys leaving the tactical meeting. 

 

Sometimes she hated  how dependent she had become on them. On  _ him _ . To chase the bad thoughts away, those feelings of inadequacy that tried to consume her when she least expected them to. If it had been a normal night, she would have gone, knocked on Daryl’s door, and found herself comforted just by entering his sanctuary. 

 

Carol pulled out a pack of cigarettes she had stolen from Daryl, took out one and lit it. She walked on as she watched the smoke disappear.

 

“Those things will kill you.” Carol frowned as she looked at where the voice was coming from, to see one of the Alexandrians, Tobin, sitting on the steps that lead to his home. 

 

Carol rolled her eyes, she did not feel like talking with people she barely knew. And after the thing with the wolves, her cover had been blown and there was no need for her to pretend anymore. 

 

“You got another one?” Tobin asked just as she was about to walk past him. Carol stopped to look at him before looking at the cigarette in her hand. 

 

“Nope.” It was a lie, she had an almost-full pack on her, but they were hers and Daryl’s. And she was not willing to share something that was  _ theirs _ , with anyone else. With a nod, she continued her walk, the light becoming more scarce as she walked further away from the house.

 

A moment later she heard the hurried steps of Tobin as he jogged up to catch up, and she tried to stifle the groan of annoyance that came with him. She didn’t want to talk to anyone; she just wanted to walk around the safe zone, get some air and maybe, if she was lucky, get to walk Daryl home and tease him enough until he blushed. 

 

She did not want to have to make nice with people she barely knew. 

 

“Do you need anything?” Carol internally cringed at how mean she sounded, but maybe it was hanging out with Daryl so much, who was unapologetically direct, or maybe it was just being tired of pretending, but she didn’t care much about being polite lately. 

 

“Are you going there tomorrow?” 

 

Carol didn’t stop walking as Tobin asked his question. She made a face at the stupidity of it, since it was obvious that she was going to be part of it. All of them were, all those who could fight. “Yes.”

 

They continued to walk at a fast pace, at Carol’s pace. She only seemed to start to slow down once she saw the light of the house they were using as a meeting room shine through the night. It was as if just knowing that her people were in there calmed her whole system down. 

 

“I’m worried about tomorrow,” Tobin spoke again, making Carol stop and turn to look at him. 

 

“Why? You’re not going.” 

 

“Because I worry about you.” 

 

Carol chuckled and turned around, continuing towards the house. “You don’t know me, Tobin.”

 

“You can do things, things that just scare the shit out of me.” Carol’s steps faltered once again, as Tobin’s words registered in her head. She had done things, things that to this day still scared the shit out of her, things she never thought she would be able to do. Things she had never wanted to do. 

 

“How?” Her question was not clear, she wasn’t sure if she was asking how those things scared him, how she was able to do those things, or how he had found out about them. 

 

“You’re a mom.”

 

Her back was still to him as he said those words, and she just dropped her head. She could feel her breathing starting to become difficult just at the thought of all the kids she had lost. Sophia, Mika, Lizzie… Sam. “I was.”

 

“You are…” Tobin’s big hand touched her shoulder, making her turn to face him. “It’s not the cookies, it’s not the smiles. It’s the hard stuff, it’s the terrifying things. It’s how you can do it.”

 

She was not looking at him. She was not going to let him see how his words were tearing at a part of her that Daryl and her family had slowly started to put back together. She was a mother without her children, and that was one of the worst things you could ever be. Because her instincts were there, it had almost been two years but she still sometimes would wake up looking for Sophia. Or she would smell something and think she would like it. Sometimes, even after all that time, she was still looking for her daughter. 

 

She was a mother without her children. 

 

“You’re a mom to most of the people here-”

 

“Sure as hell ain’t mine.” Carol’s head snapped up towards where Daryl was walking down the steps from the house they had been meeting in, shouldering his crossbow as he glared at Tobin. 

 

“I meant-”

 

“Don’t care,” Daryl said as he reached Carol’s side. He looked down at her, saw her avoiding eye contact, and looked back at Tobin. “Fuck off, lumberjack, before I fucking make you.” 

 

Daryl didn’t even wait to see what Tobin’s response would be; he threw an arm around Carol’s shoulders, pulling her close as he turned both of them around and started walking away from Tobin; and away from their house, towards the more remote part of the safe zone. 

 

The silence between them was not suffocating, it was something that was just  _ them _ . It was comforting, it was familiar. They didn’t need words sometimes, to express what they were feeling. And she was in pain, he wasn’t sure if she had been already in pain before speaking with the asshole in flannel, but he had said something which had brought the pain to the surface that they had been fighting to contain. 

 

And it couldn’t be at a worse time. 

 

He didn’t say anything, neither of them did, as they continued to walk in the dark. He knew where he was taking them, though, and he came to a stop under a big oak tree which was close, but not dangerously close, to one of the walls. 

 

Without saying anything, he sat at its base, pulling at her hand until she sat beside him. And he waited, he waited as he would always do for her to feel comfortable enough to let him know what was going on. The time for pushing had long passed, he was already inside her walls, so now he just needed to wait. 

 

He didn’t shudder anymore when she moved and rested her head on his shoulder, not as he would have when they started their friendship. She didn’t tense up when he took her hand and entwined their fingers, caressing the back of her hand softly as he waited. 

 

“I was coming to find you, because I couldn’t sleep.” Her voice was soft, the sound of crickets around them so loud it almost drowned her out. “They just keep on messing with my head, I can see their faces as soon as I close my eyes… and it just hurts.”

 

Daryl rested his head against hers, not knowing what to say to make her feel better, but knowing that she needed to get it all out. That by talking she was allowing herself to feel it. And by feeling, she was allowing herself to heal. 

 

“He kept on saying that I’m a mother, and that’s why I can do these terrifying things-” Carol paused to take a breath - “but I don’t feel like a mother most of the time, I feel like a monster. Only a monster could kill one of her own children like I did.” 

 

“Hey,” Daryl said as he moved so he could look at her in the face, and unsurprisingly she was crying. “You were a great mom, you tried your best, you did.” He grabbed her by the shoulders, squeezing them to try and convey his point. “I saw you with Sophia, I saw you with those little girls. You are not a monster, you never could be.”

 

“I killed her, I killed Lizzie, and Mika… I killed Sophia.” 

 

Carol’s chest heaved as she sobbed into her hands, and Daryl couldn’t do anything but haul her onto his lap and bring her face into his neck. He was hugging her as close as he was able to, his chest constricting as he fought tears himself. 

 

“You didn’t,” he repeated over and over again as he tried to do anything he could to calm her down. “You were the best mama to those girls, it wasn’t your fault, none of it was.” He just kept repeating the words, as she continued to cry into his chest. 

 

He didn’t know how long it took for her to calm down, how long they sat together under the oak tree as she cried for her lost daughters. But he sat there with her, as her sentinel, as her guardian, keeping the danger at bay as she let herself feel everything. 

 

“Sorry,” Carol muttered several long minutes later. Her arms had moved to clutch him to her, and she didn’t move her head from his chest as she apologized. 

 

“That’s what I’m here for.”

 

“To get snot all over your shirt and chest?” There was a little of her old humor in her words, and Daryl couldn’t help but chuckle. 

 

“If that’s what you need me for? Yes.” 

 

Carol chuckled in return, settling into his chest once more. Her breathing was calm once again, and they enjoyed the sounds of the night together. They would need to go to sleep soon, the next day would bring a lot of unknown things. But Daryl decided they could wait a few moments more… just a few minutes more. 

 

-.-.-

 

They stayed close as the last preparations were being completed, choosing to ride together in one of the vehicles, with Aaron and Tara, rather than in the RV with the rest. Carol was still not feeling up to a big crowd, and they trusted both Tara and Aaron. 

 

Daryl also was not willing to ride with Jesus, the prick still owed him a couple of jabs that he was waiting to collect. 

 

The RV stopped in front of them, and they did the same behind it. They all made a face as Rick and Heath in the car behind them started honking. The need for silence had been ingrained in their minds for so long, that going against it was just painful. 

 

Aaron and Tara got off the back seat, and Carol gave Daryl a smile as she turned to open her door.

 

“Hey,” Daryl said as his hand grabbed her wrist fast, keeping her inside for a little longer. “Be safe.”

 

“Nine lives, remember?” They shared a smile at their little inside joke. Carol moved her arm so she could take his hand instead. “You too, be safe.”

 

He gave her a half smile before they both moved to leave the cars and join the others, it was showtime. 

 

It felt weird to be away from each other, but they had been separated for a reason and they each had a job to do in the mission. Still it felt weird to walk around, looking for walkers with someone else but Carol at his side. 

Daryl looked over his shoulder, and saw as Rosita stalked her way to Carol. Rosita hadn’t looked her usual self in the morning, and neither Carol nor anyone in their car had known the reason for that. But she was a good shot, so he returned to his duties knowing that the two women could well handle themselves out there. 

 

“I’m glad you stood up to Morgan, yesterday at the meeting,” Rosita rambled to Carol as she joined her on the side of the road. “I was about to do it, if you hadn’t.”

 

“It was needed,” Carol sighed as she looked around. “I might not have told Rick what he did, because then Denise would get heat too, but he knows that he has to stop with his bull.”

 

“ _ Ese hijo de puta _ is lucky that Daryl didn’t kill him.” Carol observed Rosita, how angry she was, how her hands were shaking lightly. “I’m just saying, he’s lucky.”

 

“Hey-” Carol stopped Rosita with a hand on her arm as she moved to walk past her, “are you alright? Did something happen?”

 

Rosita looked at everywhere but at Carol, looking up at the sky in a way Carol was well aware was a tactic to try and keep her tears at bay. “Hey,” Carol murmured as she put a hand on the younger woman’s shoulder and brought her close, “It’ll be alright.”

 

“I don’t think it’s ever going to be alright again,” Rosita whispered as she allowed her arms to surround Carol in a soft hug, “I love him.” 

 

“Rosita, listen to me,” Carol moved back putting a hand on each of her cheeks, looking into her eyes. “No man is worth your tears, no man who hurts you like this is worth it.”

 

The girl — who was just a girl compared to Carol — nodded as she moved to wipe away the few tears which had escaped her eyes. She took a deep breath, before she jumped in place a few times as if trying to shake the feelings off. Carol watched with fondness as she walked away and into the woods. That was a brave young woman who Abraham had thrown away. 

 

Her eyes zeroed in on the next young woman who was in her path, and the next one she had to speak with. Maggie was standing by one of the trucks, Carol knew what she needed to do, but she wasn’t sure how the other woman was going to take it. But she knew she at least had to try. 

 

The groaning of a walker made her go back to her post, after all she was supposed to be a look out. She was going to speak with Maggie before things went down. She  _ had _ to talk to her. There was no other choice. 

 

It didn’t take them long to come back. Daryl nodded at her as he jumped up to sit on the hood of the truck, and she silently made her way to rest her side against the same truck. Her hand moved to wrap around his boot, and she rested her shoulder against his leg as they waited for Rick to start talking. 

 

She knew what he was going to say, Daryl had already briefed her  on the plans after their walk the night before. It was risky and bold, and a lot of people were going to die this night. She just hoped with all her heart that none of them suffered the consequences. 

 

“Maggie,” Carol said as soon as Rick finished his speech, knowing in her heart she needed to say something or she would regret it later. She had to talk to her before things got worse, before something bad happened. “Can I talk to you?”

 

The younger woman frowned, but nodded and moved away from the truck. Carol gave Daryl a nod, before following her far enough that they could have some privacy, that they could speak freely with everything said and done staying between them. 

 

“What are you doing here, Maggie?” Carol’s voice was soft, as she tried to get Maggie to meet her eyes. “Why are you risking yourself like this?”

 

“We started this, we have to finish it.” Maggie tried to sound convinced, but Carol could detect a slight waver on her voice. 

 

“We’ll do it. You don’t have to.” 

 

“I do!” Both of them lowered their heads as the people closest to them turned to stare in their direction. Glenn and Daryl shared a look just before Glenn started to walk towards them. 

 

“You really don’t.” Carol turned on her feet and left Maggie behind, just as Glenn arrived at her side. It was Maggie’s decision in the end, but it was a stupid decision at that. Her hands were shaking as she continued on her way away from the trucks and the rest of their group. She needed to regroup, she needed to think. 

 

She found a tree with a low branch, jumping up a little to sit on it. She rested her back against the trunk, put both feet on the branch, and sighed as she closed her eyes. It was silent enough that she would probably hear if anything tried to get the jump on her so she allowed herself to breathe a little. She didn’t realize how long that ‘little’ was until she opened her eyes again, to find that the sun had started to set. 

 

She also found Daryl sitting on the same branch she was, a feet away from her, smoking as he kept watch over her. “How long have you been there?” 

 

Dary smirked at her. “Long enough to kill all the walkers you attracted with your awful snoring.” He snorted as she poked him in the ribs with her foot. Carol chuckled too, moving to sit with her feet on the ground. Without a word, Daryl passed her the cigarette he was smoking, and she took a puff. 

 

“I’m going to stay outside...” Neither of them looked at each other, both looking as everyone started to get the last details together. “If Maggie is going to be stubborn with risking her life-”

 

“You’re going to be just as stubborn with protecting it.”

 

There were no more words needed between them; they kept passing the cigarette back and forth, with Daryl putting it out when they were done. Silently they moved closer to the others, but a few yards before joining everyone Daryl stopped her with a hand on her arm. 

 

His eyes said everything that needed to be said, and Carol just nodded at him. They had said their peace before getting out of the vehicles; they both knew what they had to do. 

 

-*-*-*-*

 

Almost everything had gone as it should have. _ Almost. _

 

“We have a Carol, and a Maggie. I think that’s something you might want to chat about.”

 

The moment Daryl heard those words coming out of the walkie, he felt like he was dying. His heart seemed to seize, and he felt dizzy. In two steps he  grabbed the man he had knocked off his bike from the ground, noticing that Glenn was right there with him and the two of them had him at gunpoint. 

 

He was going to get her back, there was no other option. 

 

He heard her voice through the com and he pressed the barrel of the gun harder against the man’s temple. 

 

“If something happens to her — ” Daryl had to stop and swallow when he felt his throat close up — “If something happens to her, you're going to wish you were dead.”

 

Glenn nodded beside him, both men knew that if anything happened to their women they would burn the world to the ground. If their woman didn’t burn it down first, though. 

 

Rick pulled him again when his finger started getting twitchy, he wanted to blow the man’s brains out, but he knew he had a job to do. He had to find his woman. 

 

“We’ll start on the outside, Daryl… Daryl!”

 

He could hear Rick calling out his name in the back of his head, but he was too busy looking for tracks. They had been close enough to see them, to have a good signal on those walkies; that meant they couldn’t have been far way. 

 

That meant he had a chance to find their tracks and get them before it was too late. He didn’t even pay attention to whom was following him as he ran into the forest. It took him about ten minutes, ten minutes which felt like hours to him. 

 

There was blood on the grass;  he growled when he heard Rick stumble with their prisoner behind them. “There were four of them, plus Maggie and Carol.” He stood up from where he had been crouching down. “One of them is injured; they went that way.”

 

Again, he didn’t wait to see what Rick did. He was a man on a mission, and he wasn’t going to let them get further away from them. 

 

Glenn almost tripped over him when he suddenly stopped and crouched. 

 

“Did you lose them?” Glenn asked anxiously as he looked behind them, towards where they had left Rick organizing everyone. 

 

A chuckle was his answer. “Clever girl,” Daryl muttered to himself as he noticed the deeper tracks on the muddier part of the track.  “Carol is leading us to them, come on!”

 

Again he didn’t wait to see who was behind him, or if anyone actually was. He just took off, following the tracks his woman had made for him. She knew he was going to find her, he was going to find her and they would be just fine.

 

He didn’t even stop when he hit the road, there were mud tracks from where their vehicles had been parked which showed him in what direction they had driven off. He just ran. 

 

He ran and he ran, and he only stopped because he heard a car coming up behind him. His rifle ready, he turned with his finger in his trigger ready to open fire; only to see that Rick was the one driving the pickup truck. He didn’t even wait for them to fully stop, in one jump he was on the truck bed and Rick was already speeding up. 

 

He had to keep himself from shooting the man who Gabriel and Rosita were keeping between them, gagged and tied up as Rick continued to drive down the road. 

 

“Rick’s gotten in contact with them once again,” Rosita yelled to him over the sound of the wind on their ears. “We’re getting close.” 

 

Daryl nodded, kicking the man’s legs once as he moved to stand on the bed of the truck to look forward. Everything was shaking, his hands, his legs. But he held on strong, his eyes searching, searching for any clues Carol might have left them. 

 

And there they were. 

 

“Rick!” Daryl yelled, as he slammed his hand on the roof of the cabin, grunting when Rick suddenly stopped. He leaned over the driver’s side, “There! There’s smoke!” 

 

The tires screeched as Rick took off once again, making Daryl stagger a little before turning and sitting down glaring at their prisoner. He had no idea how much time had passed, maybe an hour at the most. But he knew what could happen in an hour. What could happen in just seconds. 

 

Carol had to be alright, there was no other option. 

 

It took them probably another ten minutes for them to get to the Saviors’ safehouse. There was smoke coming out of the chimney. He was the first one down, and him and Glenn didn’t wait for everyone else to join them. They shared a look as they raised their rifles and pushed forward,  their backs covered by Gabriel and Rosita. They had their ladies to rescue.

 

The complex had probably been  abandoned well before the walkers started rising, the place was old and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand. But the two of them pushed forward, until they found a closed sliding door. With a nod, Daryl lowered his gun and slid it open. 

He felt like the air returned into his lungs as he saw Carol standing there in front of him. “Are you okay?” He was in front of her in two steps, his free hand on her shoulder as he pulled her to him. “We followed your trail.” 

 

He worried when she couldn’t seem to meet his eyes, her face down as he pulled her into his arms. “You’re my clever girl, you knew I would find you,” he murmured into her hair as he ran his hands up and down her back. 

 

“Hey,” he pulled back when she didn’t seem to return his embrace. Daryl put his hand under her chin. “You good?” 

 

He didn’t even need her to say anything, as soon as she finally looked into his eyes, he knew the answer. “Come here,” Daryl said softly as he pulled her into his arms, swaying from one side to the other softly, like he did whenever Judith got fussy. 

 

Slowly, he felt as she responded to his motions, her arms wrapping around his back and pulling him as close as she was able to as she burrowed her face on his neck. “I want to go home.” 

 

Her words were barely audible to his ears, and he felt his heart break at the way they sounded coming from her. 

 

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Daryl murmured as he started guiding them away from where Rick was already threatening the prisoner. He looked back over her head, as they walked past the door, only to see Rick point his gun straight to the man’s head. 

 

“We’re getting out of here.” His arms tightened around her as she jumped when the lone shot was heard. 

 

He had Carol already settled against him on the bed of the truck by the time everyone came back. She hadn’t say anything, but they didn’t need words most of the time. He had her sitting sideways in between his legs, her face was still hidden against his neck as he ran his hands up and down her back. 

 

At least her breathing was back to normal, and he couldn’t help but shudder when one of her hands made its way to his open shirt collar and to his chest. Glenn and Maggie took the free space in the cabin, while Gabriel and Rosita once again climbed in the back with them. 

 

It didn’t feel as far on the way back. Sooner than expected, they were back where all their cars were, and he was gently pushing the still silent Carol so she could get off the bed of the truck and to the back of the car which had brought them there. 

 

They didn’t talk to anyone, he just pulled her close as soon as they were inside the car. The others were still moving around, getting all the guns and food from the compound into the cars and trucks. But he didn’t care about that, all he cared for he had in his arms. 

 

He didn’t say anything, but he gently removed the rosary from her hand, hissing as he noticed the small cuts the cross had made on her palm. “Gonna need to clean that as soon as we get home, sweetheart.”

 

Her silence was concerning. He had overheard what Maggie had told Glenn, they had killed them all, and he knew how she had felt after the wolves. 

 

“You did what you had to, remember?” He rested his head against hers once again, “ _ we _ have to survive.” 

 

And as if those had been the magic words, as if by him saying those words he had given her permission to let it all out, she bursted into tears. He couldn’t do anything but try and soothe her as best as he could, and he did. 

 

By the time Aaron came back to the car, and they all started the drive back home. Carol was asleep in Daryl’s arms. 

 

The two men shared a look through the rearview mirror, and Aaron just smiled as he saw Daryl get comfortable and close his eyes. There was no bigger honor when it came to Daryl Dixon, than to be allowed the responsibility of getting him and his woman home. 

 

The drive back passed in silence other than the soft snores of his two passengers. Aaron waited until he was parked in front of the house they shared with Rick, to softly wake Daryl up. The older man just grunted, maneuvering out of the back of the car with Carol still in his arms. 

 

Aaron drove away with a smile on his face. 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 

Her whimpers woke him up from his light slumber. 

 

They had arrived to Alexandria by mid morning, and she had woken up as Aaron had pulled up by their house. She was stubborn, he well knew that, and she’d refused to be seen by Denise even after Maggie had told Daryl what Carol had gone through. 

 

Even if he could see she was hurting, both inside and out. 

 

He didn’t say anything. After all, they knew each other. They knew when to push, and when to give the other some space. She needed time, she needed to get her mind out of what had happened. So while Maggie had been sent straight to bed, Carol had gotten busy and helped Olivia organize the pantry. 

 

She had worked until he had basically dragged her away when she’d begun nodding off while standing. She had still complained, and he had just rolled his eyes knowingly. 

 

In the end, she had fallen asleep in his arms, after he had poked and prodded at her injured ribs to make sure they were not broken. Finally, she had allowed him to clean her hands. After, they had snuggled silently in her bed, pulling one another close. 

 

That had been three hours ago, if the clock on her nightstand was telling the truth. He was a really light sleeper, so as soon as the first whining sound came from her lips, he was opening his eyes. 

 

She was clutching his shirt as her head laid over his chest. His arms were still around her, keeping her close, as if even his unconscious self was afraid she was going to be taken from him. Her face was scrunched up, a deep frown as small whimpers broke his heart. 

 

“Shhh,” Daryl whispered as he burrowed his face in her hair, clutching her closer. “You’re home, sweetheart; it’s only a dream, nothing more.”

 

He knew the moment she woke. Her breathing sped up, and her whole body tensed. “It’s me, you’re home, Carol, it’s only me.”

 

“Daryl.” Her voice was breathy, as she turned to burrow her face in the crook of his neck, and he couldn’t do anything but run his hands up and down her back as he felt her shudder against him. 

 

“You’re home, and you’re safe; and I’m not going to let anyone harm you ever again.” 

 

Carol chuckled bittersweetly as she pushed away to actually look down at him. “Don’t—” her voice broke as she moved to kiss his cheek softly, her tears dampening his cheek as she moved back again to gaze down on him—“Don’t ever lie to me.”

 

“Sorry,” Daryl mumbled as he swallowed, their noses brushing. “I didn’t mean to.”

 

“I know,” Carol sighed as she moved back to put her head on his shoulder, “but we’re going to be hurt, and maybe one day you won’t come back from a hunt, or someone will get the drop on us…”

 

“As long as I’m alive, sweetheart,” Daryl said softly, his voice rough with unshed tears, “I’ll always come back to you, as long as I have breath left in my body; I won’t let anyone keep me away.”

 

“That,” Carol whispered into the darkness of their room, “that I believe.”

 

“You better always come back to me.” Daryl frowned as he realized the meaning of the words that had left his mouth, frowning at how they sounded once they were out. “I mean, if you want to...”

 

“I’ll always want to.” 

 

Daryl sighed in relief, moving to drop a kiss to the top of her head. Carol was the one who broke the silence once again. 

 

“Remember when you asked me…” He could feel her trembling still in his arms, “After the farm, after Sophia… when you asked me what did I want?” 

 

Daryl nodded, making an affirming sound against the top of her head. He did remember, he remembered she had even then believed in him more than he had believed in himself. She had told him he was more than just the help, that he was better than that. He didn’t believe it back then, but she had. She had believed enough for both of them, and eventually he’d begun to believe it as well. 

 

“A man of honor.”

 

“ _ My _ man of honor,” Carol repeated his words, dropping a soft kiss on the collarbone which was just peaking out of the neck of the tank he was wearing, before she settled back to sleep. 

 

Daryl fell asleep soon after, a small smile on his face. 

 

-.-.-

 

For the next three days things started getting back to what was normal for them. Carol was still a little too silent for Daryl’s taste, but at least she had started to speak with Denise who, as a psychiatrist, could probably help her more than he ever could. 

 

The other thing that didn’t go back to ‘normal’ was their sleeping arrangements. Neither of them had the courage to say it out loud, but every night, after dinner, Carol would reach out to take his hand after they did their nightly rounds around their neighborhood, and silently she would lead him into her bedroom. And he never said anything, but that was the best part of his day.  To fall asleep with her in his arms, to wake up with her arms around him. That was the best thing he had ever felt in his life. 

 

Both of them still had nightmares. On the three nights following her abduction, he had to comfort her when she woke up in the middle of the night. On the third night she finally, in hushed voices, told him everything that had happened. How she had done what she did best; allowed people to underestimate her. 

 

He told her how glad he was that she was so clever, how incredible she was and how lucky they all were that she was with them. How lucky he was that she was with  _ him _ . 

 

“Hey.” 

 

Daryl looked up, squinting as the sun hit his eyes, only to find Carol standing next to where he was finally taking time to look after his bike. 

 

“I’m sorry I’ve been so needy. You’ve neglected her because of me,” said Carol.

 

“What makes you think it’s a ‘she’?” Daryl asked, a little smile still on his face as he moved to sit next to her on the step behind him. 

 

“Isn’t that how it is?” Carol smiled at him, her eyes crinkling as she passed him her cigarette for him to have a smoke. “Cars and bikes are always ‘your ladies’”

 

Daryl snorted, shaking his head as he silently laughed before passing her cigarette back. “His name is Frank.”

 

“Frank?” Her shoulders were shaking with repressed laughter, and Daryl couldn’t help but feel a little bit proud of making her laugh that way. 

 

“Real name is Francis, but he feels like Frank is more butch.”

 

The deadpanned tone of his delivery caused Carol to giggle softly, resting her weight against him and burrowing her face in his neck, kissing him softly there before moving back. Neither one looked at the other, both equally red in the face. 

 

“Daryl…”

 

“Hey guys!” Denise’s cheery voice made the two of them jump and move away from where they had been leaning into each other. They hadn’t even realized how close they had gotten until they had to move away. 

 

“Hey, Denise!” Carol greeted the Doctor, trying to keep her laughter at bay as she heard Daryl grumble behind her. “Did I forget we had an appointment today?”

 

“No, we were actually looking for Daryl.” Denise pointed at Rosita, who was looking at Carol with a teasing look on her face. 

 

“Alright,” Carol said as she stood up, putting a hand on Daryl’s shoulder to push herself up. “He’s all yours, just please try and have him back by dinner, and in mint condition if it’s not too much of a hassle.”

 

“Why? You got plans for him?” Rosita asked as Carol walked past them. 

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Carol answered looking over her shoulder, winking at them before she turned to go on her way. 

 

Carol’s parting words had both women turning to look at Daryl, who was definitely not looking at either of them as he fumbled with his bike. Nothing else could be heard but the sound of Carol’s steps as she walked away from them for the next few seconds. 

 

“What?!” Daryl finally growled, looking up at Rosita and Denise with a glare on his face; even if he was still blushing from Carol’s words. 

 

“I have an idea…” 

 

-.-.-

 

“Hey.”

 

Carol smiled as she continued to cook what was going to be their lunch when she heard Daryl greet her from the door. “Come here,” she said making a motion with her hand, pulling at the front of his shirt when he was close enough. “Try this,” she ordered, raising a spoon that she put in front of his mouth. 

 

Daryl couldn’t do anything but follow her orders. The sound he made as he tasted her latest concoction made her beam up at him. 

 

“That’s fucking delicious.”

 

“Thanks, Pookie,” Carol said as she hip-checked him, frowning when she noticed his mood turning sour. “Everything okay?”

 

“Denise wants us to go on a run…”

 

“And you don’t want to go?” She had left the cooking utensils on the side, turning down the stove, before she moved to rest her back against the island, giving him her full attention. 

 

“She’s too inexperienced,” Daryl mumbled as he stood across from her, resting his back against the sink. “But she’s threatening to go on her own if Rosita and I don’t go with her.” 

 

Carol nodded, keeping her eyes on him. “I was inexperienced once too,” she said.  

 

Daryl made a face, but nodded in agreement. 

 

“And besides,” Carol added, “she will find the way to get out there anyway, just like Enid did.” 

 

“Wait… the little girl?” Daryl scoffed as he shook his head, his voice full of amusement. “That’s just what we needed, for Carl to find himself a little girlfriend who’s even worse than him at staying where he’s supposed to fucking stay.”

 

Carol laughed along with him as they both remembered complaining to each other more than once about the boy’s inability to stay where he was asked when he was younger. 

 

“Seems like you’re going then?”

 

Daryl nodded. 

 

“Want me to save you some lunch for when you get back?”

 

“Hell yeah!”

 

-.-.-

 

Everything had gone to shit in seconds. Denise had been ranting at both him and Rosita, she had been scolding them for wasting time by not taking a chance on love. She was yelling at them— especially at him— about not taking that last step he knew he needed to take with Carol, but that he was terrified to do. 

 

And the next moment she was dead, and they were fighting for their lives . 

 

He had to choke down a sob as they left her body lying there on the train tracks as the three of them struggled to carry Eugene back to safety. Dwight and his people knew where Alexandria was, and that meant they could come back and ambush them at any moment on the road between where they were and their home. 

 

They were lucky enough to find a car he could hotwire, and with Rosita pressing against Eugene’s abdomen, they drove away from the tracks, away from yet another life lost. 

 

Daryl was working on auto-pilot as they arrived in Alexandria. He worked with Abraham to carry Eugene to one of the stretchers inside the medbay. And then he just checked out. He was surprised when he looked up, and was suddenly in front of their house. 

 

For the first time in two months, since he came back from leading the horde away from their home, he couldn’t make himself go and face her. His hands shook as he looked to the closed door up on the porch. She would be inside, waiting for him. 

 

He couldn’t face giving her more bad news. But apparently, the universe had other plans . 

 

“Daryl?” 

 

He had been so focused on what was going on inside his own head he hadn’t realized she wasn’t even inside the house. And the moment she reached and touched his shoulder, he couldn’t help but flinch back — something he hadn’t done since the beginning. 

 

“Oh, no…” 

 

Daryl couldn’t bear to look at her, feeling more than seeing as she slowly approached him as one does a wounded animal. 

 

“Were you hurt?”

 

Daryl just shook his head, feeling as tears started to burn behind his eyes. “Come here.” Carol’s voice was soft, as she finally got close enough and was able to put her arms around his waist. Daryl tensed up the moment he felt her against him, before the fight just left his body as he sagged against her. 

 

“Denise…”

 

“I know.” Her voice was muffled against his neck, just as he burrowed his face against hers. He knew he should probably let go a little bit, that she was probably uncomfortable as he crushed her to him, but for the love of God he couldn’t make himself do it. 

 

“Got to get her back from there.”

 

“Rick and Aaron already left to get her back,” Carol explained as she pushed back, running her hands over his hair, pushing it back from where it was covering his face. “Eugene is going to be alright.”

 

At his surprised look, she tenderly caressed his cheek, wiping away his tears. “Eric came to find me, he told me what happened.” She brought him back into her neck as she saw him start to pout, knowing he needed to hide his tears from everyone but her. “It wasn’t your fault.” She whispered into his ear. 

 

Daryl shook his head. He was not going to allow her to forgive his mistake that easily. It was his fault. The only reason he had been there was to protect her, and he had failed at that. 

 

“I know you, Daryl Dixon,” Carol said in a stern voice. “This wasn’t your fault, it’s on the asshole who killed her, not on you.”

 

“Should have protected her,” Daryl grumbled as he pulled away from Carol, finding himself unable to pull further back when she refused to let go of his waist. “Should have killed that bastard when I had the chance.”

 

“Daryl…” 

 

He couldn’t handle the pain in her eyes, so he didn’t look at her. He averted his gaze to the side, away from her prying eyes. “I should start on her grave, have it ready for when they come back.” 

 

Carol sighed, letting go of his waist but catching his wrist as he moved past her. “I’m helping you with that.”

 

Daryl sighed, dropping his head and nodding. They began walking towards Alexandria’s little cemetery, and as they did, Daryl’s hand moved to grasp Carol’s. They were still there, still alive. They shouldn’t waste any more time. 

 

They worked in silence, only their grunts of effort filling the space between them. Rick and Aaron arrived not long after, and Daryl had glared at the two of them until they left dejected and knowing there was only one person the archer was going to allow to help him carry his burden. 

 

When Carol wasn’t looking, he pocketed the keychain with the name of her brother to give to Tara later. One last memento of her love, to have something tangible to give her when he broke the news to her. When he told her how Denise was thinking of her in her last moments, how she had faced her fears to try and get her some orange soda. When he told her how much the doctor had loved her. 

 

They filled up the grave in silence. 

 

“She wasn’t religious,” Carol said as Daryl threw the last of the soil on top of her grave, “but it feels weird not to say anything in the end.”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Daryl responded, his voice bitter as he hid behind a curtain of hair. “None of that bullshit matters, you’re either alive, or you’re dead.”

 

Carol smiled sadly as she rested her weight against the shovel’s handle. “It brings people comfort, Daryl, to think their loved ones are still out there, that we’ll get to see them again.”

 

“It’s bullshit.”

 

“It brings people closure, Daryl, it brings them peace when there’s nothing but hate inside of them.”

 

“It’s fucking stupid, and if you believe in that you’re fucking stupid too!” 

 

Carol took a deep breath as her face settled into a scowl. Daryl had raised his voice, yelling the last part almost right up to her face. 

 

“It’s like a fucking fairytale, where people don’t die! So guess the fuck what! They die! And it’s all that fucking Dwight’s fault! And I should’ve killed him when I had the chance!” His chest was heaving, and his hands were motioning around them violently. But even when he was getting up to her face, anger fueling his words, Carol never once felt the need to protect herself. She knew him; he would never hurt her. 

 

“That’s not who you are, Daryl.”

 

“Maybe that’s who I should be,” Daryl said over his shoulder as he turned to stalk away from the grave, away from her. She knew him though, and she knew she couldn’t let him leave like that. He needed to feel it, he needed to process what he was feeling. 

 

He needed  _ her  _ . 

 

“Where do you think you’re going, Dixon?!” Carol yelled after him as she started to follow him down the street, not caring if anyone heard or saw them. 

 

“I’m going to fucking kill that son of a bitch.”

 

“You’re going to calm the fuck down and think this fucking through!” Her use of language as well as the volume made him slow down long enough for her to catch up to him. She moved fast enough so she was in front of him, her hands on his chest as if physically stopping him. “You’re going to go back home, take a fucking shower and calm the fuck down!”

 

“I’m not a fucking kid, Woman! You can’t tell me what to do!”

 

“I fucking can if you’re acting like a prick! You are going to go inside right now or help me God, Daryl Dixon!” 

 

Daryl glared at her and sneered, before he moved around her and stalked towards their home. Carol took a deep breath as she watched him long enough to make sure he went into the house, slamming the door behind him as he did so. 

 

Her hands were shaking, tears welling up in her eyes, as she turned on her heel and made her way towards the gates. She was going to give specific instructions that no one was to let Daryl out without consulting it first with her or Rick. 

 

On her way back home she passed by his bike. Looking around, making sure no one was watching, she took the key and pocketed it. He could always jump start it, but it would take him a little while longer to do so. And a little longer was all she needed if that came to pass. 

 

She wasn’t shocked to see he had stomped his way through the house, not caring about dragging mud as he made his way through. He had been pissed, that was a given, and he was acting out. She recognized his behavior, how he seemed to regress into childhood when he was hurt.  Her psychologist - the one she’d seen before Ed happened - would have cited the reason as being that Daryl had never truly gotten over that stage of his life. One of his greatest fears was to show any form of weakness to the group, and instead of facing that fear, he relied on name calling, fighting and acting out. It was the only thing he knew. 

 

Carol sighed as she started climbing the stairs, shaking her head when she saw the mud tracks leading into her room. She loved him, knew he was devastated inside, just like he had been back at the farm after Sophia. 

 

It had been the exact same thing back then. When he was hurt, he tried to hide his wounds to lick them when he was on his own. And she always pushed those boundaries; she had practically since the moment they met. She had wondered, during their trek to Alexandria, what had been different about the loss of Beth. Maybe it had been because they had just found each other, or her words about him now being a man had been fresh in his mind. Yet, he had allowed her to be there for him, to give him as much comfort as she could. 

 

She changed into her pjs. The sun was barely going down, and she knew there were many things to be done yet… but she was tired. Her back hurt from shoveling the earth, and probably from all the anxiety riddling her body. There were so many things to be done, so many things to consider now that Denise was no longer with them. 

 

But they would have to wait until the next day. 

 

Daryl seemed to have decided that another way to show his anger was to finish off all of their hot water. As Carol got between her sheets, she heard when he turned off the spray, and with her back towards the room at large she waited. She waited for him as she watched the sun set through her window, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

 

She thought of Tara, of sweet nerdy Tara, and how they were going to tell her Denise was gone. She thought of Maggie, of how scared she must be having lost the only medical support they had at the moment. She thought of Rosita, of how broken-hearted she already was, and how losing a friend could be the trigger for many things. 

 

She thought of Daryl, how her sweet man always took every loss as though it was his own personal failure. How her heart hurt for him, knowing his soul was going to carry Denise’s death with him forever. Just like he carried Sophia, Dale, Hershel, and Beth’s. 

 

She felt the bed dip behind her, but she didn’t turn around. She wasn’t mad at him, she had never been. She was hurt though  His words had hurt and had taken her back to a time where they hadn’t been equals. A time before she was able to stand up for herself and those she loved. A time where she was nothing more than a burden. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Daryl murmured as one of his hands reached to touch her back, lingering a few inches away as if afraid he wasn’t allowed to touch anymore. “I’m so sorry.”

 

Carol sighed, turning onto her back and looking up at him. He was flushed, his red rimmed eyes told her he had cried in the shower, his hands trembled as he crossed his arms over his chest and pushed his hands under his armpits. “You’re not allowed to call me that ever again,” she said.

 

“Never.” Daryl moved and laid down next to her, sagging in relief as she opened her arms for him and allowed him to place his head against her shoulder, snuggling close. “I didn’t mean it, I’m so sorry.”

 

“I know, baby,” Carol murmured softly as she started running the hand from the arm she had around his shoulders through his hair. “I know it hurts, but it’s me Daryl, you don’t have to pretend with me.”

 

Her only answer was the dampening of her shirt as he burrowed his face in her chest and cried. His shoulders shuddered with every silent sob as he finally allowed himself to break down in front of someone, as he finally allowed himself to openly and without restrictions share his pain.  

 

They didn’t move again until the sun filtered through their open window next morning. 

 

Life had to go on. 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 

 

Daryl was blushing madly as he stared down at his bowl of oatmeal while sitting on the kitchen island. He could still feel Michonne’s teasing gaze on him as he tried to ignore her and eat his breakfast, a breakfast he had prepared so Carol could get a couple more minutes of sleep instead of having to wake up and cook for everyone. 

 

“Morning.” Carol’s voice broke him away from his thoughts as he quickly looked up to see her enter the room, looking as put together and as beautiful as always. He heard Michonne chuckle across from the island, and he couldn’t help but blush and look down at his food again. 

 

Sometimes he really hated his friend. He ate another portion of his food as he heard Carol baby talk Judith, who was in her high chair beside Michonne as she served herself some breakfast. 

 

“Thank you,” Carol whispered as she dropped a kiss to the side of his head, taking a seat on the stool beside him. 

 

“What?” Daryl grumbled as he took another bite to eat. 

 

“Michonne told me you were the one who made breakfast, and I’m just saying thank you.” 

 

Daryl just shrugged, hurrying to finish his food. Feeling Michonne’s eyes on him after Carol’s gesture and wanting nothing more but escape from them. After the night before, after breaking down and showing himself vulnerable to Carol; he felt like a open raw wound, like everyone could take a look at him and just know. They would know how much of a failure he was, how much of a pussy he was by breaking down in Carol’s arms; how much he needed her in his life, how much he longed for the connection he had with her. 

 

Carol’s hand on his knee brought him back from his inner thoughts. When he looked up, they were alone. Michonne had taken Judith away, and there was no one else stomping around the house. 

 

“Hi,” Carol said, a smile on her face as she moved her hand from his knee, to gently put some of the hair falling over his face behind his ear. “Did you get some sleep?”

 

It was just her, and when it was just her he could allow himself to be just that… him. “Yeah,” he answered as he turned his head and nuzzled her palm. Carol smiled, cradling his cheek with her hand, her thumb caressing the slightly swollen skin under his eye. “You?”

 

Carol nodded. “More than I expected to.”

 

Daryl made a sound of approval. Sometimes there was no need for words between them; silence nowadays didn’t feel constricting, it was just so  _ them _ . 

 

“Maggie asked me to cut her hair today,” Carol smiled as she tugged at a strand of his hair. “Do you want me to pencil you in?”

 

Daryl grumbled his answer, making Carol smile wide after she was able to decrypt what those grunts mixed with words meant. 

 

“I’m telling Maggie she’s been bumped down in line.”

 

-.-.

 

As things usually did, everything went to shit fast. After finishing cutting Daryl’s hair, she had gone to Maggie’s to do the same. A few minutes after being done, she found herself sending Enid out to get help as she sat on the floor with Maggie’s head in her lap. 

 

“It hurts!” Maggie gasped as she felt another wave of inscrutable pain hit her. 

 

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” Carol murmured as she bent over Maggie, grasping her hand and not even wincing when she felt the bones in her hand grate as Maggie squeezed during another wave of pain. 

 

“I want Glenn.” The need in Maggie’s voice broke Carol’s heart.

 

“He’ll be here at any moment. Enid went to get help.”

 

Just as she was finishing her sentence she heard someone stomping their way across the porch. “Back here! In the Kitchen!”

 

“What’s going on?” Daryl asked, shocked as he dropped to his knees beside the two women. His hand hovered over Maggie as he shot a panicked look at Carol. 

 

“Something’s wrong. We need to take her to see the doctor at the Hilltop.”

 

“I need Glenn!” Maggie moaned as another wave of pain hit her. 

 

“He’s coming, sweetheart, he’s coming,” Carol said softly before focusing her attention on Daryl. “I need you to go and get some things from Denise’s house, some tylenol, some antibiotics whatever you can find, preferably penicillin-”

 

Maggie’s moan of pain interrupted her instructions, making her look down at her patient before glancing worriedly up at Daryl once again. “Please, hurry.”

 

Daryl nodded, then he stood up and ran out of the house. He was barely able to swerve before crashing straight into Glenn on his way out. At least there was one of the things Maggie needed which was already in place. 

 

He yelled at Rick as he ran past him, sending him over to Glenn and Maggie’s as he went to do the task he had been ordered to do. He had always been better at this, doing specific things rather than just coming up with them on his own. 

 

He sent the meds back with Carl as he saw him walking outside, then from there he went directly to the RV. He checked the fuel level, the oil level… he even checked the air pressure in the tires. 

 

They had to take Maggie to The Hilltop.

 

He heard Rick before he saw him, his cowboy boots having a specific sound when they hit the pavement . 

 

“We need to get it ready for the Hilltop. Maggie is sick-”

 

“It’s ready, we can leave as soon as you guys get her here.” 

 

Rick was slightly taken back when Daryl answered, nodding as he looked at where he had come from. “We need to leave enough people back in case something happens; I’ll leave you in charge of the people here-”

 

“Is Carol going?”

 

“What?” Rick asked, finally turning to look at Daryl. “Yes, Maggie is apparently not allowing her to leave her sight.”

 

“I’m going then.”

 

“Daryl…”

 

“No!” Daryl took a step closer to Rick, a sneer on his face. “If you think I’m letting her out of my sight, after what happened last time? You’re fucking insane. Leave Michonne then!”

 

“No! She’s the one person I trust to have my back.” Rick didn’t realize the words that were coming out of his mouth until it was too late. 

 

Daryl didn’t say anything; he just nodded and clenched his jaw before moving to the armory where he was going to pick up their weapons. He was not staying when his family was outside their walls. 

 

“What the fuck…” Daryl muttered as he entered the armory only to hear someone, Enid, slamming her hands against the door and yelling to be let out. That together with cursing Carl. Daryl scoffed, before moving to grab his and Carol’s weapons, not paying attention to the girl’s angry exclamations. 

 

When he left the armory, they had already moved the RV to wait outside. He didn’t even take a moment to look at Rick as he climbed up and dropped himself on one of the seats. Glenn and Carol were in the back with Maggie, and he didn’t want to intrude. 

 

People started filing in— Carl, Abraham, Sasha, Michonne— Rosita looking more pissed off than usual; something he didn’t actually think was possible. And he could hear Rick and Aaron fighting over him coming with them right outside. The sound of Maggie in pain prompted him to stand up and lean out the door. 

 

“Rick! For fucks sake, we need to go, now!” 

 

Rick looked at him, nodded, before turning to say something to Aaron. Daryl only scoffed, before walking back to where Carol was, resting his shoulder against the door and trying not to be sent back to a different time. A time where there was another woman, another mother crying for her child. 

 

“How’s she doing?” Daryl asked as he moved to crouch next to where Carol was kneeling by Maggie’s side. 

 

“She finally fell asleep,” Carol murmured, placing a hand on Daryl’s thigh as the RV lurched forward. “The pain eased up a little bit, and she’s not bleeding which is a good thing.”

 

“Is she going to lose the baby?” Carol bit back tears at the innocence in Glenn’s question as he looked down at Maggie with worry on his face. 

 

“She’s not bleeding, which is good news…” Carol gave him a small smile, moving her free hand to pat Glenn’s. “We’re going to leave her to rest, call me if you need anything.”

 

Glenn nodded, his attention already back on his wife. 

 

Daryl got up first, holding a hand out that Carol took to help her off her knees. He lead her out of the back, waiting a moment so she could close the small door to give them some privacy. 

 

“Are you alright?” Daryl asked as he leaned in close so only she could hear his question. 

 

“Got to be.” 

 

Daryl used the hand he was still holding to pull her close, kissing her forehead and letting her rest her weight against him as he leaned back on the small kitchenette. He felt as her arms sneaked around his middle, and she sighed while leaning her head against his chest. He breathed her in as he tried to calm his racing heart. 

 

They couldn’t lose Maggie, they couldn’t lose the baby. That was simply not an option. 

 

Carol was called away a few minutes later, and Daryl let her go with one last kiss to her  forehead. He sat down silently on the table, cleaning his gun, trying not to let Maggie’s whimpers, which traveled all the way up to the front, affect him. 

 

The first roadblock made him spring into action. His first thought was to go and tell Glenn and Carol to stay inside with Maggie, before being the last one to exit. There were more saviors, and they wanted everything. They wanted to kill at least one of them.  Daryl was ready to fight, but Rick wasn’t. 

 

And they always did as Rick said. 

 

They backed up and left. Only to encounter another roadblock on their alternate route. And another. And another one. Daryl was getting even more restless with every roadblock they hit. They had them surrounded, blocked every option they could come up with. 

 

And meanwhile, Maggie was still about to lose her baby.

 

“There are two more routes we can take,” Sasha said as she pointed at the map spread out over the table. 

 

“They’re going to be waiting for us.” Rick sighed, as he ran a hand through his hair. 

 

“How about…” Daryl wondered, as he pointed at the precise place they were in the map. “If we go through here, we might need to walk all night, but I reckon we could probably be at the Hilltop by morning.” 

 

“Maggie is in no condition to walk…” 

 

“We can use the table as a stretcher; we’ll carry her,” Daryl answered. “There’s enough of us that we can just trade places when we’re tired.”

 

“If we push hard, we could probably make it,” Abraham added as he looked at their companions. There were five men if they counted Carl, and three women. “We could use a decoy, send someone off in this rustbucket and hit all those roadblock once again.”

 

“It would have to be one of the women,” Daryl added, looking at the people around them. “We need all the brute force we can spare.”

 

“I’ll do it,” Rosita offered from the back, “I know how to drive this _ hijo de puta _ , I can do that.”

 

“You sure?” Rick asked, putting a hand on Rosita’s shoulder and looking at her in the eyes. 

 

“Yeah, I can do it.”

 

“So let’s start getting everything together.” 

 

Maggie didn’t let go of Carol’s hand. Glenn and Daryl offered to carry the made up stretcher first, while people watched their backs. But Maggie refused to let go of Carol’s hand, and so they started to move. 

 

The whistling started not long after. The sound made the hairs on Daryl’s arms stand up, and his heart beat faster. They were being hunted. Rick pushed them to start running, and they did. But it was too late.

 

The moment they made it to the clearing, lights went up, and his eyes sought Carol’s in the midst of it all. 

 

He should have kissed her when he had the chance.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you guys, thank you so much for your kind words.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 

She would never forget Daryl’s look as long as she lived. The utter despair in his eyes as they looked at each other, separated by a mere three feet, but feeling so far away right then. 

 

Carol couldn’t let go of Maggie’s hand as Daryl turned to look at the people surrounding them. She could feel as her chest started to tighten in the onset of a panic attack; her breathing was too fast, and she could only hear what was going on as her eyes moved from Maggie to Daryl who was pacing like a caged tiger, a tiger who yielded when a man who by the previous description Carol knew was Dwight, took away his weapons. 

 

They were ordered to put Maggie on her feet, and Carol immediately went to her side. She didn’t know who was helping who stay upright. Carol tried not to flinch when she felt Abraham’s strong arm sneak around her waist as Rick did the same to Maggie on the other side. They had been ordered to kneel, all of them. Gently, Abraham pushed her to her knees, kneeling beside her. 

 

“Kneel, bitch!” Dwight sneered at Daryl, who was looking at him with murder in his eyes. Quickly, as if trying to not give anything away, Daryl’s eyes moved to Carol and back. When he saw she was kneeling, with Maggie in her arms, and looking worse for wear, he dropped to his knees on the spot. 

 

He was not going to paint a target on her by letting Dwight know who she was, he was not going to do anything which could cause them to know how much she meant to him. 

 

Rosita was thrown to her knees beside him, before they dragged Glenn away from where he had tried to sneak closer to Maggie. They were all kneeling now, even Rick. Rick who had an expression on his face Daryl had not seen in almost a year. Rick who looked pale as a ghost, and as absent from this moment as one could be. 

 

“Hey!” The balding man with the moustache, yelled as he approached with a frown towards where Carol and Maggie were basically keeping each other from falling face first onto the ground as pain racked one and panic caused the other one to pass out, “spread around, there’s enough space for everyone.”

 

He was not paying attention as he grabbed Carol by the collar of her jacket, trying to drag her away from Maggie, only causing both women to cry even harder and Carol’s breathing to worsen. 

 

“Simon, please!” A new voice was heard over the cries of Maggie and Carol’s sobs. “We do not enjoy making women cry! Let the poor mother give her daughter some solace, after all… the young one doesn’t seem long for this world.”

 

It was a man they had never seen before. He was wearing a leather jacket and was carrying a bat wrapped in barbed wire. “Are you alright, darling?” Carol wanted to gouge his eyes out when he walked over to them, and put his bat under her chin, forcing her to raise her eyes to meet his if she wanted to avoid having her face cut into pieces. 

 

She didn’t have to act much this time around. She was petrified. She wanted to look for Daryl, but she knew that by doing so she would paint a target on his head. Even worse than the one he already had by his animosity with Dwight. Carol whimpered as her eyes met the man’s, allowing all of her tears to cascade down her cheeks. She didn’t speak, but she gave him a small nod, burrowing her face into Maggie’s short hair as the man finally took a step back. 

 

“See, Granny here has the right idea… she’s already leaking all over. It’s going to be pee pee pants city around here real soon.”

 

Daryl felt as if his heart had stopped when he saw the man approach Carol. He wanted to spring into action, but he had a clear idea of what would happen if he did. They had been put onto their knees in a semicircle, and because of that he was able to see Carol without having to move. That was both a blessing and a curse. 

 

She was hyperventilating as the man moved around them, talking and saying shit he had no interest in to Rick, who was kneeling right beside Maggie. They weren’t all getting to come back home, he knew that. All he could do at this point was try and keep Carol safe. He knew he would take her place in a heartbeat if it was something he could do. But there wasn’t anything he could do right then, nothing but share painful looks with Glenn kneeling a few feet away, as the younger man kept his eyes on his wife. 

 

He didn’t look at her, but he tried to keep his own breathing even, just in case she might look at him. So she would know what she needed to do right then. The weak victim which was part pretend and part probably real fear, needed to be controlled. He knew her, and he also knew how easy it could escape her control.

 

The pacing was driving her crazy. The man—Negan, he had called himself—reminded her of Ed. It wasn’t anything physical, since the man in front of them would have been considered handsome if it wasn’t for the awful vibe he carried around, but was more the look in his eyes. He was a bully, and only knew how to take what he wanted, no matter who he hurt in the process. 

 

And those were the type you had to be more wary of. 

 

She looked at Daryl from the side of her eyes, pretending to whimper against Maggie’s hair as Negan walked past them again. He was breathing in deep, and she immediately knew what he wanted her to do. She needed to breathe, she needed to keep calm. 

 

They needed to survive. 

 

“You didn’t think you would all get outta here without a punishment, did you?” Negan asked Rick, and Carol felt as Maggie just squeezed her hand tighter, feeling as her nails broke her skin. The pain helped to center her as she felt her lips tingle slightly due to her breathing. 

 

“You killed a lot of my men, and because of that, you’re going to pay. So now… I’m going to beat the holy hell out of one of you.”

 

Carol felt a scream lodge in her throat. There was nothing she could do right then, there was no saving her family now. They were going to lose someone, and they were all going to watch as this man, this maniac, beat them to death. 

 

She couldn’t help but allow herself a moment to look at Daryl. His eyes were on hers as soon as she did, and she saw the same thing she knew was probably reflected in hers. She saw love, as well as despair; she saw a warning, and a promise. A warning against doing anything to get the man to pay more attention to her, and a promise to do anything in his power to get back to her. She was sure he was seeing the same thing in hers. 

 

“I just can’t decide…” Negan said as he turned his back to them, “I know! I have an idea.”

 

Then came the worst minute in Daryl’s life. If he had thought seeing Sophia walk out of that barn had broken his heart, then what happened next made that hell seem like a walk in the park. Every single time the man stopped his rhyme for a second too long at Carol, he wanted to jump up and slam himself into him, no matter the consequences. He felt like it was just a matter of a tenth of a second which kept him from doing that, just as Negan moved to the next person. 

 

He held his breath as Negan finally stopped in front of his victim. His heart did a somersault as Abraham looked up daringly at the man standing before him. He would never forget the sound his skull made when the bat slammed over his head for the first time. 

 

Abraham’s blood spattered all over her right side. She couldn’t help but whimper, pushing Maggie’s face against her breast closer with every hit the man landed. She could try to protect the young expectant mother from the senseless brutality of what was happening. She could try to block what was happening while doing that. She could feel as blood and brain matter flew and landed all over. 

 

She didn’t have to fake her sobs as Negan finally stopped, what was left of Abraham just a few inches from her. 

 

“Sorry, Granny,” Negan said as he looked at her, a sardonic smile on his face. “Didn’t mean to stain your pretty clothes, darling.”

 

Carol sobbed as she looked at what was left of their friend. Abraham’s head had been beaten to a pulp and she couldn’t help but let out a sob as she saw that. That man hadn’t been perfect, far from it, but he had been part of their family. 

 

He had been a human being, and no one deserved to die like that. No one.  Maggie tried to remain silent at her side, burying her face against Carol’s shoulder, all the while tightening her fierce grip on her hand.  Carol had long ago lost feeling in her fingers, her only need was to keep the young woman safe.

 

“You guys, look at my dirty girl!” Carol looked up only to see Negan looking adoringly at his bloodied bat as he moved with it in front of Glenn, Rosita and Daryl. “Aww sweetheart, lay your eyes on this…” Carol felt her heart in her throat as Negan approached Rosita, who was crying as she looked in front of her, like she was there but not really.

 

Daryl was pale, his eyes flitting from Abraham’s body, to Negan, to her in rapid succession. She tried to convey to him with a look that she was fine, they were alive, they needed to just keep it together so they could stay that way. 

 

There would be time to fight back later. The men around them were going to die. She made that solemn vow to not only herself, but to the God she hadn’t believed in lately. She promised on her life, on Sophia’s memory, on the love she had for Daryl. They were all going to die. 

 

“Oh, damn,” Negan said as he moved the bat to his side, crowding on Rosita so she was forced to look up at him if she didn’t want to be starting right at his crotch. “Were you… were you together?” He turned to look at what was left of Abraham. “Well that sucks.”

 

The smile on his face didn’t last for long. With a guttural sound Carol would remember forever, Rosita threw herself forward, her jaw clamping onto Negan’s half hard cock where it was clearly on the right side of his pants. The howl of pain from the man who had just beaten Abraham to death reverberated around the clearing. 

 

“You stupid bitch!” Negan yelled as he swung Lucille, slamming it against Rosita’s side. With a grunt, Rosita fell to the ground, looking up at the man before her with a smirk on her face. 

 

“I usually don’t do this,” Negan said, his chest heaving as he limped a little, walking in front of Rosita, while raising his bat and pointing it at the people still kneeling in the semicircle. “But you guys love biting cocks too damned fucking much!” He slammed his bat against Rosita’s arm, chuckling in satisfaction as she cried in pain as it broke.

 

“And that’s-” He slammed it into her leg, “something you are going to have to stop doing!” He slammed it against her back, laughing when the woman’s breathing sounded strained. “You, and I mean all of you…” he took the time to walk around Rosita and point the bat at almost everyone, “are going to learn to take a cock all the way down your throats like champs!”

 

Carol tried to meet Daryl’s eyes, but Daryl was looking at Rosita, and she could see he was measuring how far Negan was from him; he was in hunter mode, he was looking for his opportunity to attack. And if he did, she knew she was going to lose him. 

 

She didn’t even have to do anything other than react to the moment when Negan slammed his bat against Rosita’s head. Daryl’s eyes immediately found hers and she saw as he deflated. He dropped his weight onto the back of his legs, closing his eyes and turning his face to her as Negan continued to beat down Rosita. 

 

He couldn’t believe he had done nothing. Rosita had had balls of steel in the end. She had just seen the man she loved, the man she had never been afraid to love, beaten to death. She hadn’t let that asshole intimidate her, she hadn’t allowed him to feel no pain over her love’s death . 

 

And now she was dead. 

 

Daryl couldn’t open his eyes until silence reigned in the clearing, only the sound of Negan’s labored breathing meeting his ears. He opened his eyes and felt like he could breathe again when he gazed into Carol’s pained eyes. They were alive, they were going to make it, and nothing else mattered for now. There would be time to regroup, there would be time to kill all of these sons of bitches. There would be time for Denise’s and Rosita’s actions to not go in vain. 

 

They all saw as Negan dragged Rick away, driving away in the RV as they left the back with the group of men who surrounded them. No one dared to move though, no one dared to do anything else but cry. 

 

Carol wanted to go to Carl, she wanted to go put Maggie in Glenn’s arms; she wanted to reach across the space Rick had left and take Sasha’s hand. She wanted to go and wrap her arms around Daryl’s waist and bury herself in his chest and go to sleep. Go to sleep and wake up from this nightmare. 

 

She wanted to wake up just as she had this morning, engulfed by the scent of the man she loved and the feeling of peace his mere trace brought her. 

 

Silence fell upon them, the occasional sniffing coming from one of them, but none of them were even thinking of stepping out of line. Not even Daryl tried to even move as two guys chuckled along, moving with a polaroid camera on hand to take pictures of what had been left of their friends. 

 

They all flinched every time the flash went off. 

 

Daryl wanted to kill every single motherfucker surrounding them. He wanted to reach out and choke the life slowly out of those two men who had taken pictures of their friends, wanted to bash Dwight’s face against the ground so hard it exploded like a fucking grape; he wanted to make Negan eat his fucking bat. 

 

He wanted all that, but Daryl Dixon never got what he wanted. He wanted a peaceful life with the woman he loved, wanted his friends to grow old and enjoy their lives with their kids; he wanted to kill these bunch of assholes right there and then. 

 

Minutes changed into hours, and not even the sounds of birds singing, or the sun announcing a brand new day allowed their minds to rest for a moment. Rick had been taken, and who knew what the madman who had forced them into submission had in store for him; for them. 

 

They had been allowed to change positions after a while, Carol and Maggie still supporting each other but now sitting side by side. Neither of them were sure if they would have been able to make it if they hadn’t had the other. 

 

Daryl’s eyes were filled with anger and resentment, and the only thing keeping him from trying to burn everything to the ground was the fact that Carol was there. The only reason he hadn’t moved to try and get that man away from Rosita, was sitting a few spaces from him unable to freely look at him in case they tried to use her against him. Or him against her. 

 

The sound of the RV coming back, brought everyone up to attention once again. Daryl risked a quick look at Carol, finding her eyes on him already sharing a nod with her which meant everything they couldn’t say right then.  _ Everything will be alright, stay put, don’t do anything stupid, please stay safe… I love you.  _

 

Rick was shoved to his knees in front of them, his eyes wildly darting around in search of Carl among them. Negan wasn’t done with them though, he wasn’t done with Rick. He wanted to break  _ him _ , thinking that by doing that he would break  _ them _ . He didn’t know them, he had no idea what they had gone through as a group and as a family. 

 

He didn’t know who he was messing with. 

 

She would remember afterwards the fact that she didn’t beg. Her eyes had met Carl’s as he laid there and told his father to cut off his hand, and she had never been more proud of that boy. She saw so much of Lori in him as he offered himself for the sake of others, she saw so much of what Sophia had seen in her first real friend. In her best friend. And for the first time since she’d met him, Carol saw Rick Grimes at his weakest. She wasn’t sure if this was how he had looked after Lori, but he looked defeated. 

 

“You’re such a fucking pussy!” The sound of Daryl’s voice broke into Carol’s reverie, and she turned to look at where Daryl was sitting, glaring icy daggers at Negan like one would look at an unworthy bug. “Picking on kids and women, just another faggoty pussy.”

 

“Do you want me to kill him, boss?” Dwight said as he moved quickly, pointing Daryl’s crossbow to his back and pushing him slightly with it. 

 

Dwight didn’t even realize his mistake until he was on his back, with an arrow pointed at his neck. “Think again, motherfucker.”

 

The sound of slow clapping made everyone look up—even Daryl and Dwight from where they had been lying on the ground with Daryl on top of the blond, his crossbow back in his hands as he threatened Dwight with his stolen weapon. “You, I like you,” Negan said, with Lucille under one arm.“You have guts, not like that pussy over there. Simon! Load him up!”

 

Daryl looked confused, his eyes searching Carol’s as several of Negan’s men grabbed him from behind. He started to thrash, yelling in pain when suddenly Dwight was there, slamming a knife to his shoulder as he helped the man who had pulled him off to push him inside a nearby van. He wanted to yell for Carol, wanted to at least get to see her one last time. He prowled the back of the van like a caged tiger, needing to see her, but the doors closed in his face. 

 

Maggie barely had enough time to grab onto Carol as they watched the saviors take Daryl away, the older woman’s cries mixed with hers as the man that meant so much to all of them was taken away. Now it was her holding onto Carol, it was her comforting Daryl’s woman and keeping her together, lending what strength she could. 

 

They were too self-involved  to pay attention to the women. That was their biggest mistake. While Rick looked defeated, Carol was glaring daggers at them while crying her heart out. They had taken her man, they had taken her soul mate. They were going to pay. A brand new day, Negan had called it, it was a brand new day… and he was going to find out soon enough that he had fucked with the wrong people.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late chapter. The second half of the week was a little bonkers, but hopefully we're back to one chapter every other day. 
> 
> With this we hit the halfway mark! Aren't you guys excited?!

**Chapter 8**

 

The moment they were left alone, Glenn crawled to Maggie’s side. The young couple fell into each other’s arms crying. In pain for what they had lost, and also in relief for still being there. “Maggie, Maggie,” Glenn kept repeating over and over again as his hands touched every part of his wife he was able to. “Are you alright? Are you in pain?”

 

Glenn realized then Maggie was indeed hugging him back, but only with one arm. She had yet to let go of Carol’s hand, Carol who was slumped forward, overcome with her own grief over all they’d lost that night . The sound of someone shuffling close drew Glenn’s eyes away from Carol, only to see Carl awkwardly move behind the older woman. He knelt behind her, his hands lingering over her shoulder for a moment before he slowly brought her towards his chest, wrapping her in his arms as he offered what comfort he could. 

 

“My sweet brave boy,” Carol mumbled as she finally raised her eyes from the ground, moving her hand to cradle Carl’s cheek. “She would have been so proud of you,  _ I’m _ so proud of you.”

 

“We’re going to get him back,” Carol continued, her voice losing all the gentleness she had displayed with Carl. “We’re going to make them pay.”

 

“Carol,” Rick said, as he staggered to his feet. “Carol.”

 

Carl helped Carol stand up, keeping an arm around her shoulders as they stood side by side looking at Rick. Rick who was there physically, but who had been broken beyond comprehension. 

 

“We need to prepare, we’re going to fight back.” At her words, she looked at every one of the people around her, at her broken family. “We’re going to make them pay for Abe, for Rosita, for whatever they might do to Daryl.”

 

“We can’t,” Rick murmured, taking a step closer to her, but taking two back as he was met with her icy glare. “They have Daryl, they say they would make me chop him into pieces, I can’t do it.”

 

“We’re not going to give them a chance to.”

 

“We need to get Maggie to the Hilltop.” 

 

“We need to go get ready, we’re going to war,” Carol hissed. Rick staggered away. If they weren’t all in shock, they would believe he was drunk. He was unstable on his feet, stumbling as if he was going to drop at any given moment. Carol gave Carl a look, nodding at him just as he went to catch his father before he face planted. 

 

Michonne gave Carol a knowing look. She was behind her. 

 

“Maggie and Glenn need to get to the Hilltop, that’s not negotiable,” Carol said, stopping to sniff back a little. She chuckled when she spotted Daryl’s red rag on the ground a few feet away from her. She moved quickly, picking it up and using it to dry her tears. “You two need to get there, take the truck he left us, we’ll get back on foot.”

 

“We can’t… you—” Maggie tried to say between gasps of air. 

 

“I’m not asking Maggie; you need to go there, you need to see the doctor.”

 

“I can’t,” Maggie sobbed, moving to grab Carol’s hands. “You were all out here because of me, they were all here because of me.”

 

“And that is of no importance. We need you healthy, we need that baby to be healthy.” Carol smiled at Glenn as he slowly pulled Maggie away from her, giving her a nod over Maggie’s head as his wife broke down all over again against his chest. 

 

Carol turned her eyes to the other woman left in their group. “Sasha, I’m—” 

 

“I’ll go with them,” Sasha said, interrupting Carol before she could say anything. “Just in case.” Her eyes moved from Carol to the broken body of the man she had just let into her heart. “I want to take him with me, I…” She gave Carol a sad smile, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. 

 

“Go. We’ll let you know what we decide to do. I promise you, he’ll get his due.” Carol grabbed Sasha's arm softly, giving her a comforting squeeze. 

 

The younger women started pouting, just as she pulled Carol close in a hug. “I’m sorry about Daryl,” Sasha whispered to Carol’s ear. 

 

“I’m sorry about Abraham,” Carol whispered back as she hugged her just as tightly. 

 

The two women shared a sad smile as they broke their hug just before moving towards the bodies. Carol’s heart ached as she looked at what was left of Rosita. The young woman had died just as she lived, fucking shit up. 

 

Rick acted like nothing of what they had discussed has actually transpired as he helped them get the two bodies to the back of the pick up truck Glenn, Maggie and Sasha would take to the Hilltop. It was decided they would have to bury Rosita at the Hilltop too, and Carol couldn’t help but see the irony in that. The man that hadn’t wanted her in life was going to have to be laid to rest for eternity next to her. 

 

Carol could feel her hands shaking as they watched Sasha drive away, Maggie looking back at her through the rear window. They needed Maggie to be okay, their baby meant something they needed now more than ever. 

 

Hope. 

 

They walked in silence back towards Alexandria. Michonne and Carol lead the way, throwing each other knowing looks. She knew she had people behind her, and their ‘leader’ might not be on board with her plan; but that didn’t matter. The time for doing things Rick’s way was over, it was their time now and they were going to do things their way. 

 

.-.-.-.

 

Simon was barely able to move away to avoid Daryl puking all over him as he opened the van’s back doors. Instead that honor fell on Dwight, who barely kept from doing the same. 

 

Daryl was pale and shaky, dropping to his knees as Simon hauled him off the truck. “Looks like your new pet isn’t house trained yet, boss,” Simon called out to Negan as the man got off one of the luxury vans they kept around and walked towards their newest acquisition. 

 

“Tiger here just had a hairball stuck in his throat. Didn’t you, you pussy?” Negan sneered, grabbing Daryl by his hair and pulling his head back. Daryl just sneered at the man, trying not to give away how much he hated to be touched by anyone who wasn’t Carol. 

 

He could feel as the blood continued to run down his left arm and over his chest. He was losing blood fast, probably why he had gotten motion sickness for the first time in his life. Probably why he wasn’t feeling as much need to fight back over the need to sleep. 

 

“Get him checked over by Carson,” Negan said to Simon, finally letting go of Daryl’s hair, and allowing him to slump over. “I don’t want to lose my new pet over some asshat who probably needs to learn a lesson.” 

 

Dwight tried not to flinch as he saw the look Negan was sending his way. “D! Get him settled in his cage, give him some catnip and a sandbox… we’ll start playing with him after he’s seen by the doctor.”

 

“And if you don’t play well with others…” Negan turned to look at Simon with a frown, “what is his name?”

 

“Daryl.”

 

“Nice name.” Negan put Lucille under Daryl’s chin, not taking the care of not touching his skin with it like he had done for Carol. “If you don’t play well with others, Daryl, we will neuter you and I will personally deliver your balls back to Rick on a silver platter.”

 

Chatting amongst themselves, Negan and his henchmen left Daryl on his knees in Dwight’s care.   

 

“Move,” Dwight sneered as he pushed him with the tip of his boot. Daryl growled at him. “Move!” Daryl flinched away when Dwight hauled him off the ground, helped by a fat man with a cap, and pushed him through a set of previously closed doors. 

 

The inside of the building was as awful as the outside. Dark and cold, it was everything Alexandria wasn’t. Daryl closed his eyes as he was pushed along, trying to not think about his home; trying not worry to death as he thought about what had happened to the others. What had happened to Carol. 

 

He knew she was going to come for him. He didn’t doubt she was going to barge right in and get him back to her side. Why he didn’t have any doubts? Because he would do the exact same thing. 

 

“What are you smiling at, you pussy?!” The fat man— Daryl thought he heard Dwight call him Joey—asked him. 

 

Daryl didn’t realize the mere thought of Carol had brought a smile to his face. “I’m thinking about how much I’m going to enjoy killing you all.”

 

Dwight chuckled, shaking his head just as he went to try and slam his crossbow into Daryl’s side. Daryl sidestepped him, pushing the crossbow down as he moved and slamming his elbow into Dwight’s face; grinning when he heard the sound of his nose breaking. 

 

“Haven’t you learned by now, D?” Daryl sneered the nickname Negan had used to call him right in his ear. “You can’t take me, boy.” 

 

He was expecting more of the Saviors now, and he thrashed around, lashing out as he felt them approach from behind. Someone yelled for the doctor, and Daryl fought with his remaining strength to keep them back. The last thing he remembered before darkness claimed him, was Dwight's bloodied face and the prick of a needle as someone injected him through his pants. 

 

He next woke up naked, the sound of loud music right in his ears. This was definitely not going to be an easy street. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

The sun was high in the sky by the time the group made it back to the road which led  to Alexandria’s main gate. They had gotten lucky and found a car which worked halfway through; Rick immediately took the wheel, the need to be in control of something visible on his face. 

 

Carol let him. She moved to the back seat with Carl, pulling the boy to her arms and letting him fall asleep against her. He wasn’t a boy anymore, he had proven that that morning. But he would always be Lori’s sweet little boy in her eyes, and she would always do anything in her power to protect him in any way she could. If that meant keeping the nightmares away for a few hours, letting him rest as he twisted that gangly body of his in the back seat with her, then that was enough for her. 

 

There was no other sound aside from the one from the air outside as Rick drove, the two women in the car lost in thought. Carol knew Michonne would be on her side; she was a fighter, a survivor. Negan had done what he had set himself up to do, break the men in their group. 

 

He had forgotten about the women though. Men like him always forget about the women. 

 

“We need to start planning the runs. He said he would give us a week, so we need to go and scavenge, be ready for when he comes with his people.” Rick looked at Carol in the rearview mirror, she was looking out the window, her left hand running through his son’s hair. 

 

He got no answer. He stole a look at Michonne, finding her looking forward, face blank. “We could try and pull out that truck that Jesus caused us to lose, some of the canned stuff might still be usable.” No answer. 

 

Rick huffed a weary sigh. “I know you want revenge, but he showed us today we have to comply. They have Daryl, and it would be terribly selfish of us to do something to put him in danger.” He looked in the mirror again, only to find Carol’s cold look fixed on him. 

 

He slowed down to a stop as he signaled Spencer to open the gate for them. “I’m just saying, we have to follow orders, at least I don’t want anything happening to Daryl if we don’t.” Rick actually turned back, between the two front seats to look Carol in the eyes, “I don’t think you would want anything to happen to him either.”

 

“Fuck you, Rick Grimes.” Rick was startled at Carol’s response, not expecting those words to come out of her mouth. “Fuck what you think I would want,” Carol hissed the words, before slowly pushing Carl off her lap as she opened the door and got out. 

 

She closed the door softly, walking away without looking back. She heard a second car door close behind her, and the rushed steps told her Michonne had needed to get away from Rick as much as she did. 

 

“What are we going to do?” 

 

Carol slowed down to wait for the younger woman to catch up, her steps sure as she led them to the armory. “First rule when it comes to dealing with men like Negan… we need to let him think he holds all the cards and that everything is his idea.”

 

-.-.-.

 

There was a weird taste in his mouth, Daryl noticed as he started to come about. He could feel the bitter taste of his own bile from when he had puked his guts out before he had been drugged. That, together with whatever he had been injected with, gave his mouth a taste of roadkill. 

 

His head was screaming at him as he pushed on the cold hard cement floor to try and get up. His right side throbbed, from his shoulder to his belly and he wondered if he had been beaten badly after they had subdued him. He was trying to focus on even the most mundane thoughts to keep himself from panicking over the fact that he was naked. 

 

It didn’t work. 

 

He huddled himself into a corner, hugging his knees to his chest as he tried to cover himself as best as he could. The walls trembled with the vibrations from the music playing at full volume, and Daryl wanted nothing more than to make it stop. They were out to break him, to make him succumb to a madman’s will, and so far … they were doing a pretty good job of it.  He was completely vulnerable.  Even Carol hadn’t seen him in such a state of undress and he was closer to her than anyone.

 

He had barely let her see his back, feeling the need to spare her from realizing the mess that he was, the mess that she was getting into. It was too late though; they both were in too deep for something like his scars to really matter. 

 

_ If _ he ever saw her again. 

 

The fucking song stopped for a few seconds before it started all over again. He wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The feeling of his bare skin touching the walls behind him made him want to puke all over again. He tried to breathe in, remembering what he had read in the fucking book he had stolen from the Atlanta shelter. 

 

He needed to center himself, needed to keep his wits about him if he wanted to not be a shadow of a man by the time Carol came for him. He had to keep that in his mind at all times. She was coming. He was going to see her again. He was going to get out of there. He was not going to let anyone keep them from finally doing what they should have been doing for a long time. 

 

His woman was a force of nature, and no one, not even Negan, was going to keep her away from him. 

 

The song started all over, and he shivered as the temperature started to drop. The music was going to stop at some point. Maybe not the first night, but with the volume they were playing it, the building wasn’t big enough to keep him far enough away that it wouldn’t drive everyone insane. 

 

He felt the gush of cold air as the door was opened for the first time since he had awakened. He could feel their eyes on him, and his skin began to crawl. He just huddled into a smaller ball as he hid his head between his knees. The feeling of something moist hitting him before it bounced to the floor, making him shudder. 

 

The door closed again, and he allowed a few tears to trek down his face. He had to make it, because he had promised her they had to survive.  _ They _ . 

 

-.-.-

 

She hadn’t crossed words with Rick since she’d told him off. The sun was starting to set in Alexandria, and Michonne had already left to try and talk to Rick. Carol was still in the armory, forging the new weapons inventory for when Negan and his goons came to knock on their door. 

 

Rick might try and play it like he knew what he was doing, but he didn’t. Not even close . He was still too traumatized over what had happened to two members of their family.

 

Negan would come in and find a reason to take everything from them. Because that’s what bullies do, they take everything from you, leaving you broken, bitter, and thinking there will never be a way out from under their thumb. The key point here would be to modify the inventory in such a way it was believable. That meant having to at least leave a third of their own guns, and three fourths of what they had taken from them in plain sight. 

 

Michonne was the one in charge of keeping everyone occupied so only the two of them knew about it. Olivia barely knew what the guns were called, she had been able to sneak them from under her nose once. This time around it would be even easier. 

 

“You’ll need a good place to hide them.” 

 

Carol turned on her heel, the gun she had been cataloguing pointing at the person who had sneaked up on her. 

 

“Rick told us what happened,” Gabriel said, his hands up as he watched Carol’s gun nervously. “I thought I would find you here.”

 

“Aren’t you going to tell me I’m going to hell for this? That we should turn the other cheek and all that?” Carol’s voice was devoid of feeling as she turned and continued with her task.

 

“Life has taught me differently. Your family has taught me differently. What  _ our family _ have gone through has taught me differently.” Gabriel moved so he was standing next to Carol, looking down at the weapons she was sorting through. “We’re not perfect, we make mistakes. But we don’t kill without a reason. These men do.”

 

“We need a place to hide them, a place they won’t think not even for a tenth of a second that could be hiding weapons. Because they’re going to come, and they’re going to take.”

 

“I think I have an idea…” 

 

-.-.-.

 

He couldn’t think about anything else. The music, the unforgiving coldness, the feel of concrete against his skin was so overwhelming, he couldn’t think of anything else . He could see the next day had broken, or had it? He wasn’t even sure anymore if he was actually awake, or maybe he was asleep and he was lost in the midst of a  nightmare from which there was no escape. 

 

He hadn’t realized someone else was in that room until he felt something jar his ribs.. He startled himself into slamming his head against the wall, making his vision swirl — and together with the pounding headache which hadn’t left him — made him dry heave more than once. 

 

The door was left open as the person moved away for a moment, but Daryl was so out of it, he didn’t even realize he had a shot at escaping. He was barely able to keep himself from puking his stomach out at this point. 

 

“Move!” 

 

Daryl grunted, flinching when Dwight made to grab him by the arm to drag him out. He glared at the blond, hissing at him like a cat when he tried to grab him once more. Dwight laughed at him, putting up his hands as he moved a couple of steps away from him. “Not going to touch you, as long as you fucking move!”.

 

Daryl took a deep breath, before he felt as his ‘walls’ came up. He walked out behind Dwight, naked for everyone to see; but with his mind far away from what was going on around him. He had learned to do that when he was a kid, back when his father would spend whole afternoons using him as an ashtray, or as a side table. He would do the exact same thing he was doing right then, he was putting a wall between himself and what was happening out there. He was closing himself off to the humiliation and the pain that what was happening to him brought with it. 

 

He remembered having read in his book about what he was doing, what he had learned to do in his childhood. How it wasn’t something weird’ it was a way of  protecting himself back then. It was a way of protecting the thing his Carol seemed so fond of, protecting what made him  _ ‘him’  _ from them. 

 

He felt like he could see what was going on from afar as Dwight lead him into the doctor’s office. He saw as the Doctor gave Dwight a disapproving look as he saw the state he was in. He saw as the doctor checked his wound, as he cleaned it. He saw as Dwight stole some lollipops from the jar; he saw as he was lead back to his cell. 

 

He saw as he was caged once again. 

 

He finally came back once he was alone again shuddering as he felt the cold of the cell in his own skin once again, the jolt of the music starting up again bringing him back. He crumbled into the ground, a huddled against the corner with his head between his knees.  He hid his cries for his mate in his arms as he used the music to drown his sobs. It took him a few hours to cry himself into unconsciousness. 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 

Three days. 

 

It had been three days since she had last laid eyes on Daryl. It felt like a part of her was missing, like she would not be complete again until he was beside her once more. It had been three days of constant fighting with Rick, of yelling matches in the middle of the street and one or two that almost escalated into a physical brawl. 

 

Carol had always been a bit on the petite side, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t strong.  She’d seen too much, suffered more than most, and it had bred an innate fire within her.  She wasn’t afraid — far from it — to take back what was hers. The fact that Rick didn’t seem to even have the inclination to join in her efforts to plan a way to get Daryl back? That irked her to no end. It was as if the man she had met outside of Atlanta almost two years ago—the man who would move heaven and earth for his family—was gone. 

 

She would rather think that, than to believe he didn’t consider Dayl his family. Because that would hurt more, to think Rick didn’t love Daryl the same way Daryl loved him. In Rick, Daryl had found the brother he had always longed for, the one that although sometimes still took advantage of him slightly, was one who lead him along right track. The one who unlike Merle  _ did  _ appreciate him as a human being. 

 

Sometimes she wondered, especially now, if things would have been different if Daryl hadn’t been there after Terminus. If he hadn’t been there to welcome her with literally open arms …  She had almost left then, but if he hadn’t been there, she wouldn’t even have bothered to try to get back to them. 

 

She loved her family, had learned to forgive Rick the same way he seemed to have forgiven her. No one was perfect, they were human, humans who had been put in impossible situations and had learned to deal with them as they continued to meander along the path fate had set them . 

 

But she honestly didn’t know if she would be able to forgive Rick for his inaction if something were to happen to Daryl. If something happened which irrevocably changed him, broke him —  because she wasn’t stupid — she knew her mate would have a long road ahead after whatever hell he was going through as they slept soundly in their comfortable beds, their bellies full and a roof over their heads. 

 

She didn’t care as long as there was something left of him, something she could help come back to her. Negan was going to try to break him— maybe he might even succeed— but as long as there was even a spark of her Daryl left in him, she was going to do everything in her to get him back. 

 

Daryl knew pain, and just like she did, he knew how to deal with people like Negan. After all they had lived with them for most of their lives… To think the overall question was,  _ how long would it take for Negan to get another soldier out of Daryl? _ To even consider a possible answer would be to undermine the person Daryl had become, to do a disservice of the man he had become. All this while the real question was,  _ what would Negan do when he realized Daryl would rather become the broken shell of a man than to betray his own people? _

 

She had moved out of the home she had shared with Rick, Michonne, Carl and Judith. She hadn’t done it during the worst of her depression, but she hadn’t been able to cope any longer. To see Rick happily kiss Michonne good morning the day before had been the straw which broke the camel’s back. 

 

Carol didn’t object to the happiness Rick had found with Michonne. Certainly not. It was that he had just seemed to forget his family was scattered around, lost and in need of a guide. She wasn’t the only one mad at their ‘leader’. It seemed whenever he wasn’t fighting with her, Rick was arguing with both Michonne and Carl. 

 

Carl had even sneaked in to sleep at Carol’s the night before, unable to reconcile who his father had become with the man he knew him to truly be. 

 

The young man had helped her move her and Daryl’s things the night before, bringing up reinforcements in the form of Aaron and Eric. Aaron had been hit hard by the fact that Daryl had been taken, and Carol had even considered talking to him about their little plan. 

 

But the less people who knew about it, the better. 

 

“Why does it smell like a bakery in here?” Michonne asked as she walked into Carol’s kitchen unannounced, both her katana and a duffle bag on her back. 

 

“I couldn’t sleep,” she lamented wryly.  “I refused to let my mind wander so I baked some cookies for Carl.”

 

“Some? These are enough for like half the town.”

 

“I stress bake.”

 

Michonne gave her a sad smile as she said the last part. “I’m going out. Please try not to kill him while I’m gone.”

 

“Can’t promise anything.” The two women turned sharply as they heard a second voice say the exact same words Carol had just said. Carl gave them a quick hug as he moved to the island where Carol had put the cookies and started scarfing one down. 

 

“Be good, both of you,” Michonne said with a last look before she left Carol’s house and Alexandria. She needed to do some practice shooting. 

 

-.-.-.

 

Dwight came earlier than usual. 

 

His whole body ached as he was pulled up by the back of his shirt and pushed to walk across the hallway. He was being led outside once again, and he tried to quench the slight panic that remembering what had happened out there the last time brought to his mind. 

 

Daryl grunted when Dwight slammed a pair of boots into his stomach, flinching away as the man lingered a little too long touching him. He silently put on the boots, feeling as the tendrils of that thing which pulled him away from himself seemed to grab his consciousness. 

 

He was once again not really there when Negan came to him. He knew in theory Negan was speaking to him, but all he could do was look at the ground and nod when he thought it was appropriate. He barely avoided puking his guts out once again as Negan grabbed him by the shoulder. 

 

The next thing he realized was their arrival outside of Alexandria. Everything seemed hazy, like he was in that place which existed between dreams and reality. He saw from behind one of the wall’s support beams as Negan taunted Rick, and he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to react.  

 

He could see things happening, but he just couldn’t react, couldn’t move. He knew if he did it would only hurt more. His family would hate him for being weak, they would be disgusted by how he wasn’t able to escape on his own. It would hurt a lot less to be stabbed again than to see disgust in their eyes. He would die a thousand times if he ever saw disgust in  _ her  _ eyes. It was like his mind gave a jolt as her eyes appeared in it, blue like the sky, strong like the sea in a storm. 

 

He hoped those eyes wouldn’t get to see him like this. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

She was talking with Gabriel, having just finished the latest part of their plan, when the commotion outside made the two of them look outside the window.  

 

Her heart skipped a beat as she saw people she didn’t know, but had seen only once just three days ago walking around their community. 

 

Just as she had anticipated, Negan had arrived earlier than the week he had given Rick. Negan was in their home, and with him her only connection to Daryl’s whereabouts. Gabriel and Carol shared a look. There was no need for words; they knew what they had to do. 

 

Nodding to Gabriel, Carol took a deep breath and pulled on the facade she had mastered many years ago. She was already wearing what Daryl had called ‘Suzy Homemaker’ clothes, had done so for the last three days. This was her armor, her Trojan horse, this was her camouflage . 

 

One of the women from the saviors sneered at her as she passed, but she just pulled her cardigan closer across her chest and walked with her head down. She was counting every single savior she passed, looking for Negan, looking for a clue as to where they could have Daryl.  

 

She heard Gabriel’s steps as he hurried to catch up with her. She looked up and saw in his face that there had been a change of plans, and she just rolled with it. 

 

“Someone mentioned Maggie, you need to play the part,” Gabriel muttered to her as he took her hand, putting it on the inside of his elbow as he patted it in a way it would look comforting to any onlookers. 

 

Carol nodded, taking a deep breath as she allowed some tears to gather in her eyes. She didn’t have to act for long, she knew it was him before she even got to see his face. He looked hunch over, as he lingered around Negan’s back. His hair, the hair she had just gotten to cut the day he was taken looked matted and full with God knows what. 

 

She didn’t know if she would be able to handle seeing his face.  

 

Gabriel and her crept closer, silently as Daryl had once taught her, only to hear Negan taunting Rick. She wouldn’t have messed with Rick either, not with the Rick from the prison, or Rick from when they first arrived in Alexandria. But as much as she hated to agree with him, that was definitely not the same Rick. 

 

“What happened to that sick girl? It must have been a really stressful night… she was a looker though, I would like to see her…”

 

Carol couldn’t pay attention to what Negan was saying anymore. Her eyes met Daryl’s and the tears which started to stream down her face, as she put a hand over her mouth to try and stifle her sobs, were very much real. 

 

“Would you like to pay your respects?” Gabriel said, as soon as the first sob escaped Carol’s mouth. 

 

“Holy crap!” Negan exclaimed as he turned to see Gabriel holding onto a crying Carol.

 

“We were on our way to pay ours…” Gabriel motioned with his head to the weeping woman in his arms. Carol meanwhile continued to sob, amping up the tears a little bit for the audience, but at the same time very much feeling the pain over the state of her mate. 

 

His eyes had seemed empty. 

 

-.-.-.

 

He saw  _ those  _ eyes. As if his mind had received a jolt of electricity, those eyes had pierced through the fog and into the deepest corners of his soul. Her tears had called out the part of him which belonged to her, and that part had rebelled against the clutches of what was keeping him back there. 

 

He wanted to go to her. She was crying in Gabriel’s arms, and Negan was too close to her for his liking. But he knew he couldn’t react, he couldn’t let them see how much he cared for her. If they knew, they would only use her against him, He would die before they touched a hair of her silver head because of him.

 

“Awww, granny.” Daryl had to quench the growl which threatened to claw its way from his chest as he saw Negan reach out and touch her cheek. “Why are you crying, sweetheart? Oh, shoot!” Negan said, fake pity lacing his tone  “That was your daughter, wasn’t it?”

 

“And her grandson,” Gabriel added, putting an arm around Carol’s shoulders and bringing her closer to him. “And her son in law.”

 

“Wait, what? Are you telling me the Chinese kid also kicked the bucket?”

 

Daryl clenched his jaw to keep himself from barking at him that Glenn was in fact Korean, and not Chinese. His heart ached at the possibility of that being true. 

 

Gabriel shook his head sadly. “She passed away from lack of medical treatment. We found him not long after…”

 

Carol chose that moment to let out another sob. 

 

“And they left you all alone in this cruel world?” Negan asked Carol softly, as if he really cared what happened to her. “Take me to pay my respects,” he ordered Gabriel, moving to Carol’s other side and taking her arm as if to give her support. 

 

Daryl followed diligently, his eyes on the ground as he tried to keep himself from giving them away. He was like a man dying of thirst in the desert, but what he needed wasn’t water, it was just another look at her eyes. 

 

-.-.-

 

She had to keep herself from retching as she allowed Negan to grab her arm as if he was a gentleman. This was the man who had killed two of her family members, the man who was keeping her wild mate captive. This was the man she was going to murder in the next few weeks. 

 

They made their way to their cemetery. Flanked by Gabriel and Negan, with Rick close behind and Daryl closing the group. She faltered in her steps a few times just to have a small reason to glance back. What she saw every time she did made up her mind even more. 

 

Carol sighed as they reached the gravesite. The gravesite where Daryl had buried Sam, where she had helped him bury Denise. The gravesite which hid their one chance of getting out from under Negan’s tyrannical rule. 

 

The gravesite where she was ‘mourning’ her family’s death. 

 

She let her knees give out, clinging onto Negan as he kept her upright. Men like Negan needed things like that, they needed to feel needed. They needed to think they kept the world turning. They needed to believe themselves important. 

 

And usually it was exactly that which brought them down. 

 

“It’s a damn tragedy, sweetheart.” Carol hid her cringe at the use of the petname Daryl had used for her so many times behind another bout of crying. “But what were you thinking, Rick? Taking a woman out in her condition, not cool, not cool at all.”

 

“I’m really sorry, Granny, dear,” Negan said, his arm around Carol’s waist, his eyes looking mockingly at Rick. “There are just some people, right?”

 

He chuckled, and Carol had to keep herself from elbowing him in the ribs with the hope of breaking one and making him choke on his own blood. She stole a look at Daryl, and she knew he felt the same way. 

 

“She was a beauty though, your daughter.” Negan shook his head, making a sound at the back of his throat. “It was a pity it happened, I was thinking of asking her to become one of my wives. Wouldn’t you have loved to have me as a son in law?”

 

Carol made a whining sound as she let more tears fall down her cheeks. 

 

“You know, this one is on you, Rick.” Rick’s eyes snapped back to Negan from where he had been staring at Carol as if trying to figure out what was going on. “Number one? That’s how we greet in person. Let’s call it our opening act, but number two? Three? And Four?” Negan pointed with his bat at each of the four new graves on the ground. “Those are on you, on your inability to follow fucking orde—”

 

Everyone’s heads turned towards the rest of the community when a lone shot rang out. Suddenly Negan’s mocking and playful demeanor disappeared and the sociopath he usually hid behind speeches and laughter was front and center. 

 

Carol tried not to shudder as Negan grabbed her hand and dragged her behind him. Her eyes meeting Daryl’s fleetingly as they passed him. The look in his eyes just strengthened her resolve. She was going to get him out of there, no matter the cost. 

 

What happened next was something Carol, Michonne, and Gabriel had known was inevitable. Negan demanded Rick to hand over all of their weapons. He had used Carl’s actions as an excuse, but they had known it was going to be his next move. It went against his own well being to have them armed and ready to fight. To have them ready to get up in arms as soon as their leader got his balls back. 

 

And as good chess players they were a move ahead of their opponents.

 

She watched from afar, after Negan had finally said goodbye with a wink, as they made Daryl toil as a workhorse. Hauling things, head down, following orders. Her heart seized as she saw Negan point a gun at Daryl right in front of Rick... and see Rick do nothing. Negan had Rick exactly where he wanted him; he had him paralyzed with fear. 

 

She wasn’t afraid though. She— unlike him— had been forged in steel by her past experiences, and would never bow for a man like Negan again. Even if it meant her life. 

 

Her hands were shaking as she hurried back to her house, trying not to think the worst, when she heard a shot ring out. Negan wouldn’t kill Daryl when he was serving the purpose he had taken him for. The man might be a conceited sociopath with a narcissistic complex the size of a house, but he was not stupid.  

 

It felt like forever by the time she was back at the armory, a tupperware of cookies in her hands as she approached the hated man. Negan was looking at Rick, gun still in his hand. 

 

“Cookies?” Carol offered. 

 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Negan said, grinning at her as he tucked the gun he had fired in the back of his pants, “did you bake these?”

 

Carol, not forgetting her role as meek housewife, nodded while not making eye contact. She felt like she could breathe again when she saw Daryl walk on by. He hadn’t been shot, she had been right. 

 

“Holy Mother of Fucking God!” Negan exclaimed, after he bit into one of the cookies. “These  are the best fucking cookies I’ve ever eaten in my whole life!” 

 

Negan had just started to reach for another cookie when the sound of Olivia’s voice made them all look towards the stairs which led to the armory. There the only female Savior Negan had with him dragged the Alexandrian up the stairs.

 

“Please, I don’t know how it happened, please!” Olivia begged as she was pushed to stand in front of Negan. 

 

Negan must have noticed Carol’s look of concern because he quickly intervened. 

 

“Arat!” Negan barked, “we don’t do that to people! Not unless they have done something to deserve it!” He took the time to give Carol a small smile before he returned his attention to Arat and Olivia. 

 

“We checked the guns in the inventory, counted the ones from here and from the wall. They’re short,” Arat said as she pulled the inventory from where she was keeping it under her arm. 

 

Carol felt as if her heart was going to burst from her chest as she tried to make mental calculations of the guns they had taken. There was no way they had an older inventory, she had made sure of that. She had even taken the time and patience to copy everything Olivia had in that old notebook, with a penmanship that was exactly like hers. 

 

“A glock nine and a twenty two bobcat.” Negan nodded as Arat told him what was missing. 

 

And unknown to them both, Carol’s heart started beating at a normal rhythm once more. 

 

“Is that true?” Negan asked Rick, and Carol took a step further away. She did what she had done for almost half of her life, she just blended into the background. 

 

“We had some people leave town, they must have taken those with them,” Rick answered.

 

Carol sighed knowing that wasn’t going to be an answer which appealed to a man like the one in front of them. 

 

“So you’re saying Olivia sucks at her job?” 

 

Carol closed her eyes, Rick had no idea how to deal with men like Negan. He had no idea the best way to do so was to just accept whatever he said; there was no winning with questions like those. 

 

“Is that what you’re saying?” 

 

That argument was either going to finish with somebody dead, or Rick learning yet another lesson he wasn’t likely to forget. And Carol wished it wasn’t the former. She really hoped it wasn’t the former. At least not right now. 

 

She watched the scene unfold, watched as Rick talked himself into a corner and as Negan manipulated the situation. She studied him. She confirmed her suspicions. 

 

They were all one and the same. Negan, Ed, Shane, even Rick at times. And they never see it coming until it’s too late. 

 

Rick ushered her into the church as the Saviors rounded up the rest of the Alexandrians. Negan had taken the plate of cookies and sent her on her way with a smile. Meanwhile, Olivia was close to having a mental breakdown as she waited for what her fate would be. And he did it all with the same smile on his face. 

 

One by one the rest of the community joined in. Carl found her amidst it all and sat beside her, his lanky hand taking hers and squeezing encouragingly. Carol smiled softly at him, squeezing back. She knew this boy, knew he was going to be blaming himself for what had happened. 

 

“He was just looking for a reason,” Carol whispered, leaning close to Carl so only he could hear her. “He had that planned from the beginning. Why bring all those trucks with him if he hadn’t?”

 

Carl just nodded, squeezing her hand again as he kept his eye on his dad. Rick was pacing at the front of the church, before moving to check every window and the door, making sure they were truly alone. Just like Negan had promised him they would be. 

 

Carol listened to Rick’s spiel. She listened with incredulity as the man she had met in Atlanta basically told them they were at the Saviors’ mercy. He spoke of no chance of winning, of total submission. She felt her stomach churn with disgust.

 

She had submitted enough for a lifetime already. 

 

Carol watched as Scott, one of the friendliest Alexandrians, stood up and tried to talk to Rick. To reason with him. Unsurprisingly, Rick didn’t change his posture nor his stance on the topic of discussion. 

 

“Most of you weren’t out there, you didn’t have to watch.” Rick continued to pace in front of them, eyes searching each individual. “You can look away now as someone else dies, or you could help solve this.”

 

“Will it really? Solve this?” All eyes turned to Carol as she asked from where she was sitting. “Do you really believe, Rick, after everything we’ve seen that he won’t kill anyone else?”

 

“Carol…” Rick said, sighing before he brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Now is not the time,” he hissed.

 

“The time for what, Rick?” Carol slowly stood up. “You said it, they weren’t there so they don’t know what it feels like. But  _ I _ was.”

 

Rick shook his head, anger clear in his stance as his face started turning red. Carol saw him open his mouth to say something, and hurried to continue. 

 

“Have you even told them what happened? Do they know what a megalomaniac this man is? How he used a nursery rhyme to torture us with the pretense of choosing who he was killing?” She could feel as the atmosphere around them changed, and she realized they hadn’t known the details. They didn’t know how bad things actually were, and all because Rick had yet again withheld information from them. 

 

“Have you told them how after bashing Abraham’s brains in he taunted Rosita? And how she wasn’t taking any of his shit, and that’s why he killed her too?” Her eyes had never left Rick’s until that moment.

 

“He’s not going to stop, he’s going to find reason after reason to make our lives miserable.” She looked around her, making eye contact with as many people as she could. “Today we need to comply, because we already let the fox into the hen’s nest, but that doesn’t mean it will have to be this way always.”

 

“Carol!” Rick barked, reaching her in two steps, glaring. “Stop it.”

 

“Or what, Rick? You’re going to tell Negan what I’ve said?” Carol angrily exclaimed, careful to keep her voice leveled so it didn’t reach beyond those walls. “Are you going to sacrifice me for the greater good just as you’re doing with Daryl?”

 

Rick clenched his jaw, glancing away for a moment before looking back at her. She wasn’t afraid of him, she was glad in a way to see some of the old Rick behind that glare. Even if it was focused on her; it meant he was still there, somewhere. 

 

“This is not the time, or place,” Rick hissed at her, his chest heaving as he spoke. 

 

“No, that will be when he’s presented to us in pieces.” 

 

Silence reigned upon the church as her words rang out. Everyone shifted nervously as the two of them stood face to face, neither giving an inch. 

 

Until Rick looked away first. 

 

“If anyone is going to get him killed, it will be you.” Rick’s voice was matter of fact, and it chilled Carol to the bone. “He will die, and it will be on you Carol.”

 

“He would rather die fighting, than to live under the rule of someone like Negan.” 

 

“Keep telling yourself that when he’s presented to you in a body bag.”

 

The sound of her hand slapping Rick resounded across the room. “You’re nothing Rick Grimes, you’re nothing but a broken man who plays at being the leader. Who bends at the first sign of struggle.” Carol saw as Rick’s eyes tightened. “You forget, I know what happened at the prison. This is you negotiating with the Governor all over again.” Carol’s voice broke as tears gathered in her throat. “People will die either way, Rick, and I would rather go down fighting than bow down and become Negan’s bitch.”

 

With those words, Carol pushed Rick away making him stumble a couple of steps as she stormed out of the church. No one tried to stop her.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

She made it to her home without any delays. She still wasn’t sure how that happened, since she had put on the character she was playing as soon as she stepped out of that church. She didn’t want them to see her as a threat. She didn’t want them to see her coming. 

 

When they realized what she would do for her family, for her Daryl? It would be too late. 

 

Her home had been ransacked as had every other house in Alexandria. She didn’t have a real attachment to the place, but it was still annoying to have to pick up the mess the Saviors had left behind them. 

 

She groaned in annoyance as she noticed that whatever cookies she had baked that morning, what she had left from the batch she had taken to Negan, were gone. 

 

“Knock, knock.” Carol tensed as she heard Negan at her front door.  She centered herself before moving to the door she had closed behind her when she’d arrived. 

 

Carol didn’t make eye contact as she opened the door in a silent invitation he didn’t hesitate to  accept. 

 

“Nice place that you have here, darling.” Carol looked up fleetingly, giving him a small smile which seemed to hit her target. “I’m sorry about the mess, I’ll tell the boys to be more careful in the future.”

 

“It’s alright,” Carol mumbled as she moved around, picking up throw pillows and putting them back on the couch. She could feel his piercing gaze as he watched her move around, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. He had nothing to be suspicious of; to him she was nothing but a distraught older woman who had been left with no one to protect her in this new cruel world. 

 

She was indeed an older woman, but she didn’t need protection. She hadn’t needed it in a long time now. 

 

“I was thinking of redecorating anyway,” Carol added meekly as she looked in pretend mourning to a vase which had been thrown to the ground in the Saviors’ haste to get things done. “Too many memories.” 

 

“Rick shouldn’t have had them out there that night,” Negan said as he lounged on her couch, looking at her upside down as he rested his head against the back of the couch while she tried to clean up the mess on the kitchen. “I really mean it darling, I am sorry for your loss.”

 

Carol had to grind her teeth, giving  him her back as she put the dirty bowls in the sink. Her hands gripped the counter hard enough to turn her knuckles white. She heard him move, and made sure she was as relaxed as possible by the time he made it to her side. 

 

“I could use someone like you at the Sanctuary,” Negan said softly as he stood next to her, looking to her backyard through the window. “Those were definitely some of the best cookies I’ve ever eaten, and if you can cook like that with what they have here? I can only imagine what you could do with what we have.”

 

“I can’t leave,” Carol said tearfully as she turned to look at him, her lip quivering, “Rick wouldn’t let me.” 

 

And just like that, all plans changed. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

All she had found was the backpack Carl had brought with him the night before. Carol sighed as she looked the empty house over for a last time. Her eyes lingering on Carl’s hat where it sat on the living room table. 

 

The backpack was heavy at her back as she started to make her way towards the main gate.  She had stuffed it with all the baking utensils she had at the house, together with some of the ingredients she had there. After all, sugar was a commodity, and if she was being moved to the Sanctuary because of her baking abilities, there was no real reason why she would leave her things behind. 

 

They were gathered at the front gate when she arrived. The door was open, and Daryl was standing there looking lost as Negan hummed a song under his breath. 

 

“Ahhh my new cook!” Negan exclaimed as he watched her approach him, opening his arms as though he were inviting her into a hug. She didn’t move any closer. “What do you have there, honey?”

 

She tried to keep her facade, wanting to look at Daryl, to touch him when he was standing less than three feet away from her, but she didn’t. She meekly took off her backpack and offered it to Negan. “Some baking supplies. I don’t know what you have, but there’s no such thing as too much sugar.” 

 

Negan chuckled as he opened her backpack, taking out a tupperware with sugar and shaking it just before he put it back and closed it. He threw the bag to Daryl, who was barely able to catch it since he was pretending not to pay attention to the whole exchange. 

 

He was in fact paying attention, and he was seething inside. He had thought he was empty, devoid of  any emotion but despair and sadness. But that? Seeing Carol basically offer herself to the wolves? That had him shaking with repressed anger. If they got out of this alive, he was going to bind her to his side and never let her out of his sight. 

 

The sound of angry footsteps made them all look at the newcomer. Michonne was marching in, a doe over her shoulders, a glare on her face. Carol was able to see - in a fraction of a second - where she faltered at seeing her there, not expecting such a development. 

 

But they were strong.  There had been an understanding between them from the beginning and without even another look, Carol knew Michonne had it under control. She would pick up where they’d left off, and they would be okay. 

 

They had to be. 

 

Rick didn’t meet her eyes when he approached Negan, his eyes down, defeated. “She didn’t know you were here.  She spent the day outside, hunting, scavenging.” Carol looked at Rick as he continued to grovel at Negan, and her exasperation with the man grew. “This never made it inside, we keep it on the outskirts, just in case.”

 

And just like that, Rick delivered their last known weapon to the enemy. 

 

“Look at that,” Negan chortled, grinning. “That’s how you build a relationship. Good for you, Rick.” Negan moved to put an arm around Carol’s shoulders. “This is how it’s done, sweetheart.  This right here is telling me I have Rick’s balls in the palm on my hand. He finally got the message.”

 

Rick just nodded, sighing as he tried to keep the shame - which came with having to submit - in front of the three most important grown ups in his life, at bay. 

 

“Now that you know we can follow your rules …” Rick stopped, not completing his phrase as he needed a moment to swallow the knot at the back of his throat. 

 

“Yes?” Negan asked, still grinning as he saw how uncomfortable Rick was. 

 

Rick finally raised his eyes to meet Negan’s dead on. “I would like to ask if Daryl could stay?”

 

Carol wanted to shake her head and ask Rick if he really had no grasp of the current situation. Not in a million years would Negan let go of Dayl, not when he saw how much Rick wanted him back, not while there was any chance of Rick actually growing some balls once again. 

 

“Not happening,” Negan answered without a moment’s hesitation. “You know what?” He added as he pushed Carol in front of him. “Just because of that? Because of that lack of respect you just showed me? I’m taking your cook with me.”

 

Carol tried not to feel bad for Rick as she saw his face crumble, his eyes meeting hers, and she tried to convey she was fine with the decision, that she had a plan; she always had a plan. 

 

But he wasn’t getting it. He looked heartbroken, like he was going to start crying right in front of Negan. And as much as they butted heads? As much as they might yell and curse at each other? He was still her friend, the closest thing she had ever had to a brother. And she was not going to let the madman at her back have yet another one over him. 

 

So, she finally intervened. 

 

“I need this, Rick,” she said, taking a step forward, tensing as she felt Negan’s hesitation in letting her go before he took a step back and allowed her to approach her leader. “There are too many painful memories here. I can’t sleep, I can’t even think.” 

 

Rick looked confused, her voice breaking as she spoke to him. She just hoped he remembered what their cover story was. 

 

“Everywhere I look, I see them. I can’t continue to live like this, I don’t want to.” She opened her arms for Rick, and he almost fell into them, burrowing his face in her shoulder. “Tell Carl I love him, and that he left his hat on my table.”

 

“So you see, Ricky!” Negan exclaimed from behind them, his voice loud enough for everyone around them to hear. “I’m doing you yet another favor. I’m taking away another mouth that you have to feed. I’m going to start charging you room board for these two!” 

 

Carol pulled away from Rick, walking backwards until she stumbled with Daryl who was standing a few feet behind her. His free hand moving quickly to steady her at her hip, giving her a quick squeeze before he retreated as if burnt. 

 

“I’m just magnanimous sometimes!” Negan laughed at his own joke. “So now, Ricky, you need to climb up on that big ass fence of yours and get out there to get me more shit. Because we’re coming back soon, and you better have something interesting for us.” He turned to look at Carol over his shoulder, winking at her. “Although I doubt you could top that! If she was only twenty years younger!” 

 

“I’m going to repeat this to you, Rick. You better have something interesting for me the next time we come, because if you don’t? Someone is going to die.” 

 

Rick just nodded sharply. 

 

“Arat!” Negan yelled at the girl in the back. “Grab that deer, it’s getting late, and we need to be getting home.”

 

Rick watched with red rimmed eyes as both Carol and Daryl were ushered towards the Saviors vehicles. Carol took a moment to look over her shoulder at him, and Rick could barely hold back tears. 

 

“So you see?” Negan talking to him brought him out of his reverie. “Nobody died!” There was a mocking celebratory tone in Negan’s words that - in any other given day - would have had Rick grinding his teeth. “And I think you and I … we have a better understanding of each other.”

 

Negan started walking backwards, towards the front of one of the trucks before turning back and jogging the few steps he had put between them. “You didn’t think I would leave Lucille, did you?” He laughed as he extended his hand for Rick to pass his weapon back to him. “Now, just say the magic words and we’ll be on our way.”

 

Rick took a deep breath, closing his eyes before opening them to see Michonne in the background looking murderous. “Thank you.”

 

“No, Thank you!” Negan answered laughing as he started to move to the truck once again. Negan suddenly stopped, chuckling as he turned to look at Rick - pointing Lucille at him- “Do you know what this is?” 

 

He used Lucille to motion at the small army that had stormed into Alexandria, “that was me sliding my dick down your throat, and you just thanked me for it,” Negan chuckled once more. “You’re finally learning what your mouth should be doing, and that’s is not biting dicks, Ricky.. Tootles!”

 

Rick watched as Negan’s truck was the first one to leave, followed by the one which carried Carol and Arat in the front, and had Daryl sitting at the back. Rick watched them leave with a heavy heart, and a heavier conscience. 

 

He closed the gate behind the last truck, and finally let a solitary tear fall.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 

They had left him on his own. 

 

As soon as the screen at the main gate was closed, Rick had fallen onto his knees and wept. He had lost not only Daryl, but now Carol was also a prisoner of that madman. He had done everything Negan had asked of him, had groveled, basically begged for him to leave them alone, and what had been the result? 

 

His two best friends were gone. 

 

Michonne hadn’t even tried to approach Rick as he knelt staring forlornly at the closed gate. There was work to be done, and if Rick wasn’t up to the task, then it would be down to her; especially now with Carol gone. She had no idea what had happened, and she really needed to have someone bring her up to speed on the situation. 

 

She would have to leave Rick to mourn on his own while she tried to come up with a backup plan. Good thing they had finished hiding the weapons the night before. She glared at Spencer as she passed him. He was looking shifty and she knew she would have to talk about him with Rick sooner or later. 

 

Mostly later. 

 

Gabriel was outside his church, moving what the Saviors hadn’t taken, but left outside, back in. 

 

“Carol’s gone.” Michonne didn’t even wait to greet him before she started speaking. “What the hell happened? I get back and suddenly Rick is forcing me to give up my weapon, Carol is ready to leave, and Daryl looks even dirtier than usual?”

 

Gabriel stopped, closing his eyes and sighing as he raised his face to the sky. “The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of God.”

 

Michonne watched as it seemed as though Gabriel transformed right in front of her eyes. When he opened his eyes once again, gone was the fearful man they had met all those months ago. In his place was the man Carol had been talking to for the last few days, the man who’d come up with the hiding place to make Carol’s plan possible. And she understood why Carol had seemed to trust him after the shit he had pulled not so long ago. 

 

He was their brother, and he was just as willing as they were to protect their family. 

 

“We had to improvise,” Gabriel explained as he started walking towards Carol’s place with Michonne. “They got the drop on us, and Carol was barely able to fake it when she realized Daryl was with them.”

 

“Somebody died?”

 

Gabriel shook his head at Michonne’s question. “They held Olivia captive because there were two guns from the inventory missing. Apparently, Spencer took them after Carol finished copying the list .”

 

“Son of a bitch,” Michonne muttered as she stopped in the middle of the street, a hand covering her mouth as she tried to take a deep breath, barely keeping herself from storming over to kick Spencer’s ass. 

 

“That’s not the worst part…” Gabriel let the sentence hang open as he gave Michonne a look. At her nod he continued. “Negan used something Carl did as an excuse, and that led to Rick and Carol fighting again.”

 

“Just before she ended up being taken away…” Michonne mumbled, grinding her teeth as she looked around them as if trying to find Rick among the people on the streets. He wasn’t there. “Did you know?”

 

“No, but I had my suspicions that it was going to happen. Negan took a shine to her.” At Michonne’s face, Gabriel added. “He’s too narcissistic to think of her like that. She’s too old in his mind, he thinks himself a Savior, and she’s been playing the perfect damsel in distress.”

 

“Carol mentioned…” Michonne stopped a moment, as if letting the words linger in her mind for a moment, like she was making sense of what she was about to say. “When she was saying goodbye to Rick, she mentioned Carl’s hat.”

 

“Do you think-” 

 

Gabriel didn’t finish his sentence since Michonne was already sprinting towards Carol’s home. 

 

-.-.-.

 

It took them ages to leave her alone. 

 

She had been paraded around the Sanctuary on Negan’s arm, a fake smile on her face as she greeted every person he introduced her to. She met his wives, four beautiful young women who made her heart hurt. She was not living under the understanding they were there by choice, not after she met Sherry; the same Sherry from Daryl’s story. 

 

Her smile didn’t falter, even if her heart did. This was the woman who, together with Dwight, had betrayed Daryl’s trust. It had been  _ her  _ husband who had killed Denise. 

 

Or her former husband from what she was being told.

 

She was shown what was going to be her working area - a kitchen near Negan’s quarters-before she was finally shown into her room. Her room which didn’t smell of Daryl. 

 

She hadn’t been able to see him since they’d parted ways back in Alexandria. She had been pulled into the cab of the truck Arat was driving, while he’d been thrown into the back of another one. And as soon as they had gotten to their destination, he had been put to work while she was paraded around like Negan’s new prize . 

 

At least they had given her backpack back. The bag was sitting in the middle of the single bed which was to be hers while she was staying there. There wasn’t a bathroom. If she wanted to relieve herself or shower, she would have to go to the communal showers. And with the men-women ratio in this community, something was telling her she was going to want to avoid that like the plague. 

 

She could faintly hear the sound of music coming from nearby, and she itched to investigate. She hadn’t been told she could go out of her room and explore; but she hadn’t been told she couldn’t either. She had been basically deposited into her room by Arat, who apparently Negan had chosen as her bodyguard, and told to be ready the next morning to begin preparing the food for the higher ups. 

 

Her steps echoed through the long hallway, the music becoming louder with every step she took. It wasn’t until then that she realized the song was on repeat, the music fading away before starting all over again. 

 

She felt like someone had pulled the rug from under her feet as she reached a lone door, probably what once had been a supply closet, and she just knew. Based on the big lock on the outside, she knew her mate was behind that door. 

 

She could see herself breaking the lock, opening the door and getting the hell out of there with him. She wished she could say ‘the hell’ with everything and just take him with her and help him heal from all his wounds. But she couldn’t, there wouldn’t be a place for them to hide as long as Negan was out there. No one in their family would be safe as long as that madman was on the loose. 

 

She just wished she could at least see him. Touch his hair. Kiss his cheek. Let him know that no matter what had happened, no matter what, he was so loved. She knew him probably better than he knew himself, just like he knew her. And she knew he tended to take everything so personally; he took every loss personally whereas he wouldn’t claim being responsible for their victories. 

 

She was so close she could almost touch the door with the tip of her fingers. 

 

“Hey!” A male voice made her jump in alarm, turning to look at where the voice had came from. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing down here?” 

 

When she turned, she was met by the greasy blond - haired man who dared to wear her love’s vest. 

 

“I-I..” Carol stuttered, her hand over her chest as she pretended to be more scared than she actually was. “I just heard the music, and I wanted to ask whoever had it on if they could maybe turn it down?”

 

“Go back to your room,” Dwight sneered as he gestured with his hands. Carol flinched away when one of his hands got too close for comfort. “Unlike the boss, I don’t fucking trust you, lady. If I ever see you around his cell again, I won’t be so lenient.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Carol mumbled, trying to keep herself from smacking that skinny little asshole. “I had no idea, I just wanted to get some sleep.” She just hoped her tears and her voice breaking were enough to make the impact she was looking for. 

 

She saw him falter for a second, and knew she had him. 

“Just go back to your room before someone else finds you…” he didn’t finish his sentence, his attention no longer on her but on someone or something further behind her. “Just get back to your room, I’ll take care of the music.” 

 

Carol nodded, turning slightly to try and catch a look at whomever was waiting for Dwight. All she got to see was the shadow of a woman walking through one of the side doors which led to the stairs. Dwight didn’t even give her a second look before moving to follow her. 

 

She hid behind a corner as she waited for him to fully disappear from her sight. 

 

Should she try and let Daryl know that she was out there? Should she risk it … for him to know she was not giving up on him? On them?

 

The sounds of footsteps down the hall took the choice away from her. Her fingertips brushed the door as she hurriedly walked back to her room. 

 

Five minutes after she arrived, the music stopped.

 

She smiled. 

 

-.-.-.-.

 

The music stopped. 

 

Daryl was startled by the silence as his heartbeat resounded in his ears. For the first time in days, all he could hear inside his cell was the beat of his own heart. 

 

He sat back, resting his head against the wall behind him. He tried to control his breathing, the sudden change causing his chest to clench with unknown panic. Why had it stopped? What did Negan have planned for him now?

 

There were so many things he could do to break him now. All Negan needed was to threaten Carol and he would sing like a fucking bird. 

 

He had wanted to put his hands around Negan’s neck and watch as the life left his eyes when he’d watched him dare to touch his Carol. He wanted to yell, kick, maim, and kill whoever dared to look at her wrongly. He wanted her away from him, far away so she would never have to deal with any of this. Far enough away that Negan wouldn’t be a present threat to her. 

 

But he was selfish. He wanted her next to him, to soothe his broken spirit and bring him back to life. He wanted to feel her soft hands in his hair, her sweet scent rubbing off on him; he wanted to wake up with her in his arms and never let go. 

 

He should have kissed her when he’d had the chance. All those missed opportunities... he should have told Rick to fuck off, grab her by the waist and slam his lips to her; he should have cradled her cheek in his hand and softly brushed his lips over hers. He should have voiced all his hopes and dreams, all the feelings he always assumed were obvious to her. 

 

He should have told her those three little words he had known had only ever belonged to her. 

 

His throat hurt as he tried to quench the sob threatening to burst out of his chest. There was no music to hide behind, nothing which with to muffle his cries. The silence he had longed for seemed more torture than blessing. 

 

Daryl laid down on the floor, his back to the door; arms around his head as he tried to fall asleep. The music no longer silenced the sounds which resounded inside his head...the sound of Negan’s bat beating against Abraham’s skull, the pained cries of Rosita as she breathed her last, and Carol’s muffled whimpers as she was forced to watch. 

 

Light started to filter under the door before he was able to doze off. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

Jesus loved his new friends. 

 

It wasn’t that he was happy they had to look for their help, or were having to basically hide away at the Hilltop from the madman Negan was. He was not happy for the loss of Abraham and Rosita, as little as he had gotten to know them, nor was he happy for the terrible sadness Sasha carried  deep in her soul since that night. He wasn’t happy Maggie had almost lost her child, or that Daryl had been taken as a prisoner of war when there wasn’t a Geneva convention in place anymore. 

 

But he couldn’t help but be happy for the new people in his life, friends if he could be so bold to call them that already. For the first time since the turn, since the whole madness had started, Jesus was feeling as part of something truly bigger than himself. He was feeling part of a family instead of being relegated to just another henchmen. He felt appreciated as a person, and not just for what he could bring to the community. 

 

It didn’t hurt that Maggie was a force to be reckoned with, and she had definitely taken Gregory’s measure. The man was losing power over the people with every day which passed. Every day Maggie, Glenn, and Sasha spent at the Hilltop was a day closer to when Gregory was finally overthrown. 

 

And when it happened, he was going to be first in line to support whoever took his place. He wasn’t a leader, and he felt for the first time he had found his place in this world. 

 

Whenever Maggie decided they were leaving, that it was time for them to go back to the rest of their family … Jesus was going with them.

 

He had found a family, something Paul Rovia had longed for way before the turn.  And he was not going to give it out without a fight. 

 

-.-.-.

 

Three days. 

 

Michonne watched Rick’s back as they laid down on the pallet he had created for them in their room. He looked defeated, even in sleep. It had taken him a long time to get back inside after Negan had left. After Negan had taken his two best friends from right under his nose. 

 

Three days. 

 

It had been a somber dinner. Neither of the three grown ups making any sound over the scraping of forks on the plates as they enjoyed what Carol had been cooking that morning. Carl hadn’t raised his eyes to his father, choosing to actually leave the table - and the house- before they had finished their meal. 

 

Three days. 

 

Michonne and Rick had gone to bed, after making sure Judith was settled. They’d barely exchanged words as they had undressed, kneeling down on the floor before trying to find a comfortable position without a proper bed. It was funny how people got used to the good things in life fairly quickly. A good mattress, three meals a day; a family that wasn’t broken. 

 

Three days. 

 

Rick was far away in a place Michonne couldn’t follow, a place Michonne had told herself she would never go back to. His eyes said it all. He hadn’t told her, but she just knew things between Rick and Daryl hadn’t been at it’s best before he was taken. Just like things weren’t at his best with Carol. 

 

Three days. 

 

Michonne sighed before she silently stood up, leaving the room she shared with Rick and going down the stairs. Silently she left the house, moving in the darkness to Carol’s house. It was time. 

 

Three days had been all Carol had written on that note. Three days with which to rally the troops. Three days before they defied the titan who appeared to be Negan and his men. 

 

Three days. 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 

They had absolutely everything she needed to cook whatever Negan’s appetite might fancy. She had prepared his breakfast, just as he liked it, and sent it to him only to get a summons from the man himself. 

 

Chef clothing had been waiting for her in the kitchen, and she had changed into those knowing she needed to appeal to the sociopath who ran the place. Dressed in the little chef’s outfit, she had stood in front of him as he congratulated her for an amazing meal, grinning at her as if she should be proud of herself. As though she hadn’t spit into his food as much as she’d been able. 

 

She had been sent back to the kitchen with a menu for the day, and free range of any fresh produce there in the Sanctuary. They had given her two helpers, two young boys probably the same age as Carl. 

 

Boys who happened to be the younger siblings of one of Negan’s wives. Two boys who just as their sister, just as her and Daryl, were prisoners within those walls. 

 

There was a clear separation of the Saviors and the people who worked for them. The main floor of what had appeared a flea market, making it obvious. People worked, and the Saviors took. Just as they did with the communities, they did with their own people. 

 

By lunch, she had counted around thirty people she knew they’d have to get rid of. People were loose-lipped when they didn’t notice you, when you were nothing to them. She was just the help, just Negan’s personal cook. 

 

She had gotten glimpses of Daryl throughout the day. He had been made to work on the yard with the walkers when she happened to be out looking for the freshest batch of carrots. She’d seen him again, mopping the main floor as Negan punished people. But he was there. 

 

As long as he was alive, there was a chance for them. As long as they were alive there was hope for them. 

 

“Sweetheart!” Negan exclaimed as he opened his arms and watched her walk behind the two boys who carried his food. “What delicious delicacy did you prepare for me this afternoon? I hope you made enough for the boys too?” 

 

He motioned to the group of men behind him, and Carol glanced at them coyly, almost shyly as she assessed them. One of them she knew from that night at the clearing, the man who had taken Daryl away, Simon. There were other two men, and there was Dwight. 

 

Fucking Dwight. 

 

“I did,” she said softly, her smile directed only at Negan. “I made BBQ pork chops, using what was provided for us from the Kingdom.”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Negan yelled, laughing as he moved to sit on the table, patting his belly in an almost cartoonish way as he waited for the boys to put the plate in front of him. “This is exactly why I wanted you here, sweetheart,” he mumbled with his mouth full. “This is what people like us deserve, don’t we boys?” 

 

Carol’s heart beat faster as she spied Daryl standing at the back of the room, almost hidden like part of the furniture, between the curtains. Their eyes met, and the world faded away for a thousandth of a second. 

 

It was just the two of them in the room. How are you? I love you. I’m sorry. I love you. All those messages seemed to travel between them in that moment, before Carol’s attention returned to  the men in front of her. 

 

“The boys will bring the rest in a second. Will I be serving your wives too?” Carol asked innocently, eyeing the women where they lounged on the  other side of the room.

 

“Oh, darling, no.” Negan hadn’t stopped eating, even as his men looked at his plate with a little envy. “The girls will have a salad. Can’t have fat wives you know? What would that say about me?”

 

Carol nodded, taking her leave as soon as her two helpers came back with the rest of the food. She could hear Negan clearing his throat, the sound of forks over plates fading away as she walked back to the kitchen. She smiled. 

 

-.-.-.

 

The first recruit was Carl. 

 

She had found him sleeping in Carol’s room at her house, where her and Gabriel were going to meet up to start on their plan. The young man was on board. It was no secret how mad he was at his father for his lack of action. Carl was more than willing to sacrifice even his life if it meant his family would be safe. 

 

And two very important members of their family weren’t safe. 

 

They would have to start recruiting without Rick’s knowledge, at least until Michonne took time and talked to him. They also needed to let the people at the Hilltop know what they were planning to do. 

 

Sasha would never forgive them if they didn’t let her in on their plans. 

 

They had two days to finalize their planning, because on the third day? On the third day the time of reckoning would fall upon the Sanctuary. 

 

There was also the small detail of them not actually knowing where the Sanctuary was. Carl in turn recruited Enid, and the two of them had been left in charge of going to get the rest of their family from the Hilltop. The kids’ ability to get in and out of Alexandria without being noticed by the people at the front gate, being an asset instead of a cause of headaches for once. 

 

Michonne had the worst task of all. While Gabriel recruited and rallied those who they trusted 4, Michonne would talk to Rick. She would have to talk him down from the ledge upon which he teetered. The ledge where one misstep would mean losing everything he had worked so hard for. 

 

He would lose his family. 

 

Because Michonne was more than sure, if Rick wasn’t on board with their plan; if Rick ended up chickening out and not putting all his strength behind them, he would lose everyone he cared for. They would lose Daryl and Carol, he would lose Carl’s respect, he would lose the community. 

 

He would lose himself. 

 

With a heavy heart Michonne watched as Enid and Carl climbed the wall, before disappearing behind it. 

 

It was time to work. 

 

-.-.-.

 

The music didn’t return. 

 

The whole day, Daryl had to keep himself from letting his eyes wander whenever a flash of silver appeared on his periphery. The temptation was too much, the knowledge that she was right there, just a few yards away from him threatening to break his resolve. 

 

He couldn’t help but be in awe of her, even more than he usually was, as he saw her put on her act in front of Negan and the rest of his higher ups with such an ease. If he didn’t know her as well as he did, he would have believed her. 

 

He couldn’t blame Negan for falling for her ruse so easily. She was a wolf in sheep's clothing.  

 

Dwight had taken him to the cell as soon as they had finished their dinner, his stomach rumbling as the smell from the dinner his mate had prepared still permeated his nose. He had given into the half eaten dog food sandwich he had been delivered earlier that day, the need for substinance too strong. 

 

He had to keep himself calm, with enough strength to fight if needed. That’s why he had stopped rejecting the water, as foul smelling as it was, whenever he was offered it. He was almost sure those assholes were pissing on it before they gave it to him; but it didn’t matter. If he was dehydrated, he would be no good to his woman when she busted him out. 

 

And she  _ was  _ going to bust him out. 

 

For the first time since he had been brought there, he was ready to be taken out the next morning. He didn’t fight it, he went away with it. He felt more alive than the day before, more alert. 

 

He could feel her blue eyes following him whenever they were in the same area, and like a plant which had started to wilt because of lack of sun; the moment he was in her presence, he felt as if he would bloom once more.

 

They were barely paying attention to him anymore. After his failure to do anything but follow orders on their little trip to Alexandria, they seemed to have thought him broken. He hadn’t spoken a word with any of them, answering with grunts and growls, adding to their belief that he was nothing more than a dog they had managed to tame. 

 

But they had no idea. Dixons were untamable.

 

He had taken a page out of his woman’s book. He put on a front, a persona, just for them. It was what they needed him to be, so he camouflaged himself into being just that. He followed Negan’s orders to a point, yet he looked lost and empty when he needed to do so. He even kept his temper in check whenever he was present when that asshole, Negan, dared to look at Carol. 

 

He was really tested when Dwight spoke to her. He wanted to rip that spineless little shit a new one, and feed it to him instead of the food his Carol had prepared. 

 

He didn’t even reacted when Negan made a spectacle out of him when his stomach growled at the smells of the incredible meal Carol had prepared for them. He was forced to his knees beside Negan’s place at the dinner table, his face at the same height as the food. His mouth watering as he watched, while his stomach cramped, as Negan and his people savored the food his woman had made. 

 

There were more people this time around. 

 

Apparently Carol had been informed ahead of time, and the two boys sent to help her seemed to have multiplied overnight. The food kept on coming, his mouth kept on watering, and Negan kept on shoveling food into his mouth like there was no tomorrow.

 

His eyes met Carol’s briefly when she was brought to Negan at the end of the meal, her eyes as beautiful as he had dreamed them the night before. All his aches lay forgotten at the mere sight of her, her hand brushing his side as if by accident as Negan motioned her to come closer to him. 

 

His mind wandered. 

 

He saw himself leaping to the table, grabbing a knife and stabbing Negan in the carotid. He saw himself grabbing Carol by the hand and running away with her. He saw them driving away on his bike, leaving everyone and everything behind. 

 

A sharp slap to his face brought him back to himself. He wasn’t driving off into the sunset with Carol. He hadn’t killed the jackass sitting at the head of the table. He had not gotten them out of there, back to the relative safety of their community. 

 

He had been effectively daydreaming about them riding off into the sunset.

 

Daryl could feel the blood running down from his mouth, barely remembering he was playing a role and he couldn’t react. The need to swipe his tongue out and lick the blood on the side of his mouth was strong, a reflex from the thousands of times he had done so in his life. But he didn’t move, he wouldn’t allow them to see he wasn’t their neutered dog. 

 

He, just like his mate, was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And his mate was calling to him, and he would always answer her calls. 

 

-.-.-

 

Her feet were killing her. Carol sighed as she entered her room, making sure the door was locked behind her before she sat on her bed. 

 

She had spent all day walking around the Sanctuary, preparing Negan’s meals. She prepared what was essentially a small banquet for him and his henchmen. She at least had gotten out of being around him most of the day, not having to be there for the gruesome punishment he had doled out under the pretense of preparing his dinner. She had gotten to walk around the Sanctuary, making mental blueprints of the place. Carol met people, using her disguise to get to know the entrails of Negan’s Sanctuary. 

 

Negan’s ‘Sanctuary.’ 

 

If she was talking to somebody else she would be using air quotes at that. A sanctuary in name only she had quickly realized. Three fourths of the people living inside the walls were prisoners as well. They were being kept as cheap labor, with the ‘real’ Saviors exercising their power over them at all times. 

 

Some people had children for which they were sacrificing. Some didn’t have anyone else and it was either live like that or die out there alone. And yet there were some who enjoyed what they did, who took pleasure in hurting others, in keeping other communities under their metaphorical boot. 

 

Her head throbbed, and she wanted to cry. She was tired, and needed her family. She needed her Daryl. 

 

To see him, and not be able to touch him, was it’s own form of torture. To be in the same room, and not being at liberty to even meet his eyes… that felt worse than if she had been punched in the chest. 

 

Her fingers brushed against the small note she had written that morning, the note she had kept all day in the pocket of her chef’s jacket. Two words were written on it. 

 

_ ‘Tomorrow night’. _

 

With a grunt Carol stood up and left her room. She needed to wash away the smell of that day’s meal. 

 

If anyone asked, she had just made a right instead of a left in the wrong place and she was just longing for a shower. And if that had led her to pass in front of Daryl’s cell, well that was just a mere coincidence. 

 

-.-.-.

 

The sun had barely started to touch the horizon when the doors to the Hilltop closed behind them. 

 

“So you’re actually doing this,” Sasha asked, a small smile on her face as she looked at Jesus beside her. “You’re leaving behind your family for a bunch of assholes you’ve only met a handful of times?”

 

Jesus chuckled, hurrying to catch up to Glenn, Maggie, Enid and Carl as they walked in front of them. “They ain’t family,” he answered over his shoulder, grinning as he saw Sasha chuckle when his hair got in his way. 

 

“I don’t know, Gregory seemed like one of those dick uncles you just try to avoid during Thanksgiving,” Glenn added, grinning as he put an arm around Maggie’s shoulders. 

 

They should have probably stayed at the Hilltop, where there was a doctor and walls to protect them from the harshness of the road, but their family was calling, and when one called, the others answered. 

 

Jesus made a face at Glenn’s words. “I know the type, the ones who will make all the asshole comments about ‘they gays’ and yet expect you to just sit there and take it because you’re not like ‘those gays’” 

 

Sasha snorted. “And then get mad at you when you have to correct them once more because, Uncle Greg, Maria isn’t my friend she’s my girlfriend. There’s a difference.”

 

Jesus grinned, pointing a finger at Sasha. “Jude and I aren’t roommate's uncle Greg, we live together, as a couple.”

 

“Jude? Really?” Maggie asked, her smile big as she looked at Jesus. 

 

“What’s wrong with Jude?” Jesus asked, frowning. 

 

“Jesus? Jude… Judas?” At their lost look she continued, “Jesus Christ superstar?”

 

“Your dad let you watch that?” Glenn asked flabbergasted at the thought. 

 

“Oh, Glenn, baby…” Maggie shot Jesus and Sasha a wicked smile. “You’re so sweet sometimes.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

 

Jesus smiled softly at his new family as Maggie and Glenn continued to bicker between themselves. It had been as easy as that. His biggest fear, the reason he hadn’t made any real connections at the Hilltop, out in the open like it was nothing. And it was in fact nothing. 

 

He had a new family, and as Carl had said the night before, Their family needed them. And if he was being honest he was pretty sure the houses at Alexandria were way better than the trailers at the Hilltop. 

 

Gregory would have to deal without him. And soon enough, without the saviors as well. 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Cookies. 

 

The whole damn complex smelled like cookies. 

 

Daryl tried to somehow convince his mind to stop his salivating or he was going to choke on his own saliva. That would have definitely made it to that shitty TV show Merle had loved to watch, One Thousand Ways to Die. Daryl felt a pang in his heart as the memory of sitting on the couch, as his brother smoked pot and laughed his ass off at what had been other people's tragedies, flew through his head. 

 

Merle would have probably been part of this group, would have fit right in with the Saviors. Daryl chastised himself as he returned his attention to scrubbing the floors on his hands and knees. Merle had been a shitty brother and a worse human being, but he had been all Daryl had for a long time, and in the end his brother showed him he truly had cared for him. He had given him a chance. 

 

A chance to live, a chance to love, a fucking chance to be scrubbing floors for a fucking sociopath… but at least a chance.  

 

His stomach rumbled as he smelled those cookies again. He had spied Carol, flitting around every single oven in the compound, using them to bake her masterpieces. Negan had looked on with a broad smile on his face, a look which clearly said he was playing along with the little woman. A look which had made Daryl’s stomach clench in anger. 

 

The note had said whatever Carol was planning, it was going to be that night. The note had said nothing else, at least he hoped it hadn’t. There wasn’t anyway he would be able to check since he had done the only thing he could to avoid anyone ever finding out about that. He ate it. 

 

He would eat nails if it meant Carol would be a little safer in this world. 

 

“You missed a spot.” 

 

Daryl grunted, barely lifting his head to see where Dwight had pointed at the aforementioned spot. He had to grind his teeth to keep himself from lashing out as he moved to wipe the speck of mud Dwight himself had dragged onto the floors not a minute before. 

 

Whatever Carol had planned, he really hoped she was leaving Dwight’s fate to him. 

Tonight. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

“Tomorrow morning.”  

 

Everyone nodded at Michonne’s words, before turning their attention to Glenn. 

 

“We must be ready to attack at sunrise tomorrow,” Glenn said as everyone gathered around the  kitchen table. A Map with the intel Jesus had been able to provide them, together with what Michonne had found out - that together they had decided were not going to ask from where- laid over it. It had marked where the Sanctuary was, and where the outpost they knew of were situated. 

 

“Carol told us to attack in three days, and that’s what we’re going to do.” He pointed his finger to the northern side of the Sanctuary. “We’re splitting up into two teams, we need to move into position tonight. Use that as an advantage and lay low.”

 

“At first light we start our attack, the group on the south side attacks first, the one on the north use that distraction to take out as many of them as they can,” Maggie added, looking over their family as she did so. 

 

Her family minus Rick. 

 

“We’ve been through this more than once, go get some rest, we’ll be leaving at five. Don’t be late.” 

 

Michonne watched as everyone followed Maggie’s orders, trying not to smile at the younger woman. There wasn’t time for compliments, there was still one thing left to do. 

 

She only needed to actually talk to Rick about what was going to happen. Michonne had no idea if Rick actually didn’t know or if he was just playing possum, but in the last two days they had rallied up all of their family -plus one or two Alexandrians- they had dug out their weapons -including the rocket launcher with two rockets- and they had planned out a rescue operation. 

 

And yet, Rick continued to act as if nothing had changed. 

 

She found him playing with Judith on the floor of her room. For the past two days, ever since Carol had been taken and Negan had denied him the favor of leaving Daryl back with them, Rick had moved like he was in a trance. Like he was there, but not really. 

 

At the time, it had helped their plans. To be able to move around the community -and out of it in the case of Carl and Enid- but yet be undetected by their leader. Even the return of Maggie, Glenn, and Sasha; with the added bonus of Jesus, didn’t seem to snap their leader out of it. 

 

Every day had been the same for him. He would go to Aaron, they would leave to scavenge, they would come back with barely anything; and he would go play with Judith. They had barely crossed a word even when going to bed. The emptiness of their home, with half of their inhabitants somewhere else, had seemed to enter their own bed. 

 

Michonne rested her shoulder against the doorframe watching as the man she loved played with his daughter. He was lost, lost in his grief, lost in his terror, lost in his own mind. The weight of what had happened to Abraham and Rosita was on his shoulders, and even if they weren’t asking him to carry it, he still carried the pressure of trying to be a good leader. 

 

A good leader that had lost both his right hand and his left one when Negan took Daryl and Carol with him. She might share Rick’s bed, but she knew those two were the ones who shared the burden with him. 

 

And she also knew the guilt he felt over his treatment to them both. Rick and Carol had never properly talked about what had happened between them at the prison, what had happened to Carol as a result of her banishment. Since then, there had been an emotional distance between them she had thought had somehow diminished after Alexandria had almost fallen. 

 

But Rick’s inability to act, where Daryl was concerned, had widened the breach even more. It had hurt to see them fight so much during the days after the Negan debacle, had hurt to the bone to see two of the people she loved most at each other’s throats. 

 

It had hurt to see Rick so beaten, to see him so afraid to act. It had hurt to think he was leaving Daryl to his tortures, that he was leaving him to die. Sadly, she couldn’t help but agree with Carol. She couldn’t help but to agree with a woman who wasn’t going to let the man she loved with all her heart be lost because of the actions of a madman. 

 

_ She  _ wasn’t going to let the man she loved be lost because of the actions of a madman.

 

“Is it almost time for her nap?” Michonne gave Rick a small smile as he glanced up from where he was playing with Judith to look at her.  

 

“I was going to put her down, and then go and try to prepare us some dinner.” Michonne raised her eyebrows in surprise at Rick’s words, watching with a tender smile as he pulled Judith up, kissing her chubby cheek before settling her inside her crib. 

 

“Love you, Judy,” Rick whispered as he watched his daughter settle down and hug the rabbit Daryl had gotten her during one of his runs as she finally closed her eyes. 

 

“Love you too,” he muttered as he moved to kiss the side of Michonne’s head as he tried to walk past her. 

 

Her hand on his arm stopped him from moving any further. 

 

“We need to talk.” Her voice was soft, barely over a whisper as her eyes stayed on Judith’s form. She was doing this for them, for Judith and Carl, for the rest of their family. If they were to have a chance, a real one, they needed everyone on it. 

 

And that, of course, included Rick.

 

“When is it happening?” Rick asked against her skin, his voice just as soft. He stood with his back to Judith’s room, his lips still pressed against the side of her head. 

 

“We’re leaving today, at five.” Michonne wasn’t surprised he knew what was going on. He might be scared shitless, but Rick wasn’t stupid. There was little which escaped his attention, well maybe except the fact that he kept on interrupting Carol and Daryl at really important moments. 

 

“They hate me.” It was a statement and Michonne’s heart hurt for him. He hadn’t said if he was talking about the rest of their family, Sasha, Carol and Daryl, or Carl. She didn’t ask. 

 

“They don’t.”

 

“I’m scared,” he whispered, finally moving back, but remaining close to her. As if her mere presence was able to chase that fear away. “I’m scared of what will happen if we don’t succeed.”

 

“It’s better to die fighting than to live under his thrall.” Michonne never raised her voice, but she turned her face so she could make eye contact with Rick. “He’s going to continue to take, he’ll take and take until we have nothing left to give.” 

 

“And we don’t have anything else to give?” Michonne waited until Rick maintained their eye contact. “He’s going to find the way to take some more.”

 

“What’s the plan?”

 

-.-.-.-.-.

 

“They’re for dessert,” Carol scolded, not looking up from what she was stirring pointing a finger at where Negan’s hand was creeping to grab one of the cookies she had in baskets with powdered sugar all over them. “Don’t even dare.”

 

Negan’s obnoxious laugh resounded across the kitchen. The hair on the back of Carol’s arms stood, and she wanted to shut him the hell up. With a deep breath, she calmed her reaction down, before turning to look at him with a mock scowl on her face. 

 

“Awww, sweetheart! I’ve been a good boy. Don’t I deserve a treat?” 

 

Carol allowed the corner of her mouth to raise, as if she was fighting a smile; just before she rolled her eyes, allowing a smile to blossom on her face as she moved to grab a few cookies from a tray, still warm but without the powdered sugar on them yet. 

 

“You can have this, but no more until after dinner.” 

 

“Oh, sweetheart, I love it when you get all strict on me!” Carol shuddered when Negan put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She could end him right then, the knife she had used to cut the vegetables was within reach and it would be so easy to reach for it and slam it into his gut. 

 

And watch as he bled out right in front of them. 

 

Her hands itched for her to do so, but her brain told her to take a deep breath and calm down. Things were in motion, she needed to follow the plan; Michonne and the rest would be there the next morning, to not follow the plan now would be a suicide mission. 

 

And she had promised they would survive no matter what. 

 

“Then I’m telling you right now,” Carol flirted, feeling her stomach lurch inside as she smiled up at the man who had killed her friends. “I’m really handy with the spatula, I hardly miss.” With those words she took one of the cooking utensils, slamming it against the countertop , the sound reverberating loudly through the kitchen. 

 

Negan laughed as he accepted the offered cookies, raised his hands in mock surrender and took a few steps back. “I do not want to be on the receiving end of that, sweetheart. Or do I?” 

 

With a wink he disappeared through the kitchen’s door. And Carol felt as her knees threatened to give out. 

 

She could do this. She could put up with him for a few more hours. Her little helpers knew they needed to let everybody else know what was going to happen, and she trusted them. She had seen first hand how the ‘other half’ lived, and she knew they were just as tortured as Daryl was. 

 

.-.-.-.-

 

They hadn’t even been able to cross sights all day. Daryl had been hauled around by Dwight as soon as he finished with the floor’s scrubbing. The toilets, every single one of them in all the compound had been his next task.  He wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be able to get the smell of shit and piss out of his nose for the rest of his days. 

 

His skin itched with the feel of shit and piss he had gotten all over himself while doing the tasks forced upon him. He tried not to let his mind drift to a better place, a place where he wasn’t being so utterly humiliated, and beaten at will. A place where he knew he had to take a shower before he was hosed down in his sleep, words said with a tender smile and a mock scowl rather than with anger and hate. 

 

Dwight passed him off to the next asshole, one who put him to work on the yard with the walkers. The sun was starting to set when Dwight returned for him, the asshole had changed and actually looked clean. Daryl hated him a little bit more for that . 

 

“You’re going to enjoy this treat, Daryl,” Dwight said, his accent grating on Daryl’s nerves. He was wearing his vest, and Daryl wanted nothing but to strip it from him and regain custody of it. 

 

The vest had served as a reminder of who he had become. A reminder that he wasn’t the person who had left Atlanta so long ago; he could be a protector, he could be someone who would sacrifice everything for his family. A reminder he could be the guardian angel Carol had declared him to be after he had rescued her that night when Hershel’s farm fell. 

 

He was pushed to his knees by Negan as soon as he was in his presence. This time around, instead of eating at his rooms as he had done so lately, they had set up a few tables on one of the common rooms. Most of the Saviors were already sitting in their places. 

 

Negan was sitting at the head of the long table, a throne like chair set up for him, Lucille across his lap, a sardonic smile on his clean shaven face as he looked at his subordinates with something close to glee. He didn’t even waste the effort it would take him to look at Daryl. With just a gesture of his hand, Daryl was pushed so his face was flush against the ground. 

 

Daryl felt his chest constrict for the few seconds it took Dwight to finally let go of the back of his neck. He didn’t move though; he wasn’t going to risk it. He could see Negan’s boots were right next to his face, and there wasn’t a real opportunity for him to do anything right then. He just wished he knew what Carol’s plan was, hoped he would know when he was going to have to act. 

 

He missed most of what Negan said, trying to keep his breathing controlled. He hissed as Negan - out of nowhere - decided he was at the perfect height to serve him as a foot rest, his jaw clenching as he tried to keep the feelings of humiliation at bay. 

 

It was not time yet. 

-.-.-.

 

Carol sent out the last tray of their main dish, sighing as she wiped her hands clean. She took the time to remove her apron, wash her hands, and look at herself in the reflexion of one of her pots. 

 

The boys came back a few minutes later, the petition from Negan for her presence in their mouths. It was expected. It seemed that with each day that passed, Negan wanted to show her off more and more. The quality of their meals seemingly being a motive of pride for the sociopath Carol was not going to try to understand. 

 

After all, who could understand a man like Negan?

 

She sent the boys ahead of her, the baskets full of cookies for Negan’s men in their hands while she carried the plate for the boss himself. 

 

“There she is. Let’s give out an applause for the chef!” Negan exclaimed, getting to  his feet and applauding as soon as he saw her come into the common area. Carol blushed, looking down as scattered applause came from Negan’s men, a glare from the man himself making the rest of the men burst into an strenuous ovation. 

 

She faked shyness, her eyes not settling on anyone, while she was actually looking for Daryl. She couldn’t see him anywhere, and that scared her. 

 

“What do you have for us here, darling?” Negan asked, his voice full of mirth as he pulled her by the waist to sit on his lap.  

 

Carol let out a small squeak of surprise, barely able to keep all the cookies on the plate at the sudden movement. “I made you all cookies,” she smiled at him, before looking around and giving the men staring at them a fleeting glance . “I really hope you all like them.”

 

“They will,” Negan said, giving his men a frown which turned into a smile when he saw most of them start eating their cookies. “If they’re made by you, I’m sure they will be superb.”

 

Carol lowered her eyes in fake modesty, noticing Daryl lumped on the floor next to Negan’s throne. The chair had been between her and him, reason why she hadn’t seen him. She wanted to get him back on his feet, hating the fact they had him down on the floor like a chastised dog. 

 

“This are incredible, sweetheart!” Negan said clearing his throat, a little of powdered sugar on the corner of his mouth. “I don’t think I’ll have enough with just one!” He took another cookie, eating it almost in one bite. 

 

“These are all yours.” Carol motioned to the plate still on her hands. “I made enough for all of your men, and women!” She added, giving Arat a smile as she saw the younger woman roll her eyes as she took a bite of the cookie in her hand. 

 

“Well, Arat is like one of the boys,” Negan laughed his mouth full of cookie, the arm around Carol’s waist moving to pull her even closer as he coughed, barely having swallowed the cookie in his mouth. 

 

Carol gave him a smile, thumping on his chest softly as if to help him with the slight coughing fit. Negan smiled at her, moving her slightly so she would be sitting better on his lap. The two of them froze when his hand brushed against the handle of the knife she had stolen from the kitchen. 

 

-.-..

 

Daryl was breathing hard, hearing Carol so close, but not being able to raise his head to look at her was killing him. To know she was close, but to know she was within that madman’s  grasp was his nightmare come true. 

 

The sound of someone pushing his chair back, as someone else coughed, distracted him for a moment. The need to risk raising his head to see if Carol was alright was too much for him to resist.

 

A sharp intake of breath at his right side captured his attention. Down the table one of Negan’s wives screamed.

 

Blood splattered the right side of Daryl’s face. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14.**

They moved as soon as the first rays of sunlight appeared on the horizon. The instructions had been given, Rick and Michonne would lead the group which would assault the Sanctuary head on, while Glenn and Jesus would lead the other group who would use the distraction from the front to sneak inside undetected. 

 

Maggie and Carl, who had stayed back as a last resort, had the rocket launcher in case things got bad and they needed an out. Maggie wouldn’t even entertain the idea of going in, knowing Carol would kill her if she endangered herself or the baby in such a way. 

 

Yet, she couldn’t stay at home, not when her family was going to put themselves in danger to get rid of the biggest threat to their continued survival. 

 

Rick looked over his group - Michonne, Aaron, Eric, and Gabriel- trying to swallow down the feeling of impending doom creeping upon him. He couldn’t help but think of Judith, of his little girl left behind with Olivia while they went to try and save their friends. 

 

He just hoped whatever Carol had planned actually worked. Their numbers weren’t that great, and if he remembered that night in the woods correctly, they had been overcome at least three to one. 

 

But Carol’s note had said three days, and if there was someone who could have done something to even out those numbers in three days... It was Carol. 

 

Terminus was a clear proof of that. 

 

Silently, and using the shadows, they moved towards the main gate of the Sanctuary. A single line, hurrying along as they ran towards it. At a first glance, the watchtowers were empty, and it gave Rick an eerie feeling churning in his stomach to see them that way. 

 

Was Negan really that cocky? Or had Carol’s plan - whatever it might have been- worked?

 

The bolt cutters Aaron was carrying came in handy when they reached the chainlink fence. Michonne and Rick stood side by side, keeping guard as the rest cut a hole big enough for them to get in. And then they were off. 

 

Their steps resounded across the courtyard, the only other noise came from the walkers kept on leashes behind the other kink fence. There was no movement, and it only helped to make Rick more leery . 

 

If Carol and Daryl had taken over the compound, they would have come out already to meet them, wouldn’t they? 

 

At Rick’s signal, Eric opened the first door. 

 

A shot rang out. 

 

-.-.-.-

 

**_12 hrs ago._ **

 

Suddenly, there was chaos. 

 

People began shouting, bullets started flying and as Daryl was about to raise himself to see what had happened to Carol, a body slammed into him, pushing  his head down once more and draping itself over him. 

 

He started to fight as he felt two arms sneak around his chest and constrict him even more. It wasn’t until the person behind him began to speak to him, her lips next to his ear, that he stopped thrashing. 

 

It was Carol. 

 

“Stay down.” Her voice was barely audible over the sounds of people retching and coughing, the bullets ricocheting against the walls making her push his head down once more when he tried to raise it. “It’ll be over soon.”

 

“What did you do?!” A voice asked from next to them, a voice that made Carol retract long enough to allow Daryl to finally raise his head and see what was happening. 

 

The body of Arat, the woman who worked under Negan’s command, dropped to her knees before falling face first against the floor thrashing in a way Daryl had seen only in movies before the turn. 

 

She was seizing. 

 

“Come on,” Carol said, getting to her feet and moving to the now unmoving corpse and taking both her knife, which she passed immediately to Daryl, and her gun from her. “We need to make sure they don’t turn; if not we’re going to have a huge problem.”

 

Daryl looked around as Carol made sure of exactly that. 

 

There were just a few Saviors still moving, some of them trying to get away from the table, but were stumbling around as if they were drunk. Others were retching, their hands clutching their bellies, their features twisted in agony. Some had just faded where they had been sitting, mouths still full of cookies. 

 

The cookies. 

 

“What did you do?” Daryl asked in wonder, as he looked at Carol, only for her to push him down once again when one of the few Saviors who had not been in the room ran in. Arat’s gun finding it’s target under Carol’s great marksmanship. 

 

“Eugene had found some cyanide in one of the houses in Alexandria, we were keeping it in case we needed to kill rats or something; it so happens that cyanide looks just like sugar.”

 

“I love you.” They both seemed to freeze as the words passed his lips, his face immediately shifting through five shades of red while the corners of her mouth started to raise as she fought to keep a smile from forming. 

 

“Did you just…”

 

“No!” Daryl exclaimed before he moved past her to make sure the next Savior in the line was really dead, and that he would stay that way. 

 

“I think you just in fact did…”

 

-.-.-.

**_Now_ **

 

Rick didn’t even wait to see if the shooter had hit anyone, his immediate reaction was to shoot back. 

 

The only reason he missed was because the shooter was suddenly yanked by the back of his shirt and pulled away from the bullet trajectory.  

 

“What the fuck, Cronan?! I told you to wait until my fucking signal to shoot!” 

 

The voice scolding the shooter made everyone stand down. They knew that voice. They were here looking to liberate that voice. 

 

“Daryl?”

 

“Took you guys long enough, we were about to send a search party.”

 

-.-.-.-.

**_12 hours ago_ ** _. _

 

It all came down to luck. 

 

She honestly didn’t know how long it would take. She knew cyanide was highly poisonous, but she had no idea if her plan would work, or how long it would take for it to work. 

 

For once, it seemed luck was on their side. 

 

As soon as Negan had realized she had a knife on her, they started to struggle for it. He had started coughing more and more as they grappled and it had given her the advantage. His weakness had given her the opportunity to snatch the knife out of his hand and slit his throat as he fought for breath . 

 

She hadn’t even waited to make sure the deed was done. As soon as one of his wives screamed she had thrown herself over Daryl. Her only hope if any of the Saviors opened fire, they would hit her and not him. 

 

If it came to him or her, she would always choose him. 

 

It didn’t take long after that. Some of them died quicker than others, after Daryl’s sudden confession, they had moved silently from person to person, making sure they were really dead. If they weren’t, they would put them out of their misery while making sure they wouldn’t come back as walkers. If they were dead already, they just prevented them from returning at once. 

 

She didn’t even kept count. The last three days, she had not only planned the whole affair, she had used that time to reflect on what she was about to do. She was going to be the cause of the murder of between thirty and forty men. All those deaths were going to be on her, on her soul, on her mental health. 

 

But one look at the man beside her, one look into those soulful eyes, was a reminder of why she had done it. She would burn the earth to the ground for Daryl Dixon. And maybe that was something that should scare her, how strongly she felt for him. But it didn’t, not anymore. 

 

The last of the Saviors left were on the opposite side of the room. Carol tried not to feel bad as they approached Sherry, who was sitting on the ground with Dwight’s head on her lap. His chest was barely moving up and down, shudders more than proper breaths being all that was left. 

 

“He wasn’t always like this,” Sherry said, not looking up from her husband’s face as she softly caressed the side which was not scarred. “He used to be kind, and silly, and-” 

 

She stopped as a sob burst from her chest. Her shoulder’s shook as she rested her forehead against his. 

 

Carol felt as her eyes started to water, unable to look at the scene in front of her. This could have easily been her and Daryl. She could have been where Sherry was, mourning the man who meant everything to her. The man she had killed, so she and hers could live in peace. 

 

“Sherry…” Daryl’s deep voice made Carol look at him as he too looked down at the pair. His eyes no longer full of hate as he looked at the man who had hurt him so much; and Carol for a moment was glad it was over. “We need to-”

 

“I know.” 

 

Daryl nodded, kneeling across Sherry and unsheathing his knife. Carol followed his movement, kneeling at his side. 

 

“I’ll do it,” Sherry said as Daryl had moved to pierce Dwight’s skull with his knife. “He was my husband.” 

 

Daryl nodded, offering the knife to her by the blade. Daryl was looking at Dwight’s body, keeping an eye out in case he reanimated so he didn’t see Sherry’s eyes change. He didn’t see the moment she made the decision to end it all. 

 

But Carol did.

 

“What the fuck?!” Daryl exclaimed when he was suddenly, for the fourth time in less than an hour, he was pushed down to the floor. His forehead slamming against the concrete making him dizzy for a moment. 

 

A lone gunshot resounded in his ears.

 

-.-.-.-.

**_Now_ **

 

With a smile on his face, Rick moved to hug his friend where he stood next to the boy who had shot at them. 

 

His smiled faded a little when Daryl flinched back. He hadn’t flinched back in ages, probably since the prison, at least not from him. 

 

Carol had been right, something awful had been done to Daryl while he was here. He could see it in his eyes, eyes which would barely meet theirs before quickly moving away. His shoulders were slumped, his head bowed as if trying to hide behind his now too short hair. 

 

“Thought you guys weren’t coming, told Carol you might not have found her note,” Daryl mumbled, as he turned his back on them and led them down the corridor, pointing at Cronan to stay where he was. 

 

Rick shot Michonne a look, she seemed as worried as he knew he was. They followed silently behind the archer, worried looks being shared among them all. 

 

“Where’s Carol?” Michonne asked, making a face as she got close enough to smell Daryl. “And what the hell is that smell?”

 

Daryl didn’t answer as he moved to open one of the doors, going through without waiting for them to follow. 

 

Michonne shot Rick a worried look as she moved to be the first one through the door. Daryl’s shoulders slumped even further, and fear started to grow in all of them. 

 

Where was Carol? What had happened the night before? They had come in ready for a fight, and they were inside the Saviors complex with only one shot fired? 

 

What had happened to Daryl?

 

-.-.-.-

**_12 hours ago._ **

 

They say when something like this happens, you see your life flash before your eyes. Daryl had always thought it was bullshit, but he couldn’t help but agree with that deep inside. He had seen his life flash in front of his eyes when Negan had been threatening to kill them, before he finally chose his victim. 

 

This time around, as he heard the gun go off he didn’t see moments of his life. He saw what it could have been. He saw himself kissing Carol in their kitchen that morning, he saw himself waking up with at her side, he saw himself as he laid over her in her bedroom in Alexandria.

 

He saw flashes of all the  _ what could have beens _ . 

 

Blood splattered everywhere. 

 

Sherry’s body slumped forward over Dwight’s still form. 

 

Daryl felt like he could breathe again. 

 

“Are you alright?” Carol asked him, looking all over as her free hand went to touch the knife protruding from her right shoulder. She winced as even the smallest movement made it hurt like hell. 

 

“What the fuck, woman?!” Daryl growled as he moved to touch her back, slowly helping her from her knees. 

 

“You weren’t paying attention, she was going to-”

 

“And you thought the answer was to push me away?” Daryl barked, his arm around her waist as he felt her legs give out from under her because of the pain. “That was your brilliant plan?”

 

“Not going to let you get hurt.” Daryl growled in frustration as she softly raised her good arm to touch his cheek softly. “Never again on my watch.”

 

 

“Dammit woman!” Daryl choked out as he felt the tears, he had been keeping at bay, threaten to spill out. “Why don’t you get it?” He turned his head slightly to kiss the palm of her hand. “It goes both ways, sweetheart.”

 

Carol chuckled, groaning in pain as the movement made the knife still buried in her shoulder move. “You’re going to have to take it out.”

 

Daryl sighed, nodding as they both tensed, hearing groaning coming from behind them. 

 

“I’ll be right back,” Daryl muttered as he made sure Carol was resting against the table before moving  to put down the newly turned Dwight. 

 

The walker was pinned under his former wife’s slumped body. Using that as an advantage, Daryl pierced his skull with Dwight’s own knife. He checked Sherry’s body, finding that Carol had shot her through the head and was in no need for any further action. He stole a look over his shoulder at Carol, finding her watching him. She gave him a small smile, and he couldn’t help but smile back. 

 

They were alive. 

 

He used the opportunity to push Sherry’s body away, and quickly take his vest from Dwight’s body. It was a little worse for wear, but nothing Carol wouldn’t be able to fix once they were back home. 

 

That was somewhere he had honestly thought he would never see again.  _ Home. _

 

-.-.-.

**_Now._ **

 

“You owe me, Dixon!” 

 

Rick and Michonne couldn’t help but let out an excited sound as they saw Carol enter the same room Daryl had led them to through another door. Michonne rushed to engulf Carol in her arms, letting go only when she noticed the pained gasp from the older woman. 

 

“Don’t worry, it’s just a flesh wound,” Carol said, a smirk on her face as she looked over at Daryl who snorted in answer. 

 

“She got stabbed; flesh wound my ass,” Daryl muttered, eyes on the floor when he felt the eye’s of his family upon him.   

 

Carol scoffed. “Nothing major; the doctor here fixed me.” 

 

Daryl just rolled his eyes as he moved to her side. His hand touched hers softly, fleetingly as he made eye contact with her before he looked to the rest of their family. 

 

Rick sighed, sharing a look with Aaron. At least not everything was lost.  Daryl was letting Carol near him; and that was something. 

 

“Are you going to tell us what happened here? We came ready for a fight and find you guys already took this place?” Glenn asked as he moved to sit in one of the chairs in what Rick now recognized as an office. 

 

“They weren’t expecting her, that’s for sure.” Carol shot Daryl a look, the corner of his lips turning up slightly in what she knew was a smile. His arm wrapped around her waist as he hid his face against her shoulder. 

 

“We got rid of the ones in here, the workers, and most of his wives were just looking for the right opportunity.” Carol patted Daryl’s hand from where he had in over her stomach. “They’re currently keeping watch for any strays, there were some more outposts. We apparently didn’t get his second in command, Simon.”

 

“I know him,” Jesus added looking at Carol, his eyes showing sadness as he gave her a soft smile. “He’s the one that deals mostly with the Hilltop.”

 

“He’s the only one of his lieutenants missing,” Carol said, turning her face to rest against Daryl’s where he was trying to hide in the crook of her neck. “We should make sure he’s dead before anything else happens.”

 

“I think we can take care of that,” Michonne added, a huge smile on her face as she watched her two friends. “You guys look like you need to get some sleep.”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

-.-.

 

Maggie watched the review mirror as Carol and Daryl slept soundly on the back seat. She had been given the task to get the two survivors back home, together with Carl as her copilot. 

 

Not even the smell coming from the back seat deterred them from being joyus the two of them were back with them, back safe and in one piece. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We had a special cameo by my favorite boys! Did anyone catch that? Love ya guys, hope you like it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 

It felt like a crime to wake them up. 

 

They had arrived to Alexandria some good fifteen minutes before, but yet neither Carl nor Maggie wanted to wake their two other passengers. They had fallen asleep cuddled together as soon as they had left the Sanctuary behind, and neither had shown any intention of waking during the couple of hours it took them to get back home. 

 

Carl couldn’t help but smile softly as he turned to look at the two grown ups. They had all gone through so much since they had all met on the outskirts of Atlanta. Who would have thought this was where they were going to end up? Who would have thought those two broken souls he had met, when he was just a spoiled little kid, would fit so well together they seemed more two halves of a whole?

 

Sophia had once told him she thought Daryl had a crush on her mama. It was after that night at the CDC, while everyone had been a little tipsy. It had been one of the last nights he had spent in the presence of his best friend. She had said Daryl blushed whenever he looked at her mama, and she had also said she wished he actually did… her mama needed someone to look after her, someone who wouldn’t hurt her. 

 

He had never told Carol that. It has been a secret between them, just as he had told Sophia he had known about his mom and Shane. How they had been more than just friends. It was something which was just between the two of them, a confidence no one could ever touch. One he wouldn’t let anyone touch. Two days after those whispered confessions, his best friend had been lost forever. 

 

He still had nightmares about it. Everything had happened so fast, her disappearance, him getting shot; her reappearance as a walker. Sometimes when he looked at Carol, he could see the sadness deep in her eyes whenever she looked at him or Judith, he wished just for a moment it had been him and not Sophia. 

 

Other times, he liked to imagine what it would have been like if she was still at their side. How she would have reacted to seeing her mother fall in love with the grumpy hunter? How proud she would have been of who her mother had become? Would they have continued being best friends? Or would he had never looked at Enid twice if Sophia had been by his side? Would she have been his first kiss? 

 

Carl sighed, turning around and getting out of the car. There was no use in wishing or wondering. They were here now; it was only them. His mom, Sophia, Merle, Beth… they were all dead, and they were the ones continuing on. They were the ones living. 

 

And live was what they ought to do. What was the point of surviving if they couldn’t  _ live _ ?

 

Maggie got out of the car too, reaching to open the back door on Carol’s side. She chuckled when she realized there wasn’t really a side, the two of them were tangled together in a way she had no idea how they were actually going to get out of the car. 

 

She reached her hand to touch Daryl’s foot, only to be stopped by Carl with his hand at her wrist. Softly he shook his head, moving his free hand to touch Carol’s boot instead; immediately moving back, putting his arm across Maggie’s front just in case something happened. 

 

Maggie gave him a look when barely a second later they had two not so sleepy looking people pointing guns at their heads from inside the car. They had no idea from where the guns had come from, or how the hell both Carol and Daryl had seemed to be able to disentangle themselves so quickly to pull their guns on them. 

 

“We’re home!” Carl exclaimed, doing some kind of Jazz hands with his from where he had them up in front of him. 

 

Carol smiled, lowering her gun; followed just a second later by Daryl. 

 

“Home.” Her wondrous whisper made both Carl and Maggie grin, helping Carol out as they finally moved to get out of the car. 

 

They had made it. They had survived. They had made it home. They had survived,  _ together _ . 

 

-.-.-.

 

Carol tried not to cry as they finally made it to her room in her new house, Daryl slamming her door closed quickly, and making sure he slammed the lock in place so neither Maggie nor Carl; nor the ten different people who had come to show them their joy at their return, tried to get in. 

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like them… well he truly only liked Maggie, Carl, and Little Asskicker - Maybe Olivia was passable because she had taken good care of Judith while they were gone - but other than that, the people who had tried to visit were strangers. Strangers he didn’t want to be around at the moment. 

 

Carol as usual had known. She had politely sent everyone away, only letting their family stay as long as it was needed for them to prepare the two of them some food before she also basically kicked them out. She knew he was barely hanging on to the last shred of his sanity. He just couldn’t deal with people, even less than usual. 

 

He felt like his skin was crawling whenever someone looked at him, even one of their own people. He couldn’t help but flinch when Maggie had moved to pat him on the back in passing, the feeling making his heart hurt. He hadn’t been able to raise his head and look at her after that. 

 

He hadn’t even been able to muster anything more than a soft caress to Judith’s cheek, as the little girl put out her arms wanting her Daryl to pick her up close just as he always did. 

 

When the little girl had started to pout, ready to start crying, Carol had known. She had known if that little girl started to cry, her mate would surely follow soon. And to break down in front of someone else other than her? That was something for which he would never forgive himself. 

 

It was as though he was a puppet, and his strings had been cut off the moment that lock clicked into place. Daryl rested his back against her bedroom door, his eyes closed. 

 

He was filthy, wearing whatever had been the first thing he had found the few minutes he had left her alone for Dr. Carson to look her over. He hadn’t left her side except for those few minutes. It was like her presence was what was keeping him there, what was keeping him from drifting off. She knew it wasn’t completely healthy, but with all he had gone through? What  _ they  _ had gone through? 

 

If he needed her to ground him in the present, to use her touch as a reminder that he was no longer under that madman’s thumb, who was she to deny him that? Her Daryl who had done so much for her?

 

“I do too, you know?” Carol said softly, as she took a few steps closer to where Daryl was still standing. He opened one eye, raising a brow  in a silent question as he watched her come closer. 

 

She couldn’t help but feel joy that he didn’t tense up. She placed her hands on his chest softly, wincing a little when her injury throbbed a little, but the relief as she felt him melt under her touch made her forget all about the pain. 

 

“I love you too.” Carol chuckled as his eyes opened wide, his cheeks starting to redden. His confession had been born out of wonder, but that didn’t mean he loved her any less. She had already known though. 

 

They hadn’t say the words, but they both had known there was no one in this world for each other. There wasn’t one without the other. 

 

 

Carol got on her tiptoes, nuzzling her nose softly against his. She could feel him trembling under her hands as he allowed her hands to wander up his chest and down his arms until she was entwining their fingers together.

 

His breath was shaky as her lips ghosted over his. He could feel as they almost brushed his, and it was then he realized he had closed his eyes. When he opened them, he found himself face to face with his one and only. 

 

If someone were to ask him when he died, if he could choose one memory to save from his whole life… his answer would be this moment. He would like to preserve the smile in her eyes, the slight turn of her lips from where she was trying not to grin up at him, her work-roughened hands on his, keeping him anchored to this life, to her. 

 

He had never thought he could feel so much for one person. He had thought he had known love, but he was only kidding himself. He had loved his mother… while she was around. He had loved his father, as abusive as he had been to him, he had loved that motherfucker. He had loved Merle with all he was back then. 

 

But it wasn’t until this moment - when he pushed his nose against the side of Carol’s face trying to memorize how soft her skin felt against his lips, how sweet her skin smelled to him - that he realized the one big difference between the love he had felt for his family and the love he now felt for Carol. 

 

With Carol he  _ knew _ he was loved for the first time in his life. 

 

The tug on his hands made him snap out of his inner musings, only to catch Carol’s mischievous smile as she started to pull him along behind her. And like the fool in love he was, he followed. 

 

He hadn’t even cared about closing the bathroom door behind him, trying not to whine when Carol dropped one of his hands to open the crystal shower door and reach inside to turn on the hot water. 

 

The sound of the shower drowned his stuttering breaths. 

 

“You need to shower,” Carol said smiling up at him. “I’m not going to let you into our bed smelling as you do.” 

 

He couldn’t help but blush, ducking his head before peering at her through his eyelashes like a shy school boy. 

 

Carol felt the affection, the love, she had for the man in front of her grow tenfold. Tears of happiness threatened to come over her, and she closed her eyes to try and stop them.  

 

Silently she moved to walk by him, to give Daryl the privacy he deserved after so many days of having none. She knew, from her little sous chefs - Cronan and Malachy - what had transpired for Daryl those first days before she’d come to the Sanctuary, before he came half broken to Alexandria. 

 

“Stay.” Those were Daryl’s muttered words, eyes still on the floor, but his hold on her hand was like steel in his need to have her remain at his side. “Please?” 

 

He raised his eyes to met hers, and she knew she would never be able to deny him anything. She just nodded, her free hand shakily making it’s way to unfasten the first button of his shirt. 

 

She could feel his heart beating madly under her hand, with a smile she moved their joined hands so his was touching her own chest. Her heart was beating as rapidly as his. She made sure he kept his hand open just slightly over her breast as she freed her hand. 

 

Carol kept her eyes on his face as she started to carefully free every button making sure to keep every wince of pain at bay. “Easy,” she softly muttered as her eyes found his. He looked scared, but excited at the same time. “It’s just me.” 

 

“There’s nothing ‘just’ about you, sweetheart.” 

 

His words brought not only a smile to her face, but a deep red blush as well. She had always been just Carol, just a wife, just a mother, just a survivor. There had never been anything to make her feel special.  She was never more than just a woman, not until him. 

 

Her hands touched his bare chest, pushing his shirt and vest off his shoulders as she rose on her tiptoes and softly, finally, kissed his lips. 

 

Daryl’s breath caught as he felt her lips finally touch his. How many times had he dreamt of this? How many times had he imagined this moment? How many times had he thought long and hard about what he would do if this ever happened? 

 

He heard himself moaning into her as he wrapped his free arm around Carol’s waist and pulled her into him. Their kiss didn’t go any further than a caress between their lips, but if the smile he could feel against his mouth was real, she was as excited about it as he was. 

 

They both were smiling when she pulled back. 

 

Daryl couldn’t help but shiver when her breath caressed the hair on his chest, making him shudder as goosebumps appeared all over his naked skin. He gulped as he softly moved the hand that had been over her chest up towards her shoulder, softly caressing her skin as his hand traveled down her uninjured arm. 

 

It was her turn to shudder in his arms. 

 

He whimpered when one her hands began to caress his chest, her nails barely ghosting over his pert nipples, making his knees weaken; while her other hand, weakened from the knife wound in her shoulder, moved to hook her thumb into the waistband of his jeans. He wanted to run and hide. He wanted to stay in her presence forever. 

 

The bathroom had started to steam up because of the hot shower waiting for him. Daryl shook his head softly, gulping down the knot at the back of his throat as he tried to find the courage within him. It was funny in a way.  He could stand up to a guy like Negan without a second thought… and yet he couldn’t find the courage to take the first step with his woman. 

 

_ His  _ woman.  

 

“Come,” Carol said softly, her voice barely above a whisper as if she was scared he was going to flee at the first loud noise. As if he was a wounded animal, and she was his caretaker. And to be honest? He couldn’t blame her for that. The thought of someone touching him had almost sent him into a nervous breakdown earlier that day. 

 

But never her touch. Never her. 

 

Carol pushed him softly so he shuffled back, towards the shower door. “I’ll wait here, I won’t go anywhere. I promise.”

 

Daryl whined softly as she made to move away. The moment the sound reached his ears, he couldn’t believe it was coming from him. He sounded so pitiful, so broken, he couldn’t handle it and turned to get into the shower. Boots and pants be damned. 

 

The feel of her arms wrapping around his waist from behind stopped him. His chest was heaving, and he could barely breathe as her small hands moved to rest over his heart. He closed his eyes as he tried to take deeper breaths, feeling as his fingers started to tingle meaning he was close to passing out. 

 

The moment she kissed his scarred back - right between his shoulder blades - he felt the first of his tears begin to fall. Tears of frustration at his own mind, tears of pain at what had happened to their family, tears of fear and humiliation for what he had gone through. Tears just like those Carol had shed with him before, tears of healing. 

 

“I love you so much,” Carol whispered against the skin of Daryl’s back. Her tears were shining in her eyelashes as she closed her eyes tightly just feeling as Daryl’s chest expanded and contracted with every breath he took. “You’re absolutely everything to me, Daryl Dixon.”

 

It was then when he realize he had to stop hiding. He needed her, he needed to let her in completely . He needed to share his pain with her, just like she had given him the gift of allowing him to carry her burden with her. 

 

He was ready to share it with her. 

 

Carol moved back when she felt Daryl take her hands and pull them away from his chest. Happy his back was to her so he missed the wince of pain from the unexpected movement. 

 

Slowly, still sniffling loudly, he turned until his red blotched face was facing her. Until his blue red rimmed eyes were looking into hers. Until his forehead was resting against hers.  Daryl sniffed a couple more times as he wrapped his arms around her and kept her there, as she raised her good arm to push some of his unruly hair off his forehead. 

 

“I’m sorry this happened to you, baby.” Carol crooned at him, her arm wrapping around his waist mimicking his position. 

 

“Better me than anyone else.” Carol smiled softly at him as he muttered the words she knew he felt to the very center of his being. Better him suffering than someone he loved. He would die a thousand deaths if it meant someone he cared about didn’t have to suffer. She would die a thousand deaths if it meant he would get to live the rest of his life happy and without pain. 

 

“You’re going to run out of hot water,” Carol said softly, a small smile on her face as her hand caressed his cheek; wiping away the tears which remained . 

 

“Take a shower with me?” 

 

She saw the moment he realized what he had asked of her. He looked panicked, his arms tensing around her waist, his teeth worrying his lower lip. But he didn’t take it back, he didn’t run away.  

 

Carol smiled at him, quickly stealing another kiss as she moved back to start trying to undo her buttons one-handed. 

 

Daryl just watched, fascinated, his fingers itching to help, but not knowing how to voice it. How to ask if she would allow him the privilege of helping her undress. The moment the first button was undone, and the first patch of pale white skin appeared beneath his gaze, he whimpered. 

 

And Carol just smiled her wicked smile at him. “Like what you see, Pookie?” 

 

“Yes,” he answered breathily as he continued to allow his eyes to follow her fingers as they tried to work on the second button. 

 

“Do I need to ask, Daryl?” The sound of his name, falling so sweetly from her lips, made him swallow as he finally looked up from where his eyes had been focused on what he could see of the top of her breast. Carol was looking at him with a smirk on her face as she raised her eyebrow in question. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Silly man,” Carol said fondly as she used her hand to pull his arms free and bring it to her shirt. “I need help, it’s kind of difficult with one hand.”

 

“You managed with mine,” Daryl muttered as he blushed, trying to keep his trembling at bay as he started to undo slowly, carefully, every one of the buttons of her shirt, his lower lip between his teeth, a frown of concentration on his face. 

 

Carol was barely able to stop herself from laughing at the face he was making as he focused on his task.  His look of panic as he was suddenly encountering her bra for the first time made her finally crack up. 

 

“It’s just a bra, Pookie.” Expertly, she reached behind her and opened the clasp with one hand. Daryl’s look of wonder made the butterflies in her stomach jitter with excitement. 

 

With a small hiss she allowed her bra to fall forward, finding it incredibly endearing that  Daryl was momentarily distracted from her breast by the bandage on her shoulder .

 

“You shouldn’t get this wet,” he murmured as his calloused thumb softly touched the edges of the patch she had on. “Could get infected.”

 

“No worries, love.” Her smile brightened as she saw the corner of his lips raise lightly at the use of yet another pet name. “Carson made sure it was one of the waterproof bandages .” 

 

“Smart man,” Daryl muttered as his thumb started to caress the skin further and further away from the bandage, his eyes following the path his hand was making. 

 

Carol couldn’t help but chuckle when Daryl’s eyes grew wide as he finally dared to look at her uncovered chest. There was a feeling in her stomach, half nerves half excitement, she had never felt before. 

 

“We’re definitely going to run out of hot water,” Carol mumbled softly as she moved to kiss his bare chest. As she moved closer, she felt as his hand shakily made it’s way to softly touch her breast. He didn’t move it though, as if afraid that if he did she would scold him . 

 

Daryl didn’t know what he was doing. His brother had given him hell once Daryl had moved to live with him, after Merle had left the Marines; he’d called him a pussy, and a thousand other different names because he had never brought a girl home with him. Daryl had lied to him and told him he had in fact kissed girls before, he had had sex with more than one while he was in high school on the back bed of his crappy truck. 

 

Yet Merle had known. Somehow the asshole had known, and after he had to pay off more than one hooker so they would leave him alone, by the time he was thirty his brother had finally left him alone. That’s how he had made it all the way to his early forties without having had sex, without having actually kissed anyone until a few minutes ago. 

 

And yet… he was in that bathroom, with the only person he had ever wanted to kiss, half naked and trying not to freak out as her hand started to move down towards the button of his pants. It had been his idea, he had been the one to ask her to stay. He had been the one to ask her to shower with him. 

 

He had no idea of what he had asked. 

 

Carol smiled up at Daryl, finding him looking at the ceiling as he bit his lower lip. His neck strained, looking pained as her hand caressed the hairs between his bellybutton and the top of his pants. Slowly, using him as a support, she lowered herself to her knees. 

 

Daryl was sure he was going to nut inside his pants. The moment he felt her hand grab onto his waist as she lowered herself to her knees in front of him, he was sure he was going to do the thing sixteen year old him had never done and he was going to come in his pants. 

 

She dared to look up at him, and she could only see how his jaw was locked, eyes closed as he tried to breath in deeply. The outline of his erect penis visible on the borrowed pants, and she couldn’t help but bite her lower lip at what she was seeing. 

 

There was a joke on the tip of her tongue, but she reeled it in. She knew Daryl, and he was already having a hard time as it was, pun totally intended. There would be a time to joke about it later, the best part of it all. There would be a later. 

 

Quickly, without saying anything, she undid the laces for his shoes, tapping first one foot and then the other. Removing both shoes and socks together. She couldn’t help but drop a soft kiss on the top of his foot as she saw him wiggle his toes anxiously. 

 

She loved this man so much. 

 

She just raised her hand towards him and Daryl knew it was her silent command to help her up. Her right hand, the one from her injured arm, once again moved to his left hip. Meanwhile, she looked into his eyes, nuzzling against his nose as he lowered his face to hers. 

 

She felt him gulp when she one handedly opened the button on his jeans. 

 

It was too much. He had been naked in front of just a few people in his life. None of them had been consensual. For the first time, he was going to be naked, completely and fully naked, in front of someone because he wanted to. 

 

And he wanted to so bad.  

 

“I can stop,” Carol said softly as she felt him tremble under her hands. His hands were clutching at her sides a little too tightly, but she was not going to say anything. “If you don’t want to, I can just turn the water off and we can just go to sleep.” 

 

Her voice was barely higher than a whisper as she ran her left hand up and down his back, as he hid his face in the space between her neck and shoulder. Daryl shook his head. 

 

His hands left her sides to push his pants down at once. He hissed when the denim scraped against his hard dick but he just had to do it. If he took his time, if he allowed her to wait until he was ready, they would never get there. 

 

And he wanted to get there. 

 

Carol tried not to gawk. Her sweet shy Daryl had just gone from not being able to make eye contact  - which he was still avoiding as he stood in front of her looking at the ceiling - to taking off his pants unexpectedly as she was trying to coax him into a less anxious state. 

 

“You’re gorgeous.” 

 

Carol’s words made him finally look at her. There was no mocking, there was nothing but love in her eyes as he looked at him. At him! At Daryl screwup Dixon who was too big of a pussy to even try to talk to women, who had a defective dick since he didn’t want to bury it in every hole like Merle did. Daryl Dixon who was so full of scars he himself couldn’t dare to look at himself in the mirror half of the time. 

 

Daryl mumbled something too low for Carol to understand, as he flushed all over, awkwardly moving to cover his dick with his hands as he took a step back. He didn’t believe her, and she understood. He had spent forty something years believing this lie, of him not being good enough for this, for love. 

 

She would spend the next thirty convincing him otherwise. 

 

Carol took a step closer to him, her hand moving to the back of his neck and pulling him down for another kiss. Unlike their first kiss, this was rough and dirty. Daryl opened his mouth in surprise as he felt her tongue touch his lips and she took that as a welcome. 

 

When she moved back, nipping at his lower lip as she did, she couldn’t help but grin. His hair was messy, his lips were red, and he was breathing hard. His cock was leaking precum. And it was all because of her. 

 

“You’re still dressed,” Daryl mumbled as he moved to initiate the kiss this time. Carol chuckled against his mouth, a small squeak of surprise issuing past her lips when she felt his hands fumble first with the button of her pants, and then with the zipper. 

 

“You’re correcting that?” Carol asked as she pulled away from his lips for but a second, his mouth crashing with hers just as soon as she finished the sentence. She could feel as his hands moved to the top of her pants, just as she toed off her shoes and socks. Her pants hit the floor just outside the doors of the shower. 

 

Daryl moaned, feeling her naked body press against his. His back was to the closed glass door of the shower, the mixed sensations of the cold against his back and her warm body against his front driving him insane. 

 

Although, it was probably more the fact they were pressed so close to each other he swore she was going to somehow  feel how hard his heart was beating against her own chest. 

 

Carol smiled against Daryl’s lips, hearing him whimper when she started to rub against him. Since his cock was trapped between them she could feel how hard he was against her stomach, how much precome he was smearing all over her with every movement she made. 

 

“I can’t,” Daryl whimpered as he pulled away from the kiss, his breathing hard as he trailed kisses to Carol’s ear. “I can’t, I’m gonna come.”

 

Each sound of his pleasure caused more wetness to flood her core. With every whimper, with every moan, she just wanted him more …  if it was even possible.   

 

“Then do it, come.” 

 

It was like he was waiting for her permission. As soon as those words left her mouth, as her hand brushed his cock, he came all over them. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Daryl whispered as he moved to kiss her neck softly, his knees felt like rubber and he was sure he was blushing brighter than he ever had . “I’ll do better next time.”

 

Carol’s hands just caressed him whenever they could reach. She felt him trembling against her and she couldn’t believe the effect she had on him. It was hard to imagine  after everything, she could bring this incredible man to pleasure so easily. 

 

“I love you,” Carol answered, nuzzling her face against his until he hesitantly lifted his head so she could kiss his lips softly once again. “I just love you.”

 

Daryl kissed her, his arms around her waist as he kept her close, as if afraid she would leave if he didn’t. 

 

“You still need to get clean,” Carol said as soon as they both pulled away, panting for breath. “Well, and now I do too, I guess.”

 

Daryl winced, as he felt the stickiness between them, making a face. Carol just laughed, pulling him with her when she took a step back, just enough to be able to open the shower door and push him in first. 

 

The stream of curses coming out of Daryl’s mouth as soon as his back hit the shower stream, was something she was not going to forget for a really long time. There wasn’t a thing from this moment she was ever going to forget if she were honest. 

 

“Oh no!” Carol exclaimed laughing as she moved inside the shower, closing the door behind her and putting herself between Daryl and the exit. “You’re at least going to get rid of that smell,” she said in a firm tone.  “We’re already here, you’re doing this.”

 

“Woman!” Daryl’s voice sounded rough and Carol could feel herself reacting to it. “The water is ice cold.” There was a certain whine to his tone, especially as his words trailed off, and she couldn’t keep herself from laughing even more. 

 

“I’ll make you a deal…” Daryl knew she was going to come up with something he wasn’t going to like, based on the mischief in her eyes. “You get at least wet, and I’ll turn off the water and we wait until it’s at least not as cold.”

 

Daryl frowned at her words. “And what would we do while we wait?”

 

“Oh, darling,” she purred. “Just wait and see.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more left :(


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 

He wanted to trace each and every single one of the freckles on her face. 

 

They have been lying down on the bed, foreheads pressed together, naked ever since they had finished their shower. The mere thought of that time together brought a smile to his face. 

 

Daryl stopped denying himself and softly moved his hand from Carol’s shoulder up to her face. 

 

He had never felt as close to another human being as he felt with her, it was beyond what he had ever thought sex would feel like. And to be honest, it wasn’t even that… yet. She had made him feel the kind of intimacy, the kind of love and caring he had only ever imagined in his deepest dreams. 

 

She made him feel safe, she made him laugh when he felt at his most vulnerable… she made him feel like it was okay to allow himself to feel for once. 

 

“You’re so beautiful.” He felt as Carol grinned beneath his fingers, his gentle touch absentmindedly tracing her freckles from her nose to her cheekbone and back.  Carol giggled softly and moved to kiss the tip of his nose, nuzzling against him while still chuckling as he made a face at that. “I’m not joking,” he grumbled. 

 

“And you’re so cute,” she murmured as she bit his lower lip, dragging a moan out of him as her hand moved to grab one of his buttcheeks and pulled him closer to her. 

 

“You’re a menace, woman.” 

 

“And you better never forget that.” Daryl shuddered in her arms as she growled the words, just before she caught his mouth in a deep kiss. 

 

He could feel himself stirring finally after he had busted a nut faster than a teenager would have. Carol made him feel so many things he had never felt before, from the feelings deep in his chest to those she stirred lower in his body that no one had ever done before. 

 

Daryl was at loss as to what to do. He allowed her to stir the shit, so to speak, as she pushed him onto his back, climbing on top of him. 

 

The look of utter adoration in Daryl’s eyes as he looked up at her, made her heart clench for a second. She had never imagined she would ever have someone looking at her the way Daryl was looking up at her. 

 

“Stop.” 

 

Daryl frowned, a half smile on his face as he moved his hands to rest at Carol’s hips, watching as she looked away from him, one hand covering her red face. “Now you’re getting shy on me? Now?”

 

He could see her shoulders shaking with repressed laughed, as she covered her face with both hands now. 

 

“After all you’ve put me through, woman? You’re killing me here!” Like most things when it came to her, he couldn’t imagine he could be this person, a teasing and fun- loving  person while in bed with the woman he loved. Not until her. 

 

“Now you’re getting shy? Pffttttt please.” Softly he grabbed her wrist, pulling her hands away from her face. 

 

The smile she gave him was the brightest he had ever seen in her life, not even her tears could make it less grandiose. 

 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Daryl said as he pushed himself up, one of his hands moving to her back, the other tenderly cradling the side of her head. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

 

“You beautiful man,” Carol said as she chuckled, taking his hand in hers and kissing the back of it. “These are tears of happiness.” She sighed. “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too.” Daryl was still frowning slightly when she moved to capture his mouth in a long drawn out kiss. Her hips softly moving against him, feeling as his cock started to stir under her. 

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Carol confessed anxiously against his lips as she moved back a little. 

 

Daryl huffed, dropping himself back on the pillows, looking up at her before starting to chuckle. “Want to know the God to honest truth?”

 

Carol smiled, her daunty hands running up and down his chest, frowning a little as she saw him look away from her to the ceiling; just before he took a deep breath before meeting her eyes once again. 

 

“I have no fucking idea what I’m doing either.”

 

“You’ve never had a girl be on top?” Daryl couldn’t help but chuckle, wishing he hadn’t let her convince him to cut his hair. It was a lot easier when he could hide behind it. 

 

“I’ve never had a girl, period.”

 

He knew she wouldn’t laugh at him, but he wouldn’t deny there wasn’t a certain nervousness in the pit of his stomach as he waited for her reaction. He didn’t give a shit about how many men she had slept with before him, he just wanted it to be good for her. 

 

He knew whatever was meant to happen was going to be good for him. Just being like this with her, was better than anything he had ever had in his life. 

 

“Never?” 

 

Daryl just shook his head in  answer. The smile, the genuine grin on her face was not exactly what he was expecting, although he didn’t really know what he’d been expecting. 

 

“Just want you to tell me what to do so I don’t fuck up,” Daryl mumbled running his hands up and down her sides, loving the feeling of her soft skin under his rough hands. 

 

“You would never.”  Daryl felt his eyes sting with tears of his own as Carol leaned forward to kiss him sweetly, her hands caressing his cheeks, his hair, whenever they were able to touch. “I’m honored that you want to do this, with me.”

 

“It’s only ever been you.”

 

“Stop saying all these sweet things,” Carol mock-scolded him as she wiped another lone tear from her cheek. “I want this to be perfect for you, having a blubbering mess of a woman won’t get us close to that.” 

 

“It’s you, it’s already perfect.”

 

“Stop.” 

 

“That’s my line, sweetheart.” Carol shook her head as she slowly laid herself over him, her lips kissing his cheek softly before she started to move down to his jaw. 

 

Daryl’s hands clenched involuntarily as Carol nibbled his neck, his cock stirring beneath her ass as her teeth sank gently into his neck. He didn’t even try to keep himself quiet this time around; he had felt how she had reacted at his noises, and he wanted nothing more than to give her everything she’d ever wanted. 

 

And if that included him getting over his embarrassment for once, well he was going to do that. 

 

His hips bucked when Carol reached his nipples on her way down, and he could see from her smile she was enjoying his reactions greatly.  He was getting hard fast, and he couldn’t help but bite his lip as he felt her wet center rub against his hard cock. 

 

“Carol.” 

 

Her name on his lips sounded like a prayer. It sounded like the last words from a dying man. It sounded like what she imagined heaven would sound like. 

 

She knew he was not going to last, her mate was easy to rile up and easy to finish. He would get there in time, but it didn’t really matter right now. What mattered to her was to make him feel loved, to have him as close as humanly possible; to show him just how much he was loved. 

 

Carol skimmed her nose against this abdomen, giggling when he suddenly sucked it in, shaking with repressed laughter. 

 

“Are you ticklish?” 

 

Daryl tried to hide the laughter bubbling up, but at the look on her face and her hand skimming over his side, he just couldn’t any longer. 

 

Carol grinned as she heard his laughter escape his lips. He was thrashing a little as she continued to tickle his side, trying to push her hands away as she pushed it under his armpit. They both knew he could throw her off him easily, but they also both knew he would never do that. 

 

He would never consciously hurt her. 

 

Daryl finally seemed to have enough, rolling them so he was lying between her legs on top of her. Carol smiled as she felt his weight on her. The sensation, that once had been constricting with her former husband, now only made her feel safe. It made her feel loved. 

 

“Are you happy to see me, or is that a gun in your pocket?”

 

Daryl could barely catch himself before he dropped his full weight on Carol as he tried to control his laughter. The fact that she was wiggling her eyebrows under him was not helping at all. 

 

“Stop.”

 

Carol grinned, moving her uninjured arm to drape itself over his shoulders, her hand grasping the hair on the back of his head. “Who’s stealing whose line now?”

 

Daryl smiled before he caught Carol’s lips in a kiss. The hand tangled in his hair tightened and he couldn’t help but pump his hips at the sensation, dragging a moan from deep within Carol as his hips moved against hers. 

 

“I’m not going to last,” Daryl mumbled against Carol’s cheek, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he moved to her neck. “I’m sorry.”

 

Carol just pulled harder at his hair, moaning as he moved against where she needed him the most. 

 

“Carol?” He needed her reassurance, he wanted it to be good for her and he was terrified of fucking things up between them. That was probably the one thing which had kept him from coming all over himself once again. 

 

Carol ceased her movements as she heard the underlying fear in the way he murmured her name. He needed to be stirred to, he needed her to guide him home. But if there was something he didn’t need to feel right then, right now with her, it was fear. 

 

“It’s alright,” Carol gasped against Daryl’s chin as she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. “I want you so much.”

 

“Carol.” 

 

Her name on his lips always made her heart skip a beat, and it was no different this time around. It was something he didn’t do often to her face, and every single time he did, it was like a small gift just for her. This time around, it was like nothing before. It was full of want, of need. Of love. 

 

“Do I just push in?” 

 

His voice was rough, with the strain she knew it cost him to keep from coming all over himself even before it actually started. But the question was too precious, it was so Daryl that Carol couldn’t help it. 

 

She started giggling. It started like a light chuckle, which just kept growing until she was full on laughing as Daryl looked down at her with a frown on his face. She could see the moment he realized what he had said exactly when he squinted his eyes, his mouth a firm line before pushing himself off of her and dropping to her side. 

 

“Fuck off. I know where it goes in,” Daryl growled, frown still creasing his brow,  but Carol could see the corner of his mouth starting to rise slightly as she started to calm down. “Don’t be an ass, I meant do we needed protection?”

 

They were on their sides once again, and Carol raised her hand to trace the lines on his face as she let out a chuckle once in awhile. “No worries about that, had my tubes tied after Sophia.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

“Did I kill the mood?” Carol said, chuckling before moving so their fronts were pressed as close together as they were able to be. “I take it I didn’t,” she added as she felt his hard cock slide against her lower abdomen. 

 

“Shut up,” Daryl said chuckling as he burrowed his face against her neck. 

 

Carol laughed as she moved her leg over one of Daryl’s, moaning  when they felt his cock slide against her. 

 

“I’m not going to last long,” Daryl whispered against her ear as she felt the head of his cock against her entrance. 

 

“Who said I will?”

 

-.-.-.

 

He hadn’t lasted long that first time. But neither had she. All it had taken for both of them was to feel him coming inside of her to tilt her over her own edge. 

 

He had lasted just a little longer the second time around a few hours later. 

 

It had been barely midnight when they had both been woken up by their hungry stomachs and a trip to the kitchen had been needed. 

 

Daryl never thought his life had the slight possibility of becoming this perfect dream he was living at the moment. That perfect image of having his woman wearing only his shirt and panties, while he lounged in sleep pants and an undershirt as they both cooked a midnight snack. 

 

He never thought he would get a woman who understood him, a woman who loved him, a woman who venerated every inch of his body during their round two until he could barely think straight. And then in turn who had taught him how to take her there, how to show her his love. 

 

But that had been at midnight. And his internal clock said right then was closer to dawn. 

 

He was naked in their bed, with just a light sheet barely covering his lower body. Carol’s arm around his waist as she slept plastered against his back. 

 

Something had woken him, something which made the hairs in his arms stand. They weren’t alone. 

 

Daryl’s body tensed. 

 

The lights turned on. 

 

“Son of a bitch!” 

 

Daryl looked as the form which had turned on the lights drop at once, while Carol continued to curse like a sailor as she clutched her injured shoulder tightly. 

 

“What the fuck happened?” Daryl asked, his voice gruff as he quickly got off the bed, his gun still in his hand as he went to see who had dared to enter their room uninvited. 

 

Jesus was clutching at his head, blood flowing through his fingers, as he groaned in pain. 

 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” 

 

The growl in Daryl’s voice, bare-assed naked as he pointed his gun at Jesus should not have made Carol that hot. Even less while the pain in her shoulder was still killing her. But well, that was life. 

 

“Glenn sent me to get you guys!” Jesus’ voice was a good octave higher as he pressed his hand against his wound, his eyes looking everywhere but at Daryl’s naked form. He could feel himself flush as his eyes started to drift before he made himself look at Carol instead. 

 

“Don’t look at her! You asshole!” 

 

“Daryl!” 

 

All it took was for Carol to say his name, for him to stop taking the small threatening steps he hadn’t even noticed he had begun taking towards Jesus, who was still sitting on the floor looking worse for wear. 

 

“He said Glenn sent him, you can calm down Pookie.” Daryl glared at Jesus one last time, before glancing back at Carol quickly who was looking a little pale but otherwise fine, before huffing and moving to grab the sheet and try to wrap it around his waist. 

 

He pulled at it, but Carol had been faster than him and had grabbed it tight. With a sheepish look Daryl moved to sit on the bed, his back away from Jesus while he used the sheet to cover himself.

 

“I’m not going to apologize for throwing my clock at your head,” Carol stated, looking at Jesus as he sat at the foot of their bed. “But why are you here?”

 

“We just got back, Rick wants to talk to everyone and Glenn told me to wake you up.” Jesus grumbled as he looked at the hand he had been using to push against his wound. “You got me good.”

 

Carol smiled softly at the wonder in his voice, trying not to laugh when Daryl loudly cleared his throat. 

 

“And on that note, the meeting is in five at the church.” 

 

“Fucking ninja asshat,” Daryl grumbled as the two of them watched Jesus leave the room without looking back. They waited until they heard their front door closing, before Carol bursted into laughter. 

 

“Oh My God.” 

 

Daryl was still glaring at the empty doorway, before his eyes turned to the woman at his side. She was laughing hard enough that she had to clutch her stomach, tears running down her face. 

 

“Poor Jesus! That must have been terrifying!”

 

“Poor Jesus?” Daryl asked as he shook his head, starting to look for some of his clothing in the dresser. “The asshole deserved that and more, walking in like he owned the place.”

 

“Daryl.” He hadn’t even realized she had moved until he felt her slender arm wrap itself around his waist from behind. The feel of her soft chest, against his back, made him stir, but he knew there wasn’t time. Their perfect night had ended and they were back to the real world. “Glenn set him up, he knew either you would kick his ass or I would.”

 

“Fucking Glenn,” Daryl grumbled, turning so he could pull Carol properly into his arms. 

 

“Do you know what this means?” Carola asked him up, a small tender smile on her face that he couldn’t help but mirror. 

 

“Payback?” Daryl asked, his small smile slowly turning into a grin. 

 

“Payback.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So.... did you guys like it? 
> 
> All comments, kudos, messages are highly encouraged and feel free to drop by my [ Tumblr ](http://geektaire.tumblr.com) whenever you guys feel like it.


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